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The Felony-Stupid Criminal File
#41
ok they hide the coke in bodily orifices and butt cracks all the time, but this is pretty disgusting. i'm glad i didn't have to search him. ewwwwwww Taser


FEBRUARY 9--In one of strangest drug interdictions in penal history, Kentucky jailers last week discovered a small baggie of crack cocaine hidden in the foreskin of a man who was booked into a Louisville jail.

According to cops, Antoine Banks was collared last Wednesday on a drug charge following a traffic stop (the 25-year-old had a water bottle with liquid codeine and a marijuana roach that appeared to have been dipped in the codeine). When he was booked into jail, Banks was asked whether he had any weapons or contraband on him. He answered, “No.”

But during a “clothed pat down search,” corrections officers discovered that a “small baggie of suspected crack cocaine was tied to the front of the waistband” of Banks’s boxer shorts. That discovery prompted investigators to conduct a strip search to look for other contraband.

As described in a Louisville Metro Department of Corrections report, that hunt turned up “another small baggie” that was “found in the foreskin of the subject's penis.” ::dick:: That baggie, the size of which was not detailed, contained crack rocks. As a result, Banks was hit with two additional felony charges--cocaine trafficking and promoting contraband.

The drugs seized from Banks’s shorts and penis were turned over to the Louisville Police Department’s property room, where the items were logged as evidence.

Banks, pictured in the mug shot, spent a day in custody before being released on $5000 bond. He is scheduled for a February 14 court hearing.


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#42
(02-09-2011, 05:29 PM)Lady Cop Wrote: ok they hide the coke in bodily orifices and butt cracks all the time, but this is pretty disgusting. i'm glad i didn't have to search him. ewwwwwww Taser

“another small baggie” that was “found in the foreskin of the subject's penis.” ::dick::

I'm kinda disappointed that he wasn't wearing a Turtle-Neck for his mug shot.

   
"How dat git dere?"
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#43
jesus Tiki!

i am going to pretend A. i didn't see that photo,
and B. it's not nasty, it's medical evidence. hah

















































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#44


I've never seen one that looked like THAT! That's an ugly pecker.
[Image: Zy3rKpW.png]
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#45
LOL.......OMG that is ewwwwww
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#46
shocking! bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt Oops

IndyStar:

A man stealing copper wire from the roof of a Northside building was electrocuted this morning near a 24,000-volt transformer, police said.

Paramedics and firefighters found the body of Jeff Reynolds, 31, Indianapolis, on the roof of Circle City Industrial Complex, in the 1300 block of Massachusetts Avenue, Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department spokesman Officer Kendale Adams said in a news release.

A man, who police said was waiting in a getaway car, saw a blue flash on the roof. Reynolds had been attempting to take copper wiring from a transformer bank on the roof, Adams said.

The theft of copper wire and other metal has become widespread due to high prices for the commodities.


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#47
ABC7 News
LONGMONT, Colo. -- The Mountain View Fire Protection District has fired firefighter and department spokesman Jesse Hodgson, according to the Longmont Times-Call.

Hodgson was arrested on suspicion of sexual assault and indecent exposure in December, however the allegations date back to May 2010.

The newspaper said Hodgson is accused of sexually assaulting an intoxicated woman related to him after a Memorial Day party while he wore an adult-size diaper as part of a sexual fetish and twice punished an elementary school-age child by diapering her.

Hodgson appeared in court Thursday for a disposition hearing, but did not enter a plea. He is expected back in court in March.


12


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#48
what an asshole.

SARASOTA, Fla. -- Inmates from time to time get caught using a natural body cavity to smuggle items into jail, but what happened recently is a new mark.

As the Sarasota Herald Tribune reported, 33-year-old Neil Lansing was sentenced to jail on drug charges and was going through a routine strip search when jail officials noticed something sticking out of his rear end.

Upon removing the condom, they discovered many more items: 17 blue pills, 1 cigarette, 6 matches, a flint, a syringe, lip balm, a CVS receipt and a coupon. Smiley_emoticons_skeptisch

Lansing now faces additional charges of drug possession and smuggling contraband into a jail.


