<![CDATA[Mock - FUNNY/WEIRD CRIME STORIES]]> https://mockforums.net/ Thu, 30 Apr 2026 20:28:30 +0000 MyBB <![CDATA[Game of 72]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-12254.html Thu, 10 Dec 2015 06:41:46 +0000 Love Child]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-12254.html
A popular teenage game is called "Game of 72"... Teenagers go missing from family/friends for 72 hrs. They leave cell phns home as they can't have social media contact. Not saying this is what happened, just something to look into!!! I hope she returns safely]]>
A popular teenage game is called "Game of 72"... Teenagers go missing from family/friends for 72 hrs. They leave cell phns home as they can't have social media contact. Not saying this is what happened, just something to look into!!! I hope she returns safely]]> <![CDATA[STOOPID]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-11060.html Thu, 10 Apr 2014 22:14:06 +0000 Duchess]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-11060.html

A Decatur man has been arrested after allegedly showing up for court drunk and fleeing from the courthouse in his truck. Police used a Taser on him at the end of a chase.

James Earl Johnson, 44, had just been sentenced to 60 days in jail for failing to pay fines for a DUI conviction when he fled the courtroom, hopped in his truck and was pursued by police.

Story]]>

A Decatur man has been arrested after allegedly showing up for court drunk and fleeing from the courthouse in his truck. Police used a Taser on him at the end of a chase.

James Earl Johnson, 44, had just been sentenced to 60 days in jail for failing to pay fines for a DUI conviction when he fled the courtroom, hopped in his truck and was pursued by police.

Story]]> <![CDATA[Unexpected 12 Inches during Ménage à trois]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9688.html Sun, 17 Feb 2013 10:17:03 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9688.html Remember, manners count in any situation.....

Orlando DeWitt, North Dakota Man, Stabbed During Threesome After Refusing To Change Positions


A ménage à trois turned into a bordel monstre when a North Dakota man was stabbed after refusing to change positions.

Orlando DeWitt was allegedly stabbed in the arm by Fargo resident Ashley Hunter, whom he had previously met in prison, reports The Smoking Gun. The tryst went down Feb. 8, after the two men left a Fargo bar and went back to Hunter's house for a party.

According to The Smoking Gun, DeWitt told police that he and a female partier began kissing on a couch, when Hunter joined in. The woman “began to perform oral sex on Hunter" while DeWitt had intercourse with her, but when Hunter asked to switch positions DeWitt refused. That is when the threesome took a turn for the worse. Hunter reportedly threatened to “f**k him up” and “kill him," then pulled a 12-inch butcher knife from his couch and stabbed DeWitt twice as he attempted to run away.

North Dakota Fox affiliate KVRR reports that DeWitt ran outside naked and called the police from a cell phone. Police found him bleeding and surrounded the apartment complex at the 700 block on 3rd Street North.

The Entire Story]]> Remember, manners count in any situation.....

Orlando DeWitt, North Dakota Man, Stabbed During Threesome After Refusing To Change Positions


A ménage à trois turned into a bordel monstre when a North Dakota man was stabbed after refusing to change positions.

Orlando DeWitt was allegedly stabbed in the arm by Fargo resident Ashley Hunter, whom he had previously met in prison, reports The Smoking Gun. The tryst went down Feb. 8, after the two men left a Fargo bar and went back to Hunter's house for a party.

According to The Smoking Gun, DeWitt told police that he and a female partier began kissing on a couch, when Hunter joined in. The woman “began to perform oral sex on Hunter" while DeWitt had intercourse with her, but when Hunter asked to switch positions DeWitt refused. That is when the threesome took a turn for the worse. Hunter reportedly threatened to “f**k him up” and “kill him," then pulled a 12-inch butcher knife from his couch and stabbed DeWitt twice as he attempted to run away.

North Dakota Fox affiliate KVRR reports that DeWitt ran outside naked and called the police from a cell phone. Police found him bleeding and surrounded the apartment complex at the 700 block on 3rd Street North.

The Entire Story]]> <![CDATA[Never Do This To The Judge]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9643.html Wed, 06 Feb 2013 12:17:37 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9643.html ]]> ]]> <![CDATA[You're Never Too Old]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9606.html Tue, 29 Jan 2013 01:48:07 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9606.html [Image: r-SYGUN-LIEBHART-large570_zps4841e775.jpg]
Sygun Liebhart, 71, Arrested For Prostitution In Connecticut
By David Lohr HP



Connecticut authorities arrested an elderly woman on prostitution charges following a raid at a Glastonbury hotel.

