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Dear Maggot MD
#1
Dear Maggot,

You posted in a previous thread that you were the Mock psychiatrist. I hope you can help me with this very serious dilemna, and maybe you can also assist other Mockers who might need some advice in times of crisis.

I bought a bottle of Seagrams Diet Tonic Water about three months ago. I cannot open it. I have tried beating the cap rim with a knife over and over; no go. I have banged it against the edge of my counter multiple times and twisted and shouted; still not budging. I have bruised my thighs squeezing it between them with a rubber band around the top and twisting madly for minutes; nope.

Should I just throw the bastard away, or do you have another suggestion? Have I brought this upon myself?

Thank you for your professional mock insight.
HairOfTheDog
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Messages In This Thread
Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 06:49 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Lady Cop - 07-22-2012, 06:55 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 07:02 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-22-2012, 07:16 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 07:20 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Lady Cop - 07-22-2012, 07:21 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 07:26 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by username - 07-22-2012, 07:34 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by username - 07-22-2012, 07:22 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 07:28 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Lady Cop - 07-22-2012, 07:29 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 07:34 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by username - 07-22-2012, 07:35 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Lady Cop - 07-22-2012, 07:38 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 07:45 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-22-2012, 08:03 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by username - 07-22-2012, 08:04 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 08:10 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-22-2012, 08:14 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 08:20 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-22-2012, 08:06 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-22-2012, 08:09 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-22-2012, 08:12 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-22-2012, 08:16 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-22-2012, 08:07 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by username - 07-22-2012, 08:27 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 08:31 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-22-2012, 08:27 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-22-2012, 08:59 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by username - 07-23-2012, 12:48 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-23-2012, 11:16 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by JsMom - 07-23-2012, 12:01 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-23-2012, 12:12 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-23-2012, 12:35 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Duchess - 07-23-2012, 12:49 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-23-2012, 01:30 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-23-2012, 12:51 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Duchess - 07-23-2012, 12:53 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by username - 07-23-2012, 12:57 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-23-2012, 02:02 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 07-23-2012, 01:47 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-23-2012, 02:06 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-23-2012, 01:57 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Duchess - 07-23-2012, 01:59 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 07-23-2012, 02:30 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Ma Huang Sor - 07-23-2012, 02:42 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 07-23-2012, 02:34 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by aussiefriend - 07-23-2012, 02:38 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-23-2012, 02:43 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 07-23-2012, 03:17 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by ramseycat - 07-23-2012, 03:48 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 10-29-2012, 03:31 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Love Child - 05-29-2017, 01:17 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Duchess - 01-18-2017, 08:12 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 01-18-2017, 08:29 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Clang McFly - 01-18-2017, 11:36 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 03-13-2017, 11:11 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Duchess - 03-13-2017, 11:27 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 03-13-2017, 11:39 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Duchess - 03-13-2017, 11:51 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 05-28-2017, 09:01 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by HairOfTheDog - 05-28-2017, 09:37 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Maggot - 05-30-2017, 12:17 PM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by Love Child - 05-29-2017, 01:13 AM
RE: Dear Maggot MD - by BigMark - 05-29-2017, 04:14 PM