KNOCK KNOCK

[Donovan]

Ireland is our bitch it has been for certuries and continues to do so. We nicked their potatoes and nicked the north east section of their country because the fenians got uppity and despite all their cowardly bombs and ambushes it remains part of the UK and always will. We basically told the IRA to shut the fuck up and put the guns and bombs down you aren't getting a united Ireland and they did because the bog trotters know they are Britains bitch and always will be.

You mean the Ireland who staged the only successful twentieth century war for independence against your lot? Those bitches? Seems to me a war where you lose a chunk of your "history's greatest empire" is not a victory but a loss.

As for the Zulus?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Rorke's_Drift

11 Victoria crosses awarded for that one battle and Victoria crosses aren't handed out like free gifts in a kids cereal box like the crappy purple heart.

Let's see. You're bragging that the regular army of the "greatest empire in history" went up against a bunch of half naked bushmen who carried two-foot spears and only managed what even wikipedia calls a "tactical victory." Know what "tactical victory" means? It means they didn't exactly get massacred, but they didn't whomp all kinds of ass. As opposed to "decisive victory" which means pretty much total annihilation, such as
The Battle of Isandlwana
where the Zulus ate the technologically superior English forces for lunch and crapped pieces of them in their stool for weeks afterward.

Whooooops, heh heh heh. So much for English Might. Unless you meant "English might get their asses handed to them".

Again.

Wonder if Queen Mum gave out any medals for "jolly good try poor dead chaps".