death by wildlife

[Midwest Spy]

What fucking planet are you from? I'm a gazillion times more 'American' than you, sweetheart.

Have a great day!

[Duchess]

I'm a gazillion times more 'American' than you, sweetheart.

A gazillion times more American than me? You're a dipshit & my balls are bigger than yours...and I'm smarter than you.

[Cynical Ninja]

I've actually argued more than once, that I'd like to have convicted child rapists and murderers face death by wildlife.

If it's a 'no doubt' conviction, with eyewitnesses, just drop the muthafucker straight into Yellowstone with some sort of Grizzly Bear attractor (scent, noise, etc.) AND televise the event.

How long would the person last? Would he be eaten alive, or killed BEFORE being eaten? It'd make great TV, and who knows might actually deter some sick fucks if they knew this was how they'd end up.

I have no interest in seeing someone eaten alive by wild animals regardless of what they have done. Its like going back to the entertainment near the end of the Roman empire, grim.

I am for the death penalty but I would take no personal pleasure in it being implemented.

[Midwest Spy]

You know, Duch, when talking to you, I'm reminded of the scene in 'Bull Durham' where Susan Sarandon's character bursts into his hotel room and he stands there dumbfounded and says to her, "Who are you???"

You're a fucking whack job, that only gives a shit about animals and nothing else. Your statement that I should move out of America is just so completely bizarre that I worry about your mental health.

Are there voices in your head? Should I get a straight-jacket prepared for you?

BTW, I'll take any IQ test with you ANY day, and you won't like the results.

[Cynical Ninja]

You know, Duch, when talking to you, I'm reminded of the scene in 'Bull Durham' where Susan Sarandon's character bursts into his hotel room and he stands there dumbfounded and says to her, "Who are you???"

You're a fucking whack job, that only gives a shit about animals and nothing else. Your statement that I should move out of America is just so completely bizarre that I worry about your mental health.

Are there voices in your head? Should I get a straight-jacket prepared for you?

BTW, I'll take any IQ test with you ANY day, and you won't like the results.

Are your and dicks man periods in sync or something?

Jesus Christ, some days I don't envy Duch dealing with all these man bitches!

[Duchess]

You're a fucking whack job, that only gives a shit about animals and nothing else. Your statement that I should move out of America is just so completely bizarre that I worry about your mental health.

BTW, I'll take any IQ test with you ANY day, and you won't like the results.

Yes, I'm a whack job & don't you forget it, you suburban bore. Don't presume to know anything about me, you only know what I show you, I'm not here to cultivate your friendship, you haven't one clue about what I'm really like as a person & intend to keep it that way...it's not like I'd see YOU in my social circle.

Seriously, I KNOW I'm smarter than you so don't give me any of your silly bullshit about me not liking the results of an IQ test when tested against you. Bwahahaha!

[Cynical Ninja]

Am I the only person in Mock today in a good mood or what?

[Duchess]

Am I the only person in Mock today in a good mood or what?

No, I'm in a good mood too.

[Midwest Spy]

I KNOW I'm smarter than you so don't give me any of your silly bullshit about me not liking the results of an IQ test when tested against you. Bwahahaha

Well, if you KNOW, then it must be true. I also know from what little I've read of you, that, yes, we're most likely polar opposites. I love sparring with you and will continue to do so.

BTW, I'm ALSO in a great mood. Been exercising regularly and I'm back in great shape. My kids are healthy, my wife is happy and I'm getting laid regularly.

[Cynical Ninja]

BTW, I'm ALSO in a great mood. Been exercising regularly and I'm back in great shape. My kids are healthy, my wife is happy and I'm getting laid regularly.

Then why in the name of Jebus are you being such a bitchboy?

[Duchess]

I also know from what little I've read of you, that, yes, we're most likely polar opposites.

I love sparring with you and will continue to do so.

Elaborate a little on what you see as the extreme differences between us. I'm always interested in seeing how others perceive me, particularly someone who thinks he "knows" me.

You better love sparring with me after I've invested this time engaging you. I don't spar with just anyone in here.

[Lady Cop]

i'm going to sic some hungry alligators on the whole lot of you buggers.
this is a thread fraught with tragedy.

[Midwest Spy]

BTW, I'm ALSO in a great mood. Been exercising regularly and I'm back in great shape. My kids are healthy, my wife is happy and I'm getting laid regularly.

Then why in the name of Jebus are you being such a bitchboy?

Didn't know I was bitching about anything. I stated that I'd like to see convicted child rapists and murderers face 'death by wildlife'. If that's a little extreme for some, I get it. Duch said I should move out of the country because I like anarchy.

[Midwest Spy]

I also know from what little I've read of you, that, yes, we're most likely polar opposites.

I love sparring with you and will continue to do so.

Elaborate a little on what you see as the extreme differences between us. I'm always interested in seeing how others perceive me, particularly someone who thinks he "knows" me.

You better love sparring with me after I've invested this time engaging you. I don't spar with just anyone in here.

I have kids, you don't. You have animals, I don't (except for a Golden Retriever). You like scraggy, biker men (kinda like ZZ Top) and that's not me (though I love their music). You're a big, strong woman who hasn't ever considered making her man a sammich, and my wife LIKES making me a sammich. I like to fly on airplanes and travel, and you don't.

Anyhoo, we probably have different political viewpoints as well. Pretty sure, actually. Does this make us mortal enemies? Only if you want it to.

[Duchess]

I have kids, you don't.

You have animals, I don't (except for a Golden Retriever).

You like scraggy, biker men (kinda like ZZ Top) and that's not me (though I love their music).

You're a big, strong woman who hasn't ever considered making her man a sammich, and my wife LIKES making me a sammich.

I like to fly on airplanes and travel, and you don't.