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#49
MyFoxBoston.com) - An Ohio priest is expected to appear in court tomorrow after being arrested for driving under the influence. But it's the priest's bizarre behavior behind bars that has police officers concerned.

It started with a driver being picked up for operating a vehicle under the influence after wrecking his car here at Sandylake and Meloy roads on Sunday night in Brimfield Township.

Police Chief David Blough says Father Ignatius Kury was three times the legal limit

The priest from Holy Ghost Ukrainian Byzantine Catholic church in Akron was cuffed because he had the idea that he wanted to run around the department.

The police say that they don’t usually video tape people while they’re in jail unless they are acting up. Kury was ranting for over 20 minutes in the jail cell, saying things such as "want me to be sexual slave to you because you're the monsters" to even exposing himself. Priest

Father Kury was eventually released on bond and is due to appear in court tomorrow.


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#50
(07-31-2010, 12:14 PM)Lady Cop Wrote: it's amazing isn't it? ::lol::
i remember reading about a guy in texas several years ago who won 4 million dollars in the lottery. he was busted for selling crack on a street corner a few weeks later. 78 evidently he loved his work.

one of my personal favorites was a guy who was a frequent flyer at our jail...we knew him well on the street.
one sunday morning the local newspapers had a HUGE photo of him on the front page taken at the bank he had just robbed. no mask or disguise. grinning at the camera. 17
i saw the paper, went to his house, and arrested his sorry ass.
he was waiting for me. 115

OMG that is some crazy ish LC! A cop told me once when my ex beat my ass real bad and got a aggravated domestic assult charge! Young lady, Have u ever heard of a smart criminal? I said NO, sir and he said us either...couple weeks later the fucker rented a car took off to Al (coked out) put on a police chase ( rammed trooper cars, almost ran over pedestrians went into on coming traffic on the interstate, and wrecked and the car caught fire) Needless to say they pulled the fucker out of the car! lol but what he was getting at is WE'LL HAVE HIM LOCKED UP REAL SOON! U know what is really fucked up He didnt even get moths out of them charges! I WAS SHOCKED! look up J. L. B LOL hes my crazy ass Ex! He always told me if I left him he'd do suicide by cop cuz he couldnt live without me. Pfffttttt!!!!
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#51
(02-09-2011, 05:38 PM)BlueTiki Wrote:
(02-09-2011, 05:29 PM)Lady Cop Wrote: ok they hide the coke in bodily orifices and butt cracks all the time, but this is pretty disgusting. i'm glad i didn't have to search him. ewwwwwww Taser

“another small baggie” that was “found in the foreskin of the subject's penis.” ::dick::

I'm kinda disappointed that he wasn't wearing a Turtle-Neck for his mug shot.


"How dat git dere?"

roflmao~115~Im dissapointed at the size of it~Poor thing! 115 OMG!
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#52
(02-09-2011, 05:42 PM)Lady Cop Wrote: jesus Tiki!

i am going to pretend A. i didn't see that photo,
and B. it's not nasty, it's medical evidence. hah

At least he trims Awink
It's the hint of arsenic that gives it that extra kick.
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#53
what a dumbass.

BayNews9

A Michigan dentist was arrested by Polk County officials Saturday after he found a credit card in a Publix parking lot and used it to buy two large pizzas at a store nearby.

According to the report, on Saturday night 32-year-old Harrun Majeed accidentally dropped his card in a Davenport Publix parking lot and then left without realizing it.

Majeed is a 14-year Naval Veteran, currently pursuing his college degree at Valencia Community College. Majeed told deputies he and his family live "pay check to pay check."

Investigators say when Majeed returned home, he noticed his credit card was missing and he immediately called to cancel the card. While on the phone with the credit card company, a representative told Majeed a new purchase had just been made at the Mia Pizza Pasta Kitchen, which is located in the same plaza where the card was dropped.

Majeed immediately called the Polk County Sheriff's Office to report the incident.

Moments after receiving the call, deputies arrived at the restaurant and found Dr. Richard Ludwig, 54, as he was waiting for the pizza he ordered and paid for with Majeed's credit card.

Ludwig was placed under arrest.

