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Maggots "tip line"
#1
B.M.: Never do a "naked" cannonball. your nutsack will feel like a "grilled cheese" sandwich.

Clang: Always practice your "Girly" voice when peeling your carrot

Sally: You can always tell if you made something good by how fast the leftovers disappear.

Rootilla: Never fall asleep next to your cat (especially a kitten) after you've eaten a tuna fish sandwich.

I have other ones for you many other deviants.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#2
Smiley_emoticons_smile
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#3
I'm singing "Happy Birthday, Mr NotmyPresident" to my carrot in my girliest, sexiest Marilyn Monroe voice. I think its helping me, although my carrot is confused whether it should be aroused or disgusted.
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#4
HOTD: Always leave your cars A.C. unit on when you shut it off, in case you make a beer run at noon with a bathing suit on

Duchess: When riding a horse naked ride side saddle.


Mirah: Remember where the water has been once. It could have been Clangs nut sweat at one time.


Cars: Always look in the toilet before sitting on it.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#5
Yeah but my nut sweat tastes like chocolate and peanut butter, so that's ok. It's my boob sweat that you should be concerned about. Tastes like rancid sour milk.
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#6
Alright Mags, that second post wasn't so amusing (well, the one about Duchess was pretty good).

I never ever  leave my air conditioning on whenever I make a beer stop in my bikini.

I do, however, leave the windows down and the music blaring when I dash into the Circle-K for some cold PBRs.
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#7
(04-26-2020, 08:45 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Alright Mags, that second post wasn't so amusing (well, the one about Duchess was pretty good).

I never ever  leave my air conditioning on whenever I make a beer stop in my bikini.

I do, however, leave the windows down and the music blaring when I dash into the Circle-K for some cold PBRs.

Hopefully you have a remote starter. That was you can start it and it will be cool when you get in it.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#8
(04-26-2020, 08:13 PM)Clang McFly Wrote: Yeah but my nut sweat tastes like chocolate and peanut butter, so that's ok. It's my boob sweat that you should be concerned about. Tastes like rancid sour milk.

All the water on this planet has been at some other place at one point. Genghis Khan was a sweaty bastard his moisture is lost to the ages or..........in your toilet right now.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#9
(04-27-2020, 06:45 AM)Maggot Wrote:
(04-26-2020, 08:13 PM)Clang McFly Wrote: Yeah but my nut sweat tastes like chocolate and peanut butter, so that's ok. It's my boob sweat that you should be concerned about. Tastes like rancid sour milk.

All the water on this planet has been at some other place at one point. Genghis Khan was a sweaty bastard his moisture is lost to the ages or..........in your toilet right now.
Yeah I've read something like that before. We are all drinking dinosaur pee and eating dinosaur poop.
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#10
At least the dino pee is clear now, and the dino poop is colorful
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#11
(04-26-2020, 06:53 PM)Maggot Wrote: Duchess: When riding a horse naked ride side saddle.


Noted!
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#12
(04-27-2020, 09:01 AM)cannongal Wrote: At least the dino pee is clear now, and the dino poop is colorful
I can still taste the ferns the brontosaurus ate 65 million years ago though.
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#13
Do you know how to catch crickets, Maggot? That would be a tip I could use and out of everyone here it seems like you'd be the one to know that stupid shit. The pet stores are out of them and I need to feed my gecko. She wont eat the freeze dried ones, only the live ones.
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#14
Well holy shit, show the gecko, woman.
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#15
I posted a picture of her before. She's a leopard gecko that my son found years ago under the couch at my husband's office. No idea how she got there, we asked around the business park if anyone was missing her and nobody was. So of course he brought it to me to take care of.
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#16
All I can see in my mind's eye is that little cutie from the Geico commercial.
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#17
(04-27-2020, 04:45 PM)sally Wrote: Do you know how to catch crickets, Maggot? That would be a tip I could use and out of everyone here it seems like you'd be the one to know that stupid shit. The pet stores are out of them and I need to feed my gecko. She wont eat the freeze dried ones, only the live ones.

you need to buy some of this shit:
[Image: 5060535]


put some on a plate in a shady corner of your yard and check it every few hours.   It's like crack for crickets.
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#18
I'm going to see if I can find that. I drove all over town today looking for crickets. What are people doing with all the goddamn crickets now, did Trump say they can cure Covid-19?
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#19
Crack for Crickets.......... hah   I like that. Sally I don't friggin know all I know is there is one Jiminy in my bulkhead that will not shutup.  Now if you needed nightcrawlers I could help.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#20
I have found that when setting up a DE grid for a pool to always wet them down

Also when putting the cap back on to a metal container like polyurethane or acetone or paint reducer take a piece of wax paper and put it on the place that the cap goes on then put the cap on. It puts an airtight seal and makes it easy to unscrew the cap.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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