Jokes I like

[sally]

Did Cinnamon's wife tell you about the time she went fishing with four of his mates. She came back with a big red snapper.

[sally]

When Cinnamon Nutmeg was just a little girl, she asked her mother what she will be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to her:












You're a boy you daft bugger, now get out of your sisters clothes and piss off to school!

[Clang McFly]

Roflmao!

[FAHQTOO]

Finally...some funny stuff.

[Teacher]

When I first noticed that my penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, I was delighted, as was my wife.

But...after several weeks, my penis had grown fifty centimeters (over 19 inches).

I became quite concerned. I was having problems dressing, and even walking.

So the wife and I went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained to us that, though rare, my condition (Donkey Doodle)
could be fixed through corrective surgery.

"How long will he be on crutches?" my wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.



"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?

[Duchess]

Donkey Doodle.

[HairOfTheDog]

I like that one, Teacher.

Picturing nrkerr axniously scouring WebMD for the causes of Donkey Doodle - hoping it can be intentionally inflicted. Her lucky husband better start sleeping with one eye open.

[Maggot]

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning:

"Windows frozen."

Husband texts back:
"Pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer completely fucked now."

[Blindgreed1]

Finally...some funny stuff.

Tough crowd, and although I do respect Donovan, those are pretty old.

[sally]

Mine were funny.

[FAHQTOO]

Mine were funny.

Everybodys were funny except for CNs.

[Clang McFly]

Mine were funny.

Everybodys were funny except for CNs.

at the risk of inflating his already oversized ego, I disagree. I painfully admit I liked some of CN's jokes.

[FAHQTOO]

Mine were funny.

Everybodys were funny except for CNs.

at the risk of inflating his already oversized ego, I disagree. I painfully admit I liked some of CN's jokes.

The ones at the begging of the thread? Really?

[Clang McFly]

Mine were funny.

Everybodys were funny except for CNs.

at the risk of inflating his already oversized ego, I disagree. I painfully admit I liked some of CN's jokes.

The ones at the begging of the thread? Really?

. Yes. Everyone should learn to laugh at themselves. Clang is fat. Lol. So cheesy and lame the joke is funny.

[Blindgreed1]

Mine were funny.

Everybodys were funny except for CNs.

at the risk of inflating his already oversized ego, I disagree. I painfully admit I liked some of CN's jokes.

The ones at the begging of the thread? Really?

I guess I misinterpreted what you meant. I didn't care much for the cheese either.

[Teacher]

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads.

Q: Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens ? A: Nudity

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor!

[Blindgreed1]

Bill Clinton…
Started jogging near his
new home in Chappaqua, New York.

But on each run he happened to jog
past a hooker standing on the same
street corner, day after day.
With some apprehension he would brace
himself as he approached her for what
was most certainly to follow.

"Fifty dollars!" she would cry
out from the curb.

"No, Five dollars!"
fired back Clinton.

This ritual between Bill and the
hooker continued for days.

He'd run by and she'd yell,
"Fifty dollars!"

And he'd yell back,
"Five dollars!"

One day however,
Hillary decided that she
wanted to accompany her
husband on his jog!

As the jogging couple neared the problematic
street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would
bark her $50 offer and Hillary would
wonder what he'd really
been doing on all his past outings.

He realized he should have a
darn good explanation
for the Secretary of State.

As they jogged into the turn that would
take them past the corner,
Bill became even more apprehensive
than usual.

Sure enough,
there was the hooker!

Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes
as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from the sidewalk,
the hooker yelled...
“See what you get for five bucks!?"