After he was taken into custody, officials say Ludwig admitted to finding Majeed's credit card in the Publix parking lot, walking over to Mia Pizza and ordering two large pizzas with extra olives and using Majeed's credit card to pay the $40.64 bill.

Investigators say Ludwig had $250 cash in his wallet at the time of his arrest.

During questioning, Ludwig told deputies he is a successful dentist in the East Lansing, Michigan area, a University of Michigan dental school graduate, with an undergraduate degree in chemical engineering.

Deputies asked Ludwig if he was having financial problems which would cause him to act in such a way. Ludwig laughed and said "absolutely not," while claiming his net worth was between $3- 4 million.

When asked why he was in the Polk County area, Ludwig told deputies he was visiting because his son is playing in a baseball tournament in Winter Haven.

Ludwig admitted that risking his dental career and reputation for two large pizzas with extra olives was "dumb."

Ludwig was charged with Impersonating/Attempting to Use the ID of Another Person Without Consent, Uttering False Instrument, Forgery, and Credit Card Theft.

"I've been in law enforcement for a long time, but this one takes the cake," said Sheriff Grady Judd. "This is the epitome of arrogance. Dr. Ludwig appears to be an intelligent, successful person who could have bought pizza for everyone in Davenport, but instead, he risked his career to steal from a military veteran."


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#54
MORE CRACK IN THE ASS...
NBC MIAMI

A Fort Pierce man riding a bicycle thought he had the perfect spot to hide his crack, but he didn't count on a police dog's sense of smell.

Clarell Jamar Colbert was arrested after police found a tube of crack in his buttocks after a drug sniffing dog smelled a "narcotic odor coming from his rear," according to tcpalm.com.

According to a police report, Colbert, 19, was spotted riding his bike on Feb. 18 by a St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office deputy, in the middle of the street where he was obstructing traffic.

When the deputy approached Colbert, he jumped off his bike and started getting "very loud." When the officer tried to pat him down, Colbert "pulled away when he got near Colbert's rear waist line," according to the report.

As the deputy searched Colbert, he felt something tube-like in his behind. A drug sniffing dog was called in and immediately smelled the "narcotic odor" where the sun don't shine.
Colbert was taken to a nearby church's bathroom, so that the deputy could get the tube out in private.

When the deputy retrieved the tube, he found it contained 12 crack cocaine rocks. He also found $145 on Colbert.

Colbert was arrested on charges of drug possession with intent to sell and possession of drug paraphernalia.


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#55
hahahaha only in the Keys! GRAND THEFT DILDO!

Meet Mitchell Tice.

The beaming Florida Keys man, 40, was arrested last night and charged with stealing a box of sex toys.

Tice, a breakfast cook, allegedly swiped the items in January after breaking into a utility trailer owned by a couple for whom he then worked. Tice also allegedly pinched two laptop computers and a wig, according to a Monroe County Sheriff’s Office report.

Tice was linked to the theft after his girlfriend, Pshantel Scott, told detectives that her beau “had placed a bag of dildo’s (sex toys) under their bed.” Scott, 38, added that Tice told her he stole the sex toys “from his boss’s trailer.”

Scott turned over the hot items, which “were placed into property.” The sex toys were later shown to the restaurant owners, who “positively identified the items as theirs.” WOULD YOU ID THEM?? hah

Charged with felony burglary and two misdemeanor counts, Tice is being held in lieu of $4000 bond at a county lockup.


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#56
SHE WINS THE BODY CAVITY SEARCH PRIZE FOR MOST CONTRABAND IN HER ORIFICE!
she makes the others in this thread look like rank anus amateurs!
55

thetimes-tribune.com Scranton
After crashing her car Sunday, police said a Scranton woman suspected of burglarizing the Dunmore Inn was found to have a sizeable stash of drugs and money hidden in an unlikely location.

According to a criminal complaint:

Dunmore police Officer Anthony Cali asked Scranton police Officer Nancy Baumann to detain Karin Mackaliunas, 27, 1609 Mulberry St., at the scene of a crash at the North Seventh Avenue off-ramp Sunday evening.