According to agent James Kennedy of the Glastonbury Police Department, authorities were tipped off to 71-year-old Sygun Liebhart's alleged prostitution activities by an advertisement in the classified section of Backpage.com.

Liebhart, according to police, promoted herself in the escort section of the website under the name "Lola." The ad is now defunct, however a cached version of an ad for a "Lola" who was working in that area at the time reads:

"Older is Better … A well preserved beauty. All natural and busty 38DD. Sexy, fit, warm and friendly."

[Image: slide_277289_2035396_free_zps9bc6a89f.jpg] [Image: slide_277289_2035475_free_zps739a65e4.jpg][Image: slide_277289_2035402_free_zps576a3b51.jpg][Image: slide_277289_2035399_free_zps02cdf759.jpg][Image: slide_277289_2035403_free_zps2f856f81.jpg]]]> [Image: r-SYGUN-LIEBHART-large570_zps4841e775.jpg]
Sygun Liebhart, 71, Arrested For Prostitution In Connecticut
By David Lohr HP



Connecticut authorities arrested an elderly woman on prostitution charges following a raid at a Glastonbury hotel.

According to agent James Kennedy of the Glastonbury Police Department, authorities were tipped off to 71-year-old Sygun Liebhart's alleged prostitution activities by an advertisement in the classified section of Backpage.com.

Liebhart, according to police, promoted herself in the escort section of the website under the name "Lola." The ad is now defunct, however a cached version of an ad for a "Lola" who was working in that area at the time reads:

"Older is Better … A well preserved beauty. All natural and busty 38DD. Sexy, fit, warm and friendly."

[Image: slide_277289_2035396_free_zps9bc6a89f.jpg] [Image: slide_277289_2035475_free_zps739a65e4.jpg][Image: slide_277289_2035402_free_zps576a3b51.jpg][Image: slide_277289_2035399_free_zps02cdf759.jpg][Image: slide_277289_2035403_free_zps2f856f81.jpg]]]> <![CDATA[Snorting Heroin At Applebee's]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9583.html Wed, 23 Jan 2013 22:01:26 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9583.html
Michelle Windgassen Allegedly Snorts Heroin At Applebee's, Accused Of Child Endangerment


Snortin' good in the neighborhood.

Michelle Windgassen, 27, of Louisville, Ky., and her boyfriend, John Lewis, 32, were arrested on charges of endangering a minor while they were under the influence of drugs.

Officers were called to the Applebee's after getting a call about two intoxicated adults, and allegedly found Windgassen in the bathroom snorting heroin, according to WHAS-TV.

She also allegedly had a container with Xanax bars inside her purse.

Police say they found Lewis intoxicated in the driver's seat of his car with a 3-year-old boy in the back seat.

Lewis admitted that he and Windgassen had been with the boy all day, and investigators say he told them that he had also snorted heroin about 2-3 hours before the arrest, according to WDRB-TV.

Along with the child endangerment charge, Windgassen and Lewis were also charged with public intoxication with a controlled substance, according to Geobeats.

[Image: slide_228086_2018255_free_zpsc879437a.jpg]
Michelle Windgassen, 27, and John Lewis, 32, were arrested on charges of endangering a minor while they were under the influence of drugs at a Louisville restaurant. Officers found Windgassen in the bathroom snorting heroin, and Lewis admitted snorting heroin a couple hours earlier
]]>
Michelle Windgassen Allegedly Snorts Heroin At Applebee's, Accused Of Child Endangerment


Snortin' good in the neighborhood.

Michelle Windgassen, 27, of Louisville, Ky., and her boyfriend, John Lewis, 32, were arrested on charges of endangering a minor while they were under the influence of drugs.

Officers were called to the Applebee's after getting a call about two intoxicated adults, and allegedly found Windgassen in the bathroom snorting heroin, according to WHAS-TV.

She also allegedly had a container with Xanax bars inside her purse.

Police say they found Lewis intoxicated in the driver's seat of his car with a 3-year-old boy in the back seat.

Lewis admitted that he and Windgassen had been with the boy all day, and investigators say he told them that he had also snorted heroin about 2-3 hours before the arrest, according to WDRB-TV.

Along with the child endangerment charge, Windgassen and Lewis were also charged with public intoxication with a controlled substance, according to Geobeats.

