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Satan wants to renegotiate
#1
http://www.startribune.com/opinion/lette...95442.html

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Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract. Best, Satan


::lol::
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#2
That's fucking BRILLIANT!
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#3
Does it ever end with the retards and their statements?

I read something where Danny Glover said it's our fault for not doing anything about the climate change issues and if we did the earthquake would never have happened in Haiti.

What a dumbass.
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#4
People never fail to astound me with their stupidity.

Idiocracy, here we come!
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#5
Love that movie!
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#6
(01-16-2010, 11:56 AM)LuMPyPussy Wrote: Love that movie!

I love it in a kind of ... it scares the living hell out of me, kind of way. Smiley_emoticons_wink

Did you see the reviews of it? People didn't 'get it', and thought it was lame and stupid. ::lol::
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#7
It kind of went limp near the end, but I thought it was painfully truthful when it showed the 'intelligent' couple waiting to have children and the idiot fucking and impregnating all the bimbos he met until the family tree exploded.

And I had so many laugh out loud moments during that movie ... the reality TV show they had Dax Shepherd watching was so believable! And his easy chair was a toilet so he didn't have to get up and interrupt his TV viewing. I can see all that happening.
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#8
(01-16-2010, 12:09 PM)LuMPyPussy Wrote: It kind of went limp near the end, but I thought it was painfully truthful when it showed the 'intelligent' couple waiting to have children and the idiot fucking and impregnating all the bimbos he met until the family tree exploded.

And I had so many laugh out loud moments during that movie ... the reality TV show they had Dax Shepherd watching was so believable! And his easy chair was a toilet so he didn't have to get up and interrupt his TV viewing. I can see all that happening.

Yeah, I guess it was a difficult story line to uphold.

In the same vein, one has to wonder if a person from say, the 1800s was put into hibernation and brought back today, if they wouldn't be in nearly the same position as that guy was.

And yes, I thought the 'breeding' thing was dead on.
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#9
Not really the same thing, we've had such a huge technical growth in the last century that someone from the 1800s would find all this as some sort of black magic. Flicking a switch to turn the lights on? A deal with the devil!
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#10
Lumpy, that mentality sort of carried over to the 20th century. My grandmother died in 95 and she didn't want to go without a fight. She firmly believed that modern medicine would find a cure for all her cancers and fix her up like new, right up to the moment she died.

She saw the leaps and bounds technology made from her birth to death she had so much faith that she'd be part of something fantastic. It was hard watching her have all that hope where it was literally impossible.
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#11
(01-16-2010, 12:25 PM)The Antagonist Wrote: Lumpy, that mentality sort of carried over to the 20th century. My grandmother died in 95 and she didn't want to go without a fight. She firmly believed that modern medicine would find a cure for all her cancers and fix her up like new, right up to the moment she died.

She saw the leaps and bounds technology made from her birth to death she had so much faith that she'd be part of something fantastic. It was hard watching her have all that hope where it was literally impossible.

So sad... I hope we do manage to find cures for the worst diseases. Just sputtering out and dying of 'old age' is one thing, but suffering like that is horrible. :(
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#12
She was part of something fantastic, but no one cheats death.
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#13
We let her slip into a diabetic coma for the last two weeks of her life. It was easier on her, pain free and she just passed away quietly at home not knowing or waiting for the big cure to come along.

I think she knew she couldn't cheat death but she grew up watching so much evolve she developed some kind of 'faith' something would come alone during her lifetime.
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#14


I don't fear growing old but, I do fear death...And what if there really is something to reincarnation or that life after death bullshit...Holy Moley, I'd come back in some place like Calcutta, that place scares me too, it might as well be hell.
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#15
I'm not afraid of death, it's dying the scares the shit out of me. It's usually painful and messy.
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#16
Death doesn't really bother me either, I just hope the dying part is as quick as possible. I would rather be squashed by a demolition ball then lie in bed for weeks literally coughing up my lungs.
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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#17
Satan always uses sensuality to draw a crowd.

death is for the living, the dead either don't know or don't care.
Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.
John Adams
















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#18
(01-16-2010, 02:32 PM)IMaDick Wrote: Satan always uses sensuality to draw a crowd.


Ima instrument of the devil...39
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#19


Sorry...I really couldn't resist...But, I didn't try too hard either.
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#20
Surely if I have been evil enough in my life Satan will welcome me into hell?

Maybe some kind of private booth or VIP area.
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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