not dead

[aussiefriend]

I thought Clang was in jail, yes I did. Glad you are alive and kicking Dono. Hope the girlfriend situation is working for you. Relationships are hard.

[Donovan]

Sally, there was a time when Pop was responsible for not making me dead and he managed to not make me dead. For that obligation I return the favor, nothing more. Pop was and is a horrible person but I am not, and I had to at least see to his welfare for the end of his days. Doesn't make it a pleasant task.

After all the aggravation it came down to a basic kidnapping. Pop pushed himself too hard thinking (via steroids) he was all better, and when they wore off he got an infection from the filth and wandered into the cancer clinic several hours early for his appt. They called me. So I show up to find he's running a fever and has antibiotics and fluids being given. I stole his truck keys, drove back to my mom's grabbed my shit, told them to hide the truck, and went and grabbed his few valuables and the yap dogs. When he was done I told him he was coming with me and we were going to Missouri tonight, no questions. He could barely walk let alone argue so off we went.

Cancer is all through him but not in his marrow. So it's treatable but the prognosis is iffy. But at least I got him to my older sisters house, a trained nurse and professional no- nonsense health aide who will take the reins. And no bullshit. He's pissed I left the gun behind, raggedy little .22. And pissed we hid the truck. And bitching about pretty much everything. But after tomorrow morning, no longer my problem.

[aussiefriend]

That's weird Dono, I am currently in a similar situation with a family member, and that's what it feels like, kidnapping, but you're not, you want them to have the best quality of life they can till the end. I wonder if you have other family members involved? I have one in particular who could financially abuse this family member and I am trying to stop that.

[Maggot]

Financial abuse..............That's a new one.

[Donovan]

Well that took an interesting turn. I took him to Missouri, we got him situated, my sister took him and bought new comfortable clothes and a new phone, got him set up with a new doctor and appointments and dish network etc. I took two of the rat dogs with me, my brother liquidated the trailer and cleaned up his hovel and truck. I drove 16 hours to get home only to find Pop had wandered across the street, accused my sister of abusing him, bribed a,dude to give him a ride into town, and left all his meds and papers and stuff behind.

So Pop is now wandering and feverish with his remaining rat dog, having enraged the last remaining family member who give a crap about his welfare. Had to call police departments in three different towns to put out welfare check apb's but mostly everyone is just fed up having wasted so much time and money on the old bastard. Fucking spent my Christmas money going down there to sort the old son of a bitch out.

So I guess dying of secondary infection in a mess of his own filth is the backup plan. Pretty sure my sister would volunteer to kill him herself at this point. 24 hours to total furious rage gotta be a new record.

[sally]

I've found that it's easier to just laugh about it than get mad about it. My husband's dad sounds very similar to your dad, the guy is and always has been a fucking nut. Like you said, the only thing he's ever done was managed to not make my husband dead when he was a kid, and a lot of that was probably just luck. But we laugh about it.

[Donovan]

Yeah that's what I do mostly, the only reason I am annoyed this time is all the time and effort and money we spent getting him into a safe environment for treatment. Do you know how many couch cushions I had to dig through just to finance that trip? Hell, I was breaking into people's houses to check THEIR couches.
Meanwhile, one of the funniest parts is that he has apparently contacted my brother to tell him he is going back to Denver to live with an old family friend. Unfortunately, this same family friend is the guy pop stole thousands of dollars in high grade marching powder from many years ago, leaving him on the hook to some very very bad men. And at the same time Pop was indebted to a different set of bad men for a different sum of thousands in exchange for hospital bills they paid to keep my brother alive. In 30 years the one place pop never dared go back to, and strongly cautioned us boys against, was Denver. So Pop is either completely out of his head or he's committing suicide by mobster. Unbelievable.

[Donovan]

Update: Pop wound up back in Kansas and sleeping in his truck, tried to get back in with his doctor who finally saw what we had tried to tell him that Pop is not right in his head. So he refused to see him as a patient unless he went into assisted living and they are helping him with that transition. He's about to find out I really did set him up with the least invasive option the first time. Those state people will lock his dumb ass down.

Meanwhile little brother has decided to scrap his marriage and stay in Hutchinson because his final appeal for disability got denied. Broke up with his woman via facebook messenger. Class act.

[Donovan]

update redux: So after a week of bouncing around Hutchinson pop tried to get treatment from the original cancer doc, only to be refused unless he went into assisted housing. He decided to go into a home, got all the way up to day of entry, then backed out and changed his mind. He burned his last favor with his so-called buddy in Hutch by asking the guy to come get him in Missouri, so he announced to my little brother who is still in Kansas he was not going to take any treatments and was leaving town to go south or someplace warm and let the chips fall as they might.

Two days later I get a call saying he is back in Missouri living with my sister. Yeah, the same one he claimed kidnapped and abused him. Both of them pretending like it never happened.

Meanwhile, my baby brother decided at 44 years old that his life was not where it should be at that age, so he broke up with his wife of 22 years via facebook messenger, wrote a dear john letter to all his kids essentially blaming her for how badly their marriage and lives have sucked for two decades, and announced his intent to stay in Kansas...living in my mother's basement. So basically, my brother is that generic guy EVERYone makes fun of on the internet. On purpose.

Have I beat out Ramsey's inlaws for psycho fucking family of the year? Because I got more.

[ramseycat]

Dayum. I'm not sure who's the winner here in the fucked up family game. But do go on...

[Donovan]

It will all be in the book. We got alcoholism, drug abuse. Gambling, porn, abuse or about seven different types, theft. Murder...you name it,

[Maggot]

Cannibalism would be cool a hickey doesn't count.

[Donovan]

No cannibalism that was ever revealed to me, but there was definitely some food consumed I wouldn't dare ask too many questions about.

[username]

Damn. This DOES read like book material. I hope your dad stays put and your sister-in-law de-friends your brother immediately.

I've had drama recently trying to help someone who is so entirely fucked up, she doesn't have any clue about making a good decision. None. After 10 days of this (putting her up in a hotel for awhile etc) I've sort of had it up to HERE with it. She keeps returning to stupid land...I can't fix her.