[Image: slide_228086_2018255_free_zpsc879437a.jpg]
Michelle Windgassen, 27, and John Lewis, 32, were arrested on charges of endangering a minor while they were under the influence of drugs at a Louisville restaurant. Officers found Windgassen in the bathroom snorting heroin, and Lewis admitted snorting heroin a couple hours earlier
]]> <![CDATA[Inmates Strip For Oranges]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9573.html Mon, 21 Jan 2013 11:32:49 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9573.html Nicholas Tankersle Allegedly Forced Female Inmates To Strip In Indiana Jail
Associated Press
[Image: lisademars1173999197.gif][Image: gifpoledanceZer0.gif]

MARTINSVILLE, Ind. -- A central Indiana jail officer has been charged with coaxing female inmates into stripping for him in return for favors.

The Associated Press' phone call to the jail went unanswered Saturday. Tankersley's number was unlisted.

About a dozen women claimed, according to a probable cause affidavit, Tankersley told them he would provide them with extra sheets, oranges, ink pens or other items – in violation of jail rules – if they exposed their breasts or stripped in front of him.

The rest of the story]]> Nicholas Tankersle Allegedly Forced Female Inmates To Strip In Indiana Jail
Associated Press
[Image: lisademars1173999197.gif][Image: gifpoledanceZer0.gif]

MARTINSVILLE, Ind. -- A central Indiana jail officer has been charged with coaxing female inmates into stripping for him in return for favors.

The Associated Press' phone call to the jail went unanswered Saturday. Tankersley's number was unlisted.

About a dozen women claimed, according to a probable cause affidavit, Tankersley told them he would provide them with extra sheets, oranges, ink pens or other items – in violation of jail rules – if they exposed their breasts or stripped in front of him.

The rest of the story]]> <![CDATA[Body Stolen From Detroit Cemetery]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9548.html Wed, 16 Jan 2013 00:52:11 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9548.html [Image: r-BODY-STOLEN-DETROIT-CEMETERY-large570_zps4128f107.jpg]
Authorities say a casket containing the body of 93-year-old Clarence Bright was stolen from Gethsemane Cemetery, seen Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2013 in Detroit. Police say two men have been arrested, including a 48-year-old reported to be the son of the deceased, on suspicion that they stole a Bright's body and casket from the cemetery on Monday. (AP Photo/Ed White)

Body Stolen From Detroit Cemetery, 2 Men Arrested

ASSOCIATED PRESS

DETROIT — A man who was arrested in the theft of his father's corpse from a Detroit cemetery stored the body in a freezer after a weekend funeral, hoping for it to be miraculously resurrected, police said Tuesday.

Clarence Bright's 48-year-old religious son was arrested along with another man after officers found an empty casket inside their van at a gas station, Detroit police said.

"This is a very, very bizarre situation," Leon Jones, a mortician's assistant at Swanson Funeral Home, told The Associated Press. The funeral home handled Bright's funeral.

Bright's final earthly journey was supposed to end Saturday at Gethsemane Cemetery on Detroit's east side, but soggy ground from recent rain postponed the 93-year-old's burial. The casket was placed near a chapel or a mausoleum on cemetery grounds and remained there through Monday morning when it was reported stolen, Jones said.

Acting on a tip that a white van had been seen at the cemetery, police spotted one parked at a gas station Tuesday – the men and the empty casket were inside, Officer George Day said.

The body was later found in a freezer at the home of Bright's son, Lt. Harold Rochon told The Detroit News.

"In the interview with the son, he was very, very, very distraught," Rochon said. "He is very religious, and he was hoping his father would be resurrected. He was hoping for a miracle."

Police declined to release the names of Bright's son or the 38-year-old man who was with him. They had not been charged and the theft remained under investigation.

Across the street from the home where the body was found, 36-year-old Terri Gaines said she didn't have much contact with Bright's son.]]> [Image: r-BODY-STOLEN-DETROIT-CEMETERY-large570_zps4128f107.jpg]
Authorities say a casket containing the body of 93-year-old Clarence Bright was stolen from Gethsemane Cemetery, seen Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2013 in Detroit. Police say two men have been arrested, including a 48-year-old reported to be the son of the deceased, on suspicion that they stole a Bright's body and casket from the cemetery on Monday. (AP Photo/Ed White)

Body Stolen From Detroit Cemetery, 2 Men Arrested

ASSOCIATED PRESS

DETROIT — A man who was arrested in the theft of his father's corpse from a Detroit cemetery stored the body in a freezer after a weekend funeral, hoping for it to be miraculously resurrected, police said Tuesday.

