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Santa letters
#21
I'll just FedEx the Polar Bear to PETA and let those assholes deal with him. Noone will she'd a tear for dead PETA employees.
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#22
Dear Mrs. Clause 

I know it gets old having the old man farting around the house every fucking day of the year except for one. I just bet you can't wait for him to get his hairy stinky ass out that door and takes those smelly bitching and complaining reindeer for their yearly run. All they do is shit every wheres and nobody knows like you what that looks like in the goddamn snow day after day. 
  So I have an idea. Why don't you get on a bus or a plane or just hop on one of those pistons Santa uses to get his jollys off on and bring that cute little heart shaped bike seat down to my place this year. Sure we could have some laughs by the fire maybe later go out and make some snow angels in the hay. 

The fatman has fucked me for the last time and now I can only ask you to join the party. At least I won't be staying up all night waiting for him anymore and getting fucked wont feel so bad.

Anyways hope you are well and if any of those little beasts called "elves" start driving you crazy with all their gay gatherings and caroling day in day out night and day, just remember me and knock one of those fucks up side his little head and mail him to your lover maggot. I could use him to shovel off a path to my oil tank.

Thank you, your humble servant and confidant.
Maggot.  Blowing-kisses
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
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#23
She likes it in the chimney.
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#24
(12-20-2018, 09:34 PM)BigMark Wrote: She likes it in the chimney.

That would be her carbon spitting love tunnel.  116
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
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#25
Well, Mags, did Santa do better by you this year.........or did Mrs. Claus heed your call?
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#26
(12-26-2018, 12:00 AM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Well, Mags, did Santa do better by you this year.........or did Mrs. Claus heed your call?

Yes I got my battery operated drill because my old one sucks.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
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#27
(12-26-2018, 02:36 PM)Maggot Wrote:
(12-26-2018, 12:00 AM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Well, Mags, did Santa do better by you this year.........or did Mrs. Claus heed your call?

Yes I got my battery operated drill because my old one sucks.

Oh good.  I guess you catch more bees with vinegar than honey (or Santa didn't get your notes).  ')
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#28
Dewalt?
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#29
(12-27-2018, 12:59 PM)BigMark Wrote: Dewalt?

Milwaukee on my old one I bought 2 new batteries last year and now they wont charge. I'm not buying more batteries.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
Reply