HAVE YOU LAUGHED TODAY?
#1


Have you? Well, have you?

Yes, I have, it's one of my goals every freakin' day. Laugh and to be happy.

I laugh when I recall stuff too, the other day I told my girlfriend that Easter falls on April Fools Day this year and she said, 'I should tell my mother I'll go to church with her". Meh, you had to have been there, the reality is she'd never be so rude but the thought of her doing so was hilarious. APRIL'S FOOLS!

Laugh & be happy, bitchflakes.

Bitchflakes. Hmmm. Makes me think of MF.
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#2
I love making people laugh.
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#3
Me too.
My mom turns 76 this year and I asked her what she wanted to do and she said, "Well I don't know, I mean I don't expect a parade of 76 trombone players marching down the street in front of my house...." So then I said, "Oh man I"m going to have to call my sisters and arrange this but then you might be dissapointed when we can only find Kazzo players and maybe one cymbal player." And that made us both laugh. It kind of makes me chuckle now-because I totally want to do it now.
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#4
They call that the Doo Dah parade, almost went this year.
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#5
I don't know what that is.
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#6
It's a spoof on the rose parade with plenty of drinking.


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#7
I once brought a cheap bag of Kazoo's to a birthday party and everyone did the happy birthday song with Kazoo's, it was freakin hilarious.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#8
I brought a case of silly string and we made the guy look like cousin it.
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#9
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#10


Holy fuckity fuck! Those teeth! Run!
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#11
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#12


Oh my God! Save the dog!
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#13
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#14
I'm drawn to this like a moth to a mousetrap.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#15
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
His friend calls 911 and says "I think my friend is dead. What should I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's a silence, then a shot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#16
Sally went into a pet shop, and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said “$50.00”.

“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of ill repute, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”

Sally thought about it, but then she decided she to go ahead and purchase the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room, waiting for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at Sally, and exclaimed, “New mommy, New house - New madam.” Sally was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, “That’s really not so bad.” Then she began to laugh about the situation, considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband came through the front door, arriving home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, “Old Daddy!”
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