Clarence Bright's 48-year-old religious son was arrested along with another man after officers found an empty casket inside their van at a gas station, Detroit police said.

"This is a very, very bizarre situation," Leon Jones, a mortician's assistant at Swanson Funeral Home, told The Associated Press. The funeral home handled Bright's funeral.

Bright's final earthly journey was supposed to end Saturday at Gethsemane Cemetery on Detroit's east side, but soggy ground from recent rain postponed the 93-year-old's burial. The casket was placed near a chapel or a mausoleum on cemetery grounds and remained there through Monday morning when it was reported stolen, Jones said.

Acting on a tip that a white van had been seen at the cemetery, police spotted one parked at a gas station Tuesday – the men and the empty casket were inside, Officer George Day said.

The body was later found in a freezer at the home of Bright's son, Lt. Harold Rochon told The Detroit News.

"In the interview with the son, he was very, very, very distraught," Rochon said. "He is very religious, and he was hoping his father would be resurrected. He was hoping for a miracle."

Police declined to release the names of Bright's son or the 38-year-old man who was with him. They had not been charged and the theft remained under investigation.

Across the street from the home where the body was found, 36-year-old Terri Gaines said she didn't have much contact with Bright's son.]]> <![CDATA[Hubby Cheats? Poo All Over The House!]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9522.html Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:07:52 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9522.html Brenda Schumann Allegedly Poops On Floor After Finding Husband With Other Woman
Via The Huffington Post
That'll show him. [Image: Poop.gif]

Police say Brenda Schumann, 51, defecated and urinated on the floor, then went on an armed rampage through the house after discovering her husband in bed with another woman, according to a case report obtained by TC Palm.

"I found him in bed with a naked chick what was I supposed to do," she later told a deputy, according to the sheriff's report.

Schumann allegedly stormed into the bedroom other Vero Beach, Fla. home at about 2:30 a.m. on Dec. 21, carrying a rifle and threatening to kill both her 42-year-old husband and his lover. After her husband managed to get the gun away from her he says she urinated on the carpet outside the bedroom before dropping a deuce on the kitchen floor.

She allegedly found a second rifle and began to destroy items around the house, include mirrors, pictures and Christmas decorations. It's unclear whether she was employing the rifle in the destruction. Her husband told deputies that she eventually left the house and drove away, leaving the weapon behind.

The responding deputy tracked down Schumann to another apartment, where she allegedly tried to hold the door shut to prevent him from getting inside. She was charged with aggravated assault/domestic violence, aggravated assault, battery and resisting arrest without violence.

For those somehow unaware that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, one only need look at recent headlines. In November, one jilted lady from the Palm Tree State allegedly broke into her ex-boyfriend's apartment and set fire to his bed -- with him and his new lover in it. In September, a married woman in Florida was involved in a three-way when she allegedly noticed her husband paying a little too much attention to the third party. The argument that followed led to gunfire and a SWAT team surrounding the house.

Here's her pic....Ha, nice caption
[Image: brenda_schumann_mug_front_zps84746524.jpg]
]]> Brenda Schumann Allegedly Poops On Floor After Finding Husband With Other Woman
Via The Huffington Post
That'll show him. [Image: Poop.gif]

Police say Brenda Schumann, 51, defecated and urinated on the floor, then went on an armed rampage through the house after discovering her husband in bed with another woman, according to a case report obtained by TC Palm.

"I found him in bed with a naked chick what was I supposed to do," she later told a deputy, according to the sheriff's report.

Schumann allegedly stormed into the bedroom other Vero Beach, Fla. home at about 2:30 a.m. on Dec. 21, carrying a rifle and threatening to kill both her 42-year-old husband and his lover. After her husband managed to get the gun away from her he says she urinated on the carpet outside the bedroom before dropping a deuce on the kitchen floor.

She allegedly found a second rifle and began to destroy items around the house, include mirrors, pictures and Christmas decorations. It's unclear whether she was employing the rifle in the destruction. Her husband told deputies that she eventually left the house and drove away, leaving the weapon behind.

The responding deputy tracked down Schumann to another apartment, where she allegedly tried to hold the door shut to prevent him from getting inside. She was charged with aggravated assault/domestic violence, aggravated assault, battery and resisting arrest without violence.

