A Brady Bunch question

[Clang McFly]

Or Jan was jealous because it's always about Marsha Marsha Marsha so she paid Greg 5 bucks to bust her in the nose with a football.

Ok, smarty pants. Answer me this...



...what the hell prompted Jan Brady to rock the faux-fro?

She was tired of getting compared to Marsha and wanted to be noticed for being herself.

[sally]

She was tired of getting compared to Marsha and wanted to be noticed for being herself.

Gold star for you, young man.

[FAHQTOO]

Well that one is easy, Jan was fucking nuts.

Jan Brady just sold her Malibu beach house for 3.9 Million. She bought it when she was 11 for $53,000. She was nuts, but smart with her money.
Jan also had the best hair. Marshas was thin and stringy.

[HairOfTheDog]

Jan Brady just sold her Malibu beach house for 3.9 Million. She bought it when she was 11 for $53,000. She was nuts, but smart with her money.
Jan also had the best hair. Marshas was thin and stringy.

That was a really smart investment. Her Malibu house was charming, old school beach cottage. Now, they're gonna tear it down and put up another artsy chic glass-front place. :(

Jan did have good hair. Cousin Oliver, not so much -- that bowl cut of his wasn't groovy at all.



So, why did cousin Oliver end up living in the Brady house and what nickname did the kids call him?

[Maggot]

I think he creeped out from the garage one day and said. WTF!!!!Who are you people?

[HairOfTheDog]

I think he creeped out from the garage one day and said. WTF!!!!Who are you people?

That's basically correct!

You see, Alice and Sam had a child out of wedlock, which was still taboo back in the 70s. Sam was too drunk and old to care for the child and Alice was ashamed to admit her sin. Plus, she needed to keep her job. So, she dressed in mumu maid uniforms for several months and hid her pregnancy.

When the baby was born, Alice bought a tiny little ball gag to keep him silent. She hid the child in Tiger's dog house during the day and at night she moved him into the garage, in the backseat of the station wagon. Until.....one night when Oliver was 4, Alice confessed the whole sordid story to Mrs. Brady after knocking back a bottle of cooking cherry.

Carol didn't want to lose Alice and have to cook and clean and care for her own damned kids and that filthy dog. So, she kept Alice's secret and paid to have her sister and brother-in-law take Oliver in as their own. Oliver remained silent for a full year in his new home due to gag reflex syndrome. But, then he started talking and he turned out to be an annoying little son of a bitch, plus he was a jinx and brought Carol's sister and her husband nothing but mishaps.

So, after two years with the kid, Oliver's adoptive parents abandoned him in the Brady garage in the dead of night and took off for some archaeological dig. (They were never seen alive again.)

Poor orphaned Oliver awoke in the wee hours, alone and hungry back in his infant resting place and decided to sneak into the Brady home. That's when Alice came out of her room to smoke a joint with Mrs. Brady and they caught Oliver in the kitchen eating the leftover pork chops and applesauce. Well, Alice and Carol told the boy and the Bradys that cousin Oliver's bone-digging parents went on a long vacation and that he would be staying for a while; no one was the wiser. And, that's the way they became the Brady Bunch + 1.

[BigMark]

Holy christ on a pogo stick that is funny as fuck.

[sally]

I think he creeped out from the garage one day and said. WTF!!!!Who are you people?

That's basically correct!

You see, Alice and had Sam had a child out of wedlock, which was still taboo back in the 70s. Sam was too drunk and old to care for the child and Alice was ashamed to admit her sin. Plus, she needed to keep her job. So, she dressed in mumu maid uniforms for several months and hid her pregnancy.

When the baby was born, Alice bought a tiny little ball gag to keep him silent. She hid the child in Tiger's dog house during the day and at night she moved him into the garage, in the backseat of the station wagon. Until.....one night when Oliver was 4, Alice confessed the whole sordid story to Mrs. Brady after knocking back a bottle of cooking cherry.

Carol didn't want to lose Alice and have to cook and clean and care for her own damned kids and that filthy dog. So, she kept Alice's secret and paid to have her sister and brother-in-law take Oliver in as their own. Oliver remained silent for a full year in his new home due to gag reflex syndrome. But, then he started talking and he turned out to be an annoying little son of a bitch, plus he was a jinx and brought Carol's sister and her husband nothing but mishaps.

So, after two years with the kid, Oliver's adoptive parents abandoned him in the Brady garage in the dead of night and took off for some archaeological dig. (They were never seen alive again.)

Poor orphaned Oliver awoke in the wee hours, alone and hungry back in his infant resting place and decided to sneak into the Brady home. That's when Alice came out of her room to smoke a joint with Mrs. Brady and they caught Oliver in the kitchen eating the leftover pork chops and applesauce. Well, Alice and Carol told the boy and the Bradys that cousin Oliver's bone-digging parents went on a long vacation and that he would be staying for a while; no one was the wiser. And, that's the way they became the Brady Bunch + 1.

Little Oliver trapped in that dark garage for years is what actually inspired the Brady's hit song "It's a sunshine day". Too bad they didn't keep him in there, the show went to complete shit after he joined.

i think i'll go for a walk outside now
the summer sun's callin my name
(i hear ya now)
i just can't stay inside all day
i gotta get out get me some of those rays
everybody's smilin
sunshine day
everybody's laughin
sunshine day
everybody seems so happy today
it's a sunshine day

I think I'll go for a walk out side now
the summer sun knows me by name
(he's callin me)
I gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get away
I gotta get away, get away, get away, get away...
Into the sunshine day....

[OnBendedKnee]

Whatever you do: Don't Google what Little Oliver looks like today.
(HINT: "Little" is no longer appropriate yet "Olive"r is.)

[Maggot]

I've waited long enough.

Here he is:

[Duchess]

Not so cute these days!

[Maggot]

That kid always reminded me of a mini John Denver.

[HairOfTheDog]

Now that you mention it, he really does look like John Denver's mini-me.