Holy Moly, I don't know where to begin.

Yeah, you have kids, one a pain in the ass teen who has been a problem on a couple different levels & you have a second family, by the time the little one/s graduate you'll be eligible for your senior discount. You are a cliche'. *snicker*

Some of those animals you refer to have given me a very nice life. I can't imagine a day of my life without a horse in it. If there are no horses in heaven I'm not going.

Your wife makes you a sammich because she is a suburban hausfrau, it's her fuckin' JOB, she's a Betty Crocker of the 'burbs...house, kids, husband, day after fuckin' day. *shudders* Again, a cliche'. You're perfectly suited.

Scraggy biker men, huh? Oh my my. Hahahaha! If you only knew.

[Cracker]

You're a big, strong woman who hasn't ever considered making her man a sammich, and my wife LIKES making me a sammich.

Can we just focus on the fuckupedness of this one statement?

I don't mind making food for my loved ones, sometimes it can be very zen, but to insist your wife LIKES to make you sandwich is somewhat disturbing.

First, she probably licks the knife after she makes her own sandwich and smiles a special, knowing smile at you when she brings you your tainted sandwich.

Second, did you marry a woman who has striven only to make you a sandwich? Is that the maximum display of codependence and weakness?

Third, she's probably lying. She would probably prefer YOU make the fucking sandwiches IF you would clean up after. You probably skip the last part, so she makes the sandwich to avoid a big mess.

Fourth, you are American Dad. I hope you keep your weapons in a gun safe. One day your wife is going to make you a sandwich then go for the guns, all with a big smile. I don't know her, so I don't know if she'll take you out first or herself. Only you know that.

Next time she is in there happily making you a sandwich, ask her if she secretly hates you. You might be surprised at her answer.

[Midwest Spy]

I have kids, you don't.

You have animals, I don't (except for a Golden Retriever).

You like scraggy, biker men (kinda like ZZ Top) and that's not me (though I love their music).

You're a big, strong woman who hasn't ever considered making her man a sammich, and my wife LIKES making me a sammich.

I like to fly on airplanes and travel, and you don't.

Holy Moly, I don't know where to begin.

Yeah, you have kids, one a pain in the ass teen who has been a problem on a couple different levels & you have a second family, by the time the little one/s graduate you'll be eligible for your senior discount. You are a cliche'. *snicker*

Some of those animals you refer to have given me a very nice life. I can't imagine a day of my life without a horse in it. If there are no horses in heaven I'm not going.

Your wife makes you a sammich because she is a suburban hausfrau, it's her fuckin' JOB, she's a Betty Crocker of the 'burbs...house, kids, husband, day after fuckin' day. *shudders* Again, a cliche'. You're perfectly suited.

Scraggy biker men, huh? Oh my my. Hahahaha! If you only knew.

Who says I don't ALREADY have my AARP card?

Really, you're trying to make fun of people who have children, and are responsible parents?

You also don't have any women friends that are 'hausfrau's'? If so, do they know how you despise their lifestyle?

My wife happened to work as the director of admissions for a high school here in the Twin Cities for 14 years. 2 years ago we were in a position to have her be able to stay at home and 'raise' the kids.

So, I've been divorced and re-married? What's the BFD?

Duchess, I've got bigger issues in my life than arguing about who you are and who I am.

BTW, I really DID think you loved long-haired 'biker' types?????

[Midwest Spy]

You're a big, strong woman who hasn't ever considered making her man a sammich, and my wife LIKES making me a sammich.

Can we just focus on the fuckupedness of this one statement?

I don't mind making food for my loved ones, sometimes it can be very zen, but to insist your wife LIKES to make you sandwich is somewhat disturbing.

First, she probably licks the knife after she makes her own sandwich and smiles a special, knowing smile at you when she brings you your tainted sandwich.

Second, did you marry a woman who has striven only to make you a sandwich? Is that the maximum display of codependence and weakness?

Third, she's probably lying. She would probably prefer YOU make the fucking sandwiches IF you would clean up after. You probably skip the last part, so she makes the sandwich to avoid a big mess.

Fourth, you are American Dad. I hope you keep your weapons in a gun safe. One day your wife is going to make you a sandwich then go for the guns, all with a big smile. I don't know her, so I don't know if she'll take you out first or herself. Only you know that.

Next time she is in there happily making you a sandwich, ask her if she secretly hates you. You might be surprised at her answer.

I love 'splainin myself to you haters...

She only makes me a sandwich so I don't go blow money eating out. Very frugal.

I don't have any guns. Neither of us are big believers in having them in the home, especially with little ones present.

She actually might despise me. I'm not very romantic. I could use some pointers there from you bee-otches.

[Duchess]

She only makes me a sandwich so I don't go blow money eating out.

And you take full advantage of that fact, dontcha.

[Midwest Spy]

She only makes me a sandwich so I don't go blow money eating out.

And you take full advantage of that fact, dontcha.

I really don't. She's gone from working 8-12 hour days (she was also the competitive cheer coach), to being a total hausfrau, as you'd call her.

She's super content with this part of her life. Loves being with the kids and COOKING. Like I said, she'll jump my shit because I'm not 'romantic'. The other night, she gave me the old line, 'you just want to have sex when we're alone. you don't want to cuddle, etc.'

We actually have a glass of wine every night, and get to converse for probably an hour or so after the tykes go down. I think she's just nitpicking. I'm certainly not the husband of the year, but I should be in the top 20% nationwide. Okay, maybe top 50%. Who does these fucking rankings anyway?

I certainly don't feel like I've got her tied to the house. We just went to California for a week, she's going to Albany, NY to visit an old friend in September (with just 1 of the kids) and we're going to Hawaii in January for 2 weeks.

If that's playing the role of the beat-down housewife, I'd like to sign up.