For those somehow unaware that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, one only need look at recent headlines. In November, one jilted lady from the Palm Tree State allegedly broke into her ex-boyfriend's apartment and set fire to his bed -- with him and his new lover in it. In September, a married woman in Florida was involved in a three-way when she allegedly noticed her husband paying a little too much attention to the third party. The argument that followed led to gunfire and a SWAT team surrounding the house.

Here's her pic....Ha, nice caption
[Image: brenda_schumann_mug_front_zps84746524.jpg]
]]> <![CDATA[Dumbass Criminal Photos]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9501.html Wed, 02 Jan 2013 18:41:09 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9501.html ]]> ]]> <![CDATA[Dumb Crimes of 2012]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9477.html Thu, 27 Dec 2012 15:40:54 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9477.html
[Image: slide_270302_1892186_free_zps94bc57e9.jpg]

1.) There are some places you just shouldn't hide a weapon. Take it from Michael Leon Ward, who -- despite multiple searches -- managed to sneak a 10-inch gun into a prison last January by concealing it in his rectum. Police in North Carolina found the weapon in a toilet after other inmates reported Ward's extra personal item.

[Image: slide_270302_1893307_free_zps264ec570.jpg]

2.)Man's Penis Stolen By Thieves ~ Ouch! Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China’s Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when thieves broke into his room, put a bag over his head and cut off his penis.

[Image: slide_270302_1893411_free_zpsa3ead69a.jpg]

3.) Sex Doll Saved From Drowning ~ Save the woman! Save that, ohhh. In July, 18 police officers in China's Shandong Province rescued a drowning victim who turned out to be an inflatable sex doll. It took more than 40 minutes before the officers were able to recover the pleasure toy.

[Image: slide_270302_1896941_free_zps025d12ca.jpg]

4.) Naked and Fearless ~Looks cold up there. A very nude Dan Motrescu shocked central London when he mounted the bronze statue of the 19th-century Duke of Cambridge on Nov. 23. It took several hours for officers to talk him down, but once they did, Motrescu was charged with possession of an offensive weapon, criminal damage and a public order offense.

[Image: slide_270302_1896960_free_zps60a6a3d3.jpg]

5.) Officials jailed Coley Mitchell, 32, on August 13 after he was discovered intoxicated with his pants down in a campus locker room. In the same room: two lab monkeys who had been let out of their cages.

[Image: slide_270302_1896983_free_zps56895e71.jpg]

6.) Oil Of Olay Bandit ~Real smooth. Police dubbed 27-year-old Efrain Hardman the "Oil Of Olay Bandit" after he allegedly stole $40,000 worth of skincare products. Staying clean and clear is hard, so Hardman eventually gave up and turned himself in to Texas police.

[Image: slide_270302_1896997_free_zps118f16b6.jpg]

7.) Sweet Justice, Sweet Relief? It's OK to be a little pissed over getting pulled over, but it's never OK to piss on a police car. just ask Roger Alvin Henderson, who can be seen in this priceless screen grab relieving himself on a cruiser after he was pulled over for a tinted window violation.

[Image: slide_270302_1897043_free_zps9876c2df.jpg][Image: 2j44qw1.gif]

8.) Save That Hamster!!! Police placed Nicole Huey's hamster in protective custody after arresting her for a DUI during October. The hamster "was not not using any safety equipment," wrote Officer Mike Rowe in a post, titled "A Hamster Was Taken Into Protective Custody," on the Beaverton Police Department's Facebook page.]]>
[Image: slide_270302_1892186_free_zps94bc57e9.jpg]

1.) There are some places you just shouldn't hide a weapon. Take it from Michael Leon Ward, who -- despite multiple searches -- managed to sneak a 10-inch gun into a prison last January by concealing it in his rectum. Police in North Carolina found the weapon in a toilet after other inmates reported Ward's extra personal item.

[Image: slide_270302_1893307_free_zps264ec570.jpg]

2.)Man's Penis Stolen By Thieves ~ Ouch! Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China’s Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when thieves broke into his room, put a bag over his head and cut off his penis.

[Image: slide_270302_1893411_free_zpsa3ead69a.jpg]

3.) Sex Doll Saved From Drowning ~ Save the woman! Save that, ohhh. In July, 18 police officers in China's Shandong Province rescued a drowning victim who turned out to be an inflatable sex doll. It took more than 40 minutes before the officers were able to recover the pleasure toy.

