Jeff Foxworthy On Michigan

[D]

• If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan
• If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan
• Your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan
• If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months of the year, you might live in Michigan
• If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan
• If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan
• If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan
• If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan
• If you have a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan

Part 2: "You know you're a true Michigander when"

• "Vacation" means going up north on I-75
• You measure distance in hours (Its 4 ¹⁄₂ hours from my house to detroit!!)
• You know several people who have hit a deer more than once
• You often switch from heat to A/C in the same day
• You can drive 65mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching (No one can winter drive like Michiganders... except Canadians and Montanans)
• You see people wearing camouflage at social events, including weddings
• You install security lights on your house, and then leave both unlocked
• You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them
• You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow
• You know all four seasons, almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction
• You can identify a southern or eastern accent
• Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce
• You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age
• Down South to you means Ohio
• A brat is something you eat
• Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn
• You go out to fish fry every Friday
• Your 4^th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost
• You have more miles on your snow blower than you car
• You find 0 degrees "a little chilly"
• You drink pop and bake with soda
• Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors, and you know its not medicine (A buddy of mine used to drive to NY with a trunk full of Vernors twice a year and sell i for $30 a 12 pack on the corner!!)
• You know what a Yooper is
• You think owning a Honda is Un-American
• You know that UP is a place, not a direction
• You know its possible to live in a thumb
• You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest
• You actually understand these jokes and share them with all your Michigan friends!
  

[OnBendedKnee]

[Duchess]

[Middle Finger]

How do you do coding and at the same time post like an old retard that just discovered the internet and computers?

[D]

How do you do coding and at the same time post like an old retard that just discovered the internet and computers?

Sorry, obviously my sense of humor is much different from yours.

[OnBendedKnee]

[user=161]D[/user] wrote:

How do you do coding and at the same time post like an old retard that just discovered the internet and computers?

Sorry, obviously my sense of humor is much different from yours.

Exactly. MF has a pretty decent one.

[D]

[user=161]D[/user] wrote:

How do you do coding and at the same time post like an old retard that just discovered the internet and computers?

Sorry, obviously my sense of humor is much different from yours.

Exactly. MF has a pretty decent one.

As do I... in a completely different vein

Besides, EVERYONE I know personally finds that funny. But then again, we're all from Michigan too.

[Cynical Ninja]

There are lots of amusing anecdotes I could tell about the people where I live but I don't bother because:-

A - Nobody herelives where I live.

B -As a result nobody would understand or be able to comprehend these anecdotes and would instead be bored shitless by them like we are with yours shithead.

The next time you decide to show something to us proof read it first, thinkto yourself:-

A - Is it a picture that everyone with internet access hasalready seen one million times?

B - Will anybody outside Michigan (Americas ass crack) understand or appreciate this anecdote?

Thank you.

[Middle Finger]

How do you do coding and at the same time post like an old retard that just discovered the internet and computers?

Sorry, obviously my sense of humor is much different from yours.

Right - I don't dig up old corny jokes and post them as if we are all in grammar school and are ripe to experience them for the first time.

::thumbs:: ::showass::

[Middle Finger]

There are lots of amusing anecdotes I could tell about the people where I live but I don't bother because:-

A - Nobody herelives where I live.

B -As a result nobody would understand or be able to comprehend these anecdotes and would instead be bored shitless by them

True, black teeth and surgically removed rodent jokes have limited play here in America.

[Cynical Ninja]

Anecdotes about humping pillows from latent homosexuals don't play very well in Great Britain either.

[Middle Finger]

Anecdotes about humping pillows from latent homosexuals don't play very well in Great Britain either.

That's just another great reason for you to stop trying to with your fisting buddies at the bar you mentioned recently. ::finger::

[Cynical Ninja]

Anecdotes about humping pillows from latent homosexuals don't play very well in Great Britain either.

That's just another great reason for you to stop trying to with your fisting buddies at the bar you mentioned recently. ::finger::

Bend over yankee and squeal like a pig boy!

[Middle Finger]

OP is apparently in a trance-like state, consumed by fantasy ...

[Cynical Ninja]

MF is apparentlyin a sexually stimulated state, embarrassed to admit he secretly fantasises aboutstroking my trouser snake.

[Middle Finger]

You'll notice, though, which one of us has always made calls to the genitalia and sexual acts of the other, and which one of us doesn't do that.

Hint: the closet homo might be the same one who admits to both raising ass-rodents and has male friends that joke about fisting each other.