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Dear Maggot MD
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HairOfTheDog Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Dear Maggot MD

I'm not detracted by all of you pessimists. I will not delete my avatar and scurry into seclusion. Yes, this thread could actually draw some away from finding out what other mockers have in store for dinner, but only momentarily.

I await the PROFESSIONAL mock advice sought in the opening post.







hah





07-22-2012 07:45 PM
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ramseycat Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Dear Maggot MD

Ok, obvously I am not Mag but have you tried one of those rubber jar/bottle opener thingys? You know they are flat and circular and the rubber is textured so you can grip the cap or top? I have a bunch of those and I use them all the time.






Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
07-22-2012 08:03 PM
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username Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Dear Maggot MD

Fuck that! He's obviously with another patient.

Have you tried an adjustable wrench?

If it's a plastic bottle, you could always stab it and collect the liquid in another container. Has a certain satanic appeal to me.






Commando Cunt Queen
07-22-2012 08:04 PM
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ramseycat Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Dear Maggot MD

Stab it ahahahahhhahaa






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07-22-2012 08:06 PM
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Ma Huang Sor Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Dear Maggot MD

As long as you poured the offal on a willing victim, you mean?

Whats the diff twixt a soccer mom and a lacrosse mom?





07-22-2012 08:07 PM
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Ma Huang Sor Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Dear Maggot MD

(07-22-2012 08:06 PM)ramseycat Wrote:  Stab it ahahahahhhahaa

You're really good. Why I adore you. Those that say I kiss your ass are owned.





07-22-2012 08:09 PM
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HairOfTheDog Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Dear Maggot MD

(07-22-2012 08:04 PM)username Wrote:  Fuck that! He's obviously with another patient.

Have you tried an adjustable wrench?

If it's a plastic bottle, you could always stab it and collect the liquid in another container. Has a certain satanic appeal to me.

28 At least someone gets the sincere seriousness of my dilemna. Thank you, user.

I think stabbing it and bleeding it out may be an option. Before I take such drastic measures, I will consult with my psychiatrist as it's not of the utmost urgency; I can wait a bit longer. I've been putting up with the failure to put out for a few weeks now. If Maggot doesn't respond shortly, I will try your extreme solution.

@ramseycat: thank you for your sage advice. Unfortunately, it has been attempted and failed. If fear that only Maggot holds the answers.

Edit: @user: even a wrench didn't work. I kid you not. It's cracking me up.





07-22-2012 08:10 PM
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ramseycat Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Dear Maggot MD

(07-22-2012 08:09 PM)Ma Huang Sor Wrote:  
(07-22-2012 08:06 PM)ramseycat Wrote:  Stab it ahahahahhhahaa

You're really good. Why I adore you. Those that say I kiss your ass are owned.

Thanks Ma.

Stab it! it just struck me as funny because I could see myself doing that after getting completely pissed off that I couldn't open it.

Here you fucking bottle cap! I'll show you! Stab stab stab
hahahahahaha






Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
07-22-2012 08:12 PM
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Ma Huang Sor Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Dear Maggot MD

(07-22-2012 08:10 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:  
(07-22-2012 08:04 PM)username Wrote:  Fuck that! He's obviously with another patient.

Have you tried an adjustable wrench?

If it's a plastic bottle, you could always stab it and collect the liquid in another container. Has a certain satanic appeal to me.

28 At least someone gets the sincere seriousness of my dilemna. Thank you, user.

I think stabbing it and bleeding it out may be an option. Before I take such drastic measures, I will consult with my psychiatrist as it's not of the utmost urgency; I can wait a bit longer. I've been putting up with the failure to put out for a few weeks now. If Maggot doesn't respond shortly, I will try your extreme solution.

@ramseycat: thank you for your sage advice. Unfortunately, it has been attempted and failed. If fear that only Maggot holds the answers.

Edit: @user: even a wrench didn't work. I kid you not. It's cracking me up.

wellthen. Do. Not. Be. Fooled.





07-22-2012 08:14 PM
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Ma Huang Sor Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Dear Maggot MD

(07-22-2012 08:12 PM)ramseycat Wrote:  
(07-22-2012 08:09 PM)Ma Huang Sor Wrote:  
(07-22-2012 08:06 PM)ramseycat Wrote:  Stab it ahahahahhhahaa

You're really good. Why I adore you. Those that say I kiss your ass are owned.

Thanks Ma.

Stab it! it just struck me as funny because I could see myself doing that after getting completely pissed off that I couldn't open it.

Here you fucking bottle cap! I'll show you! Stab stab stab
hahahahahaha

fucking rofl





07-22-2012 08:16 PM
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HairOfTheDog Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Dear Maggot MD

(07-22-2012 08:14 PM)Ma Huang Sor Wrote:  wellthen. Do. Not. Be. Fooled.

Seriously, I think it's a defective bottle - the track around the cap must be off because it is not budging no matter what.

Writing is off as a "defect" and stabbing or tossing it isn't as much fun as getting input from all of you and hopefully the professional. So, for now, it remains unharmed and in the lead. Smiley_emoticons_smile





07-22-2012 08:20 PM
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username Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Dear Maggot MD

I assume you ran the top under hot water and tried opening it.






Commando Cunt Queen
07-22-2012 08:27 PM
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ramseycat Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Dear Maggot MD

HOTD 0
Bottle 1






Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
07-22-2012 08:27 PM
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HairOfTheDog Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Dear Maggot MD

(07-22-2012 08:27 PM)username Wrote:  I assume you ran the top under hot water and tried opening it.

Twice. It's definitely a defect and I just now ended my 3 week adversarial relationship with it. Every time I opened the fridge, it was just standing there, daring and owning me. Your solution worked (I'm all out of bottled water, it had to be done).

Pic in your honor coming shortly.





07-22-2012 08:31 PM
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