[Image: slide_270302_1896941_free_zps025d12ca.jpg]

4.) Naked and Fearless ~Looks cold up there. A very nude Dan Motrescu shocked central London when he mounted the bronze statue of the 19th-century Duke of Cambridge on Nov. 23. It took several hours for officers to talk him down, but once they did, Motrescu was charged with possession of an offensive weapon, criminal damage and a public order offense.

[Image: slide_270302_1896960_free_zps60a6a3d3.jpg]

5.) Officials jailed Coley Mitchell, 32, on August 13 after he was discovered intoxicated with his pants down in a campus locker room. In the same room: two lab monkeys who had been let out of their cages.

[Image: slide_270302_1896983_free_zps56895e71.jpg]

6.) Oil Of Olay Bandit ~Real smooth. Police dubbed 27-year-old Efrain Hardman the "Oil Of Olay Bandit" after he allegedly stole $40,000 worth of skincare products. Staying clean and clear is hard, so Hardman eventually gave up and turned himself in to Texas police.

[Image: slide_270302_1896997_free_zps118f16b6.jpg]

7.) Sweet Justice, Sweet Relief? It's OK to be a little pissed over getting pulled over, but it's never OK to piss on a police car. just ask Roger Alvin Henderson, who can be seen in this priceless screen grab relieving himself on a cruiser after he was pulled over for a tinted window violation.

[Image: slide_270302_1897043_free_zps9876c2df.jpg][Image: 2j44qw1.gif]

8.) Save That Hamster!!! Police placed Nicole Huey's hamster in protective custody after arresting her for a DUI during October. The hamster "was not not using any safety equipment," wrote Officer Mike Rowe in a post, titled "A Hamster Was Taken Into Protective Custody," on the Beaverton Police Department's Facebook page.]]> <![CDATA[Woman Runs Over boyfriend, Skins testicles]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9433.html Tue, 18 Dec 2012 14:25:53 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9433.html [Image: testicles.jpg]
Woman Accused Of Running Over Boyfriend, Tearing Skin Off His Testicles

By Morbid

[Image: Christine-A_-Meyers1-125x188_zps1b1b2510.jpg]

Chicago, IL – An woman in Illinois is in jail on an aggravated domestic battery charge after she ran over her boyfriend and burned the skin off his testicles.

Christine Meyers, 23, got into a fight with her boyfriend Friday night after picking him up from a bar. When they got back to their home, her boyfriend got out of the car and, for some unknown reason, laid down in front of it.

Did he pass out? Was he preventing her from leaving? Who knows? What is known is that Meyers took this opportunity to remove some of the balls her boyfriend was displaying by getting in front of a car driven by a woman.

Prosecutors say she did this by intentionally running him over.

The boyfriend was not killed, but for a little while I’m betting he was wished he had been. That’s because aside from the severe burns he suffered to his chest and back, the skin was also burned off his testicles. In case you didn’t know, for a woman, the smell of her man’s testicles sizzling on her car’s exhaust pipe is the smell of victory.

She didn’t come out as victorious in court when her attorney asked Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr. to set Meyers’ bail at $6,000, effectively allowing Meyer’s to get out of jail for $600. “Are you serious?” Bourgeois asked the attorney. “You’re asking me to set a bond of $600 for driving over somebody?” “People argue every day, and they don’t resort to violence,” Bourgeois said before setting Meyers’ bail at $100,000.

Her boyfriend is out of the hospital after having surgery to repair the damage done to his balls, He has left he home and moved in with his mother. Meyers will be back in court Tuesday morning.]]> [Image: testicles.jpg]
Woman Accused Of Running Over Boyfriend, Tearing Skin Off His Testicles

By Morbid

[Image: Christine-A_-Meyers1-125x188_zps1b1b2510.jpg]

Chicago, IL – An woman in Illinois is in jail on an aggravated domestic battery charge after she ran over her boyfriend and burned the skin off his testicles.

Christine Meyers, 23, got into a fight with her boyfriend Friday night after picking him up from a bar. When they got back to their home, her boyfriend got out of the car and, for some unknown reason, laid down in front of it.

Did he pass out? Was he preventing her from leaving? Who knows? What is known is that Meyers took this opportunity to remove some of the balls her boyfriend was displaying by getting in front of a car driven by a woman.

Prosecutors say she did this by intentionally running him over.

