The 2013 Trivial, Boring Drivel Thread....

[Midwest Spy]

It's funny reading about old, fat people working out.

[HairOfTheDog]

It's funny reading about old, fat people working out.

You think THAT'S funny...

I know this middle-aged married dude with a couple of really cute kids; I'm begrudgingly kinda fond of the fool.

Anyway, this breast-obsessed fool imagines young nubile exchange students and hard-bodied gym babes (specifically the brown-eyed ones) devouring his irresistible white-bread self with their eyes, at all turns.

It's his hypnotic blue eyes that reels 'em in and melts the chicks in their tracks; that's what he says.

[Midwest Spy]

It's funny reading about old, fat people working out.

You think THAT'S funny...

I know this middle-aged married dude with a couple of really cute kids; I'm begrudgingly kinda fond of the fool.

Anyway, this breast-obsessed fool imagines young nubile exchange students and hard-bodied gym babes (specifically the brown-eyed ones) devouring his irresistible white-bread self with their eyes, at all turns.

It's his hypnotic blue eyes that reels 'em in and melts the chicks in their tracks; that's what he says.

^^ Is there enough material there to start a mini-series? Kinda like The Thorn Birds, but with a much less-interesting twist?

Maybe you could churn out a script for a pilot and we'll go from there?

[HairOfTheDog]

^^ Is there enough material there to start a mini-series? Kinda like The Thorn Birds, but with a much less-interesting twist?

Maybe you could churn out a script for a pilot and we'll go from there?

Probably not enough material for a mini-series, but maybe a character on Three's Company - The Next Generation.

You can play the younger cousin of Larry the playboy.




Or, Mr. Furley's equally studly son.




No need for a script; you can improv either quite naturally, I'm sure.

[Duchess]

*snicker*

[Midwest Spy]

^^ Is there enough material there to start a mini-series? Kinda like The Thorn Birds, but with a much less-interesting twist?

Maybe you could churn out a script for a pilot and we'll go from there?

Probably not enough material for a mini-series, but maybe a character on Three's Company - The Next Generation.

You can play the younger cousin of Larry the playboy.




Or, Mr. Furley's equally studly son.




No need for a script; you can improv either quite naturally, I'm sure.

I gots skillz in front of the camera, no doubt.

Did I tell you when I was in the service, I was a television anchor/radio personality?

Hate to say it, but that 'being famous' quality, added to my smoldering all-American good looks, had the women lining up.

The piercing blue eyes really come through the TV screen.

I can't just keep making this shit up, can I?

[Duchess]

"smoldering all-American good looks"



You're a perving perv. The only thing missing are the cheap gold chains draped around your neck.

[HairOfTheDog]

Did I tell you when I was in the service, I was a television anchor/radio personality?

The piercing blue eyes really come through the TV screen.

I can't just keep making this shit up, can I?

You told me about the radio gig, but not the tv anchor deal.

I don't know if you're making this shit up, but I can see it.



You definitely have the piercing blue eyes and penchant for taking on the hard-hitting issues; just like Ted Baxter.

[Midwest Spy]

"smoldering all-American good looks"



You're a perving perv. The only thing missing are the cheap gold chains draped around your neck.

Yes.

I love tits.

And ass.

Does that make me a perving perv?

According to Ramsey, yes.

I didn't think you were drinking the kool-aid too.

[Duchess]

There's nothing wrong with lovin' tits & ass. That's not why I think you're a perving perv.

[Jimbone]

Then why is he?

[Duchess]

Then why is he?

...because he leers at women & creates fantasies in his mind.

....because he thinks everyone who even looks at him sideways wants him.

...because he presumes women view him the same way he views them.

...because he only sees breasts & ass, never mind if they are smart and/or good looking.

...because he has never seen a cleavage that he hasn't wanted to slide his dick into.

...because I said so.

[Midwest Spy]

Then why is he?

...because he only sees breasts & ass, never mind if they are smart and/or good looking.

That's what pillow talk is for after the sex, to find out those 'meaningful' qualities.

...because he has never seen a cleavage that he hasn't wanted to slide his dick into.

You ARE a frickin' mind-reader.

[sally]

Fuck MS, the old pervert.

Last weekend I took my daughter to the Nickelodeon resort and they have a toddler area with a little water slide that empties into a small pool. The first night was great, all the toddlers were going down the slide and then they would start climbing back up the slide as another one was coming down and bump into each other. No one got hurt, the parents didn't care (probably drunk) and the kids had a blast.

Next morning was a different story, the slide police were there. Twenty retarded parents standing around this stupid slide trying to reason with toddlers that they have move away from the pool area as another kid comes down or God forbid someone will get killed. One stupid bitch rolled her eyes at my 2 year old daughter because she was sitting at the bottom of the slide and her precious snow flake couldn't come down, I gave her the death stare. So now all the kids are crying and miserable because they don't understand why they have to follow an exact order like a bunch of minions and I can't fucking enjoy my bloody mary without wanting to kill someone. I hate people.

[Midwest Spy]

I was just at a water park with my kids, and they also like to dawdle at the bottom of the slides.

My 6 year old is pretty sharp. He'll get hit once and then he realizes that maybe he should move.

My little girl, however, is tough and stubborn. She's gonna do what she feels like doing, even if it's getting crushed by 100lb boys.

[sally]

I know there has to be some order with the older kids and they are old enough to understand that, but the kiddy slide? You cant expect a two year old not to want to sit in the pool that the slide goes into. If they bump into another 2 year old no one is going to die. My table was like 5 ft away from the slide and I was forced to get up and go by the slide too because I couldn't see my kid anymore with all the fat neurotic parents hovering over it. Jesus Christ, sit the fuck down, keep an eye on your kid and let them play.

[sally]

My next reason for hating people today is my son's 10^th grade math teacher is 40 but pretends to be 20 and told the class that their theme song is Roar by Katie Perry. Stupid fucking ding bat.

[Midwest Spy]

My next reason for hating people today is my son's 10^th grade math teacher is 40 but pretends to be 20 and told the class that their theme song is Roar by Katie Perry. Stupid fucking ding bat.

Does she look capable of seducing any of her students?

[sally]

I've never met her. My son just told me this story right when I was dropping him off at a game so I didn't get a chance to ask if she looked good. He said she was a real dipshit though. I'm picturing her like this...

[Maggot]

Poor Sally, anyways............

I was looking at the globe tonight and if I drilled a hole through the earth I would come out right next to Abel Tasman's face in the middle of the ocean off the west coast of Australia. But.......
If I lived in L.A. and drilled a hole through the earth I would end up near the Mascarene islands.



But L.A. aint my kind of town, there aint nobody and there aint nobody like me.

We now return you to Sally bitching about how hot the teacher is compared to her.