After her car was towed, Ms. Mackaliunas was ready to leave the scene of the crash when Officer Cali contacted Officer Baumann and asked for Ms. Mackaliunas to be detained because she was suspected of stealing items from the inn.

After searching her for weapons, Officer Baumann found three bags of heroin in Ms. Mackaliunas' jacket.

But as the officer drove her to Scranton police headquarters to charge her for drug possession, Officer Baumann noticed Ms. Mackaliunas fidgeting in the backseat of the cruiser.

After a struggle with Officer Baumann during a more thorough search at headquarters, Ms. Mackaliunas asked to speak with Sergeant Michael Mayer and told him she had hidden more heroin in her vagina.

A search of Ms. Mackaliunas by a doctor at Community Medical Center turned up 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22. HOLY COW! THAT'S AN EPIC CAVERNOUS CROTCH!

Ms. Mackaliunas was charged with possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and two counts of possession of a controlled substance.



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#57
She is my hero!

Imagine how handy she will be when you go camping. Not only that, 22 Cent? That just shows how dedicated and thoughtful she is about handling cash. She would be the star in any of Bangkok's Gogo bars.

"Hi guys, here are your drinks."

"Huh ... where?? Oh waow!"
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#58
oh........oooooooooooooooooook Smiley_emoticons_skeptisch

ThePacket

A man repeatedly caught sexually pleasuring himself while surrounded by cow dung has been jailed for two years.

David Truscott, aged 41, of Pengegon Parc, Camborne, had been found naked at Woodbury House Farm at Tolgus Mount, Penzance last month.

When officers found him he was covered in a large amount of slurry and mud, and was surrounded by tissues.

At an earlier hearing, Truscott pleaded guilty at Truro Magistrates Court to breaching a restraining order and to causing harassment to Clive Roth, of the family living on the farm.

It was the third time he had been caught in similar circumstances at the same farm.

He was sentenced to two years in prison at Truro Crown Court today by Judge Christopher Elwen.

Judge Elwen turned down defence calls for a suspended sentence saying Truscott had to be jailed for his "bizarre and perverted activities".


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#59
WGAL

HARRISBURG, Pa. -- Police have filed charges against a Pennsylvania judge who they said they found highly intoxicated, unclothed and wrapped in a bed sheet in a Cumberland County hotel.

Douglas Gummo, a magisterial district judge in Huntingdon County, is charged with harassment, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness.

East Pennsboro Township police said they were called to the Radisson Penn Harris hotel in Camp Hill on April 1 after getting a call from another judge. Police said Gummo had met the other judge at a conference at the Radisson and he was trying to get into her room.

"She refused him admission to her room previously in the evening," a police news release states. "Gummo returned a short period later and beat on her door for approximately ten minutes and attempted to turn the door knob. He left and returned on two other occasions beating on the door attempting to gain access."

The release goes on to state that when Gummo tried to get in the room the third time, the judge inside, who has not been identified, called police.


his Honor---->


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#60
ok i shouldn't laugh. Smiley_emoticons_stumm
the death isn't funny, the report is.
they did the right thing, didn't drink and drive. sad really.


SHIRLEY, Mass. (AP) - One man was killed and another injured when the two fell out of a bathroom window of a tour bus. HUH?? in Massachusetts that was coming from a brewery in New Hampshire, Massachusetts State Police said Sunday.

Police said Thomas Johnson, 31, of Gardner was killed when he fell Saturday night onto Route 2 in Shirley. Seth Davis, 34, of Winchendon was in fair condition at a Worcester hospital, a nursing supervisor said Sunday.

The Colonial Tours bus was heading back to Gardner in central Massachusetts from the Red Hook Brewery in Portsmouth, N.H. The bus company and brewery did not immediately return calls Sunday.

Investigators were trying to determine what Johnson and Davis were doing that may have led them to fall out the window, state police Sgt. Matthew Murray said. Police believe alcohol was a factor. Drinking too much NO SHIT! hahahahahaPolice

A trooper responding to an unrelated incident saw the two men lying in the highway's breakdown lane, police said. Shortly after calling for emergency medical help, the bus driver contacted state police, reporting that "someone had fallen from his bus," police said in a statement.


deceased:


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