The boyfriend was not killed, but for a little while I’m betting he was wished he had been. That’s because aside from the severe burns he suffered to his chest and back, the skin was also burned off his testicles. In case you didn’t know, for a woman, the smell of her man’s testicles sizzling on her car’s exhaust pipe is the smell of victory.

She didn’t come out as victorious in court when her attorney asked Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr. to set Meyers’ bail at $6,000, effectively allowing Meyer’s to get out of jail for $600. “Are you serious?” Bourgeois asked the attorney. “You’re asking me to set a bond of $600 for driving over somebody?” “People argue every day, and they don’t resort to violence,” Bourgeois said before setting Meyers’ bail at $100,000.

Her boyfriend is out of the hospital after having surgery to repair the damage done to his balls, He has left he home and moved in with his mother. Meyers will be back in court Tuesday morning.]]> <![CDATA[Man Beats Girlfriend Over Kool Aid]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9432.html Tue, 18 Dec 2012 14:20:10 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9432.html [Image: Kool-Aid.gif]


[Image: Robert-Joseph-Atkins-125x188_zpsa7ba9084.jpg]
Man Accused Of Beating Ex After She Refused To Make Him Kool-Aid


Knoxville, TN — Robert Atkins, 31, is facing a whole slew of charges after allegedly roughing up his ex-girlfriend/baby mamma and taking off with her infant because she refused to make him some Kool-Aid.

Atkins apparently showed up at the woman’s house in the early morning hours of December 10. Because a restraining order was in place, the woman pleaded with Atkins’ ride to take him away… she didn’t want him there. Atkins, apparently unfazed by a piece of paper that says where he can and can’t be, refused to leave.

I’m assuming he entered the woman’s home and made himself comfortable. Around 4:30 that morning, he demanded the woman whip him up a batch of Kool-Aid. When she refused, Atkins reportedly attacked, hitting the woman in the face. The woman tried to escape into the bathroom, but Atkins followed and continued to assault her.

The woman told police Atkins took her keys and cellphone and placed a couch in front of the front door. She said she contemplated sneaking out a bedroom window, but Atkins had their 3-month-old son.

He later let the woman leave the house after she claimed she was going to go next door and fetch him a cigarette. She called for help from a neighbor’s home.

When police arrived at the home, Atkins and the baby were gone. Seems he had jumped out of the bedroom window and disappeared with the child. The woman informed police Atkins had an acquaintance in the neighborhood, and when police paid a visit to the acquaintance’s apartment, they found Atkins hiding in the bathroom with the child.

Atkins is being held in lieu of $300,000 bail, and is facing charges of aggravated kidnapping, domestic assault and violating a protection order.

Lucky him! He can have all the orange flavored powdered drink mix he can handle now. And bologna. Hope he likes bologna.]]> [Image: Kool-Aid.gif]


[Image: Robert-Joseph-Atkins-125x188_zpsa7ba9084.jpg]
Man Accused Of Beating Ex After She Refused To Make Him Kool-Aid


Knoxville, TN — Robert Atkins, 31, is facing a whole slew of charges after allegedly roughing up his ex-girlfriend/baby mamma and taking off with her infant because she refused to make him some Kool-Aid.

Atkins apparently showed up at the woman’s house in the early morning hours of December 10. Because a restraining order was in place, the woman pleaded with Atkins’ ride to take him away… she didn’t want him there. Atkins, apparently unfazed by a piece of paper that says where he can and can’t be, refused to leave.

I’m assuming he entered the woman’s home and made himself comfortable. Around 4:30 that morning, he demanded the woman whip him up a batch of Kool-Aid. When she refused, Atkins reportedly attacked, hitting the woman in the face. The woman tried to escape into the bathroom, but Atkins followed and continued to assault her.

The woman told police Atkins took her keys and cellphone and placed a couch in front of the front door. She said she contemplated sneaking out a bedroom window, but Atkins had their 3-month-old son.

He later let the woman leave the house after she claimed she was going to go next door and fetch him a cigarette. She called for help from a neighbor’s home.

When police arrived at the home, Atkins and the baby were gone. Seems he had jumped out of the bedroom window and disappeared with the child. The woman informed police Atkins had an acquaintance in the neighborhood, and when police paid a visit to the acquaintance’s apartment, they found Atkins hiding in the bathroom with the child.

Atkins is being held in lieu of $300,000 bail, and is facing charges of aggravated kidnapping, domestic assault and violating a protection order.

