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For Cars...
#1
A retired coworker sent me this. Some of it's been done before on memes, but some of it's pretty funny. Enjoy buddy:

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

3. How to prepare Tofu:
a. Throw it in the trash
b. Grill some meat

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

11. I love being over 60. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

14. November 6, 2016 was the end of Daylight Savings Time. Hope you didn't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.

15. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
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#2
Then he sent me this:
a friend of mine has 2 box seats for this year's Super Bowl. He bought them some time ago.
He paid $1300 each for the 2 seats.
Big problem came up, though. He didn't realize when he bought them, though, that the Super Bowl was on Feb 5, the same day as his wedding. so now he can't go.

If you know someone who would be interested and would like to go in his place, it's at St Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 pm. Her name is Darlene, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs. great figure, good cook, plus, she makes $90,000 a year! She'll be the one in the white dress
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#3
Thanks, I laughed out loud at number 5! Bass Ass Grin


Funny or sadly as the case may be, is many of those things are true! Smiley_emoticons_stummSmiley_emoticons_skeptischSmiley_emoticons_smile



Another one, is: I keep making the same "new friends" every day! hah
Carsman: Loves Living Large

Life is short, make the most of it, get outta here!
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#4
(01-11-2017, 06:15 PM)Carsman Wrote: Thanks, I laughed out loud at number 5! Bass Ass Grin


Funny or sadly as the case may be, is many of those things are true! Smiley_emoticons_stummSmiley_emoticons_skeptischSmiley_emoticons_smile



Another one, is: I keep making the same "new friends" every day! hah
hah
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#5
(01-11-2017, 06:15 PM)Carsman Wrote: I keep making the same "new friends" every day! hah
Hey me old childhood friend. You got that $500 you owe me?
THANK YOU FOR POT SMOKING
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#6
(01-11-2017, 08:37 PM)Som Yung Ho Wrote:
(01-11-2017, 06:15 PM)Carsman Wrote: I keep making the same "new friends" every day! hah
Hey me old childhood friend. You got that $500 you owe me?

Yeah, did send you the check and wrote it out to me, and it keeps coming back to me! hah
Carsman: Loves Living Large

Life is short, make the most of it, get outta here!
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#7
The stolen one? Sorry about that. Give me your credit card details and Ill sort you out that way.
THANK YOU FOR POT SMOKING
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