The 2013 Trivial, Boring Drivel Thread....

[Maggot]

I would trade a skunk for a possum any day, at least you can trap them.

[Duchess]

We woke up one morning & found a baby possum floating around the pool on the pool chaise. Not kidding.

[Maggot]

We woke up one morning & found a baby possum floating around the pool on the pool chaise. Not kidding.

I found a skunk..........Oh lord wont you buy me a possum instead,
I don't even care if its black brown or red,
Its skunks that I find in the pool floating dead
so lord wont you buy me a possum instead.

[HairOfTheDog]

I will never mock you regarding your irritable critter syndrome again, Maggot.

'Effin things. A skunk taking up residence in the garage would be even worse than the possum, I'm sure.

Now, I'm gonna put on some Janis and wait for it to get darker. Then, I'm gonna try to work on my email in the dark garage, with the door cracked a bit and some food in the driveway. Hoping the little asshole takes the bait and hits the pavement.

[sally]

By the way dipshits, it's an opossum. And I hope he's one of the very rare that carries rabies.

[HairOfTheDog]

I'm not gonna try to bash his head in with the broom, or pet him, or get up in his creepy "o" face or anything.

So, he's not gonna have a chance to bite me.

I just want him gone, as much for his sake as mine.

He'll starve in there if he doesn't make a run for it - there was only one bag with any empty food containers in the garage, the rest is just old household crap.

If he doesn't take the bait tonight, he's stuck til Saturday morning. I know he'll leave once when the junk is being hauled - there won't be anywhere left to hide.

Little rabies carrier will be history soon enough...

[sally]

I think he would appreciate some peanut butter and water. What's it going to hurt until Saturday, really? It's not like he or she is a pregnant rat and will infest your house.

[HairOfTheDog]

I don't have any peanut butter here.

But, my niece made a little plate with some sliced turkey and cat food (she came with 2 crazy cats, probably worse than the damn possum). I'll put some water in the driveway as part of the bait too.

If he doesn't scram tonight, I'll move the bait into the garage when I go to bed so he doesn't die in there - it's only for a couple of days.

Shit. If I end up with a pet possum taking over my garage, I'm gonna be pissed.

[sally]

Do you have any other pets? If not I would keep him out there, they become friendly after a while and are happy with nuts, berries and crickets. Eventually you can even train them to jump in your lap when called, if they're not the star of the party I don't know who is.

[HairOfTheDog]

I've now got two crazy cats - Latte and Jay.

But, no worries about a pet possum anymore. He's gone.

I put the turkey behind the washer with a plastic bag and a little bit of cat food at the bottom and worked in the room off the garage.

Heard the bag crumple about an hour later and we put the cat carrier open, facing the only way he could get in and out of there.

I felt bad for him (kinda) when I was poking him with a broomstick from on top of the washer. Little bastard scurried into the carrier and we put him in the backyard with the carrier door open (and the turkey and water just outside it, I swear).

He didn't come out for at least 30 minutes, probably scared shitless.

Now he's free, most of the turkey was still there when I brought the carrier in, and I'm going to bed.

[Duchess]

By the way dipshits, it's an opossum.

No shit, Sherlock.

[Maggot]

Good morning knee scrapers!!! I hope your day is full of joy and happiness beating on the dregs of society and pitiful pukes and punks that cross your path. May God have mercy on their painfully useless lives.

[username]

Maybe you could put up a sign, HotD.

[username]

My daughter's therapist is a stupid fucking twat and fired. I called and asked her for a couple of sedatives for my daughter for a specific, one time event where I expect my daughter to have a panic attack. Her response? No, not really comfortable with that; they might be sedating.

No.fucking.shit.

My husband tested for and received his brown belt in karate this past weekend. I should have him punch the therapist in her fat, wobbly neck.

[HairOfTheDog]

Maybe you could put up a sign, HotD.

Nope, he's free and I'm free of him.

We've parted ways and nobody got hurt. Clean break.

He's probably making himself comfortable in somebody else's garage, waiting for deli turkey or peanut butter and a nice bowl of water to be served up.

P.s. My niece really loves animals and used to take all kinds in before she moved here. Felt like it was two against one, until Mr. Possum started hissing and baring some teeth last night; she came to her senses and got on my side real quick.

[sally]

I really hate when change falls out of my pocket when I'm going to pee.

[Cynical Ninja]

Just had a look at “opossum” on google images. They seem to have an almost evil glint in their eye a look that says “yes I will bite you”.

[ramseycat]

We have no hot water. Fab. The plumber is coning out to fix the boiler. It's going to cost a small fortune. Sigh....

[username]

We have no hot water. Fab. The plumber is coning out to fix the boiler. It's going to cost a small fortune. Sigh....

Did you check the pilot light, wingnut? In our area the utility company will come and check the water heater for free and (hint) they'll do it really fucking fast if you tell them you *might* smell gas.

[Duchess]

Jeezus Ramsey. How long before you get outta Dodge? That black cloud hadn't better follow you south.