Lucky him! He can have all the orange flavored powdered drink mix he can handle now. And bologna. Hope he likes bologna.]]> <![CDATA[Glue-Some Discovery]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9406.html Tue, 11 Dec 2012 22:03:02 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9406.html [Image: mechandise.jpg]
Glue-some Discovery: Dennis Homberg Allegedly Broke Into Ex-Girlfriends Home, Glued Refrigerator Shut
By David Lohr

A Pennsylvania woman recently made a glue-some discovery inside her apartment, according to state police.

The woman, an unidentified resident of Lykens, a borough about 35 miles northeast Harrisburg, contacted police on Nov. 12 and reported someone had broken into her Main Street apartment when she was not home.

Worse yet, the perpetrator had glued shut her refrigerator door and a utensil drawer. Glue had also been poured on her computer keyboard, the woman alleged.

Authorities soon focused their attention on the woman's ex-boyfriend, 42-year-old Dennis Michael Homberg, of Elizabethville.

Police have yet to reveal what, if any, evidence they found linking Homberg to the sticky situation. Nevertheless, he was charged Monday with burglary, trespassing, stalking and criminal mischief.

Homberg is being held in the Dauphin County Prison, pending arraignment before the office of Magisterial District Judge Rebecca J. Margerum in Elizabethville, police said.]]> [Image: mechandise.jpg]
Glue-some Discovery: Dennis Homberg Allegedly Broke Into Ex-Girlfriends Home, Glued Refrigerator Shut
By David Lohr

A Pennsylvania woman recently made a glue-some discovery inside her apartment, according to state police.

The woman, an unidentified resident of Lykens, a borough about 35 miles northeast Harrisburg, contacted police on Nov. 12 and reported someone had broken into her Main Street apartment when she was not home.

Worse yet, the perpetrator had glued shut her refrigerator door and a utensil drawer. Glue had also been poured on her computer keyboard, the woman alleged.

Authorities soon focused their attention on the woman's ex-boyfriend, 42-year-old Dennis Michael Homberg, of Elizabethville.

Police have yet to reveal what, if any, evidence they found linking Homberg to the sticky situation. Nevertheless, he was charged Monday with burglary, trespassing, stalking and criminal mischief.

Homberg is being held in the Dauphin County Prison, pending arraignment before the office of Magisterial District Judge Rebecca J. Margerum in Elizabethville, police said.]]> <![CDATA[Dumbest Criminal Of 2012]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9377.html Sat, 08 Dec 2012 20:55:48 +0000 Sphincter Cop]]> https://mockforums.net/thread-9377.html
Girl Arrested After Bragging About Robbing Bank, Stealing Car in Youtube Video

December 4, 2012 11:55 AM By Nastacia Leshchinskaya

In a video titled “Chick Bank Robber,” 19-year-old Hannah Sabata of York, Neb. brags, “My new car is shiny. Of course I took the plates off already.” That’s a nice precaution to take after stealing a Pontiac Grand Am, but posting a Youtube video about it is probably not the greatest move. In a series of hand-written signs, Sabata continues her story: “then I robbed a bank with a gun, a pillow case and a note.” She then shows off a stack of cash, roughly $6,000. She says she plans to use the money to pay off her student loans and go on a shopping spree.

Sabata’s clothes in the video matched the clothing worn by a young woman caught on surveillance tape robbing a bank in Waco. Coincidentally, Sabata was still wearing the same pink striped t-shirt at the time of her arrest.




Congrats Dumbass!

[Image: hannah-sabata-150x150.jpg]
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Girl Arrested After Bragging About Robbing Bank, Stealing Car in Youtube Video

December 4, 2012 11:55 AM By Nastacia Leshchinskaya

In a video titled “Chick Bank Robber,” 19-year-old Hannah Sabata of York, Neb. brags, “My new car is shiny. Of course I took the plates off already.” That’s a nice precaution to take after stealing a Pontiac Grand Am, but posting a Youtube video about it is probably not the greatest move. In a series of hand-written signs, Sabata continues her story: “then I robbed a bank with a gun, a pillow case and a note.” She then shows off a stack of cash, roughly $6,000. She says she plans to use the money to pay off her student loans and go on a shopping spree.

Sabata’s clothes in the video matched the clothing worn by a young woman caught on surveillance tape robbing a bank in Waco. Coincidentally, Sabata was still wearing the same pink striped t-shirt at the time of her arrest.




Congrats Dumbass!

[Image: hannah-sabata-150x150.jpg]
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