RE: the 2016 trivial drivel thread

[Donovan]

You do know that going to a strip bar isn't all about the girls, right? Its fun to hang out and bullshit at one , just like you da a regular bar and in some cases its less expensive.

The strip bar that is close to my house is a BYOB bar. $10 cover charge and that's it. So its actually saving me money by going there instead of a regular bar. Titty bar 10 bucks at the door and 20 bucks for a 30 pack of beer. So $30 total. My bar, no cover charge, but $2.75 a beer x 30 beers , total $82.50 . So that means I can throw 52 bucks at the girls and still break even. That's means I get to see 104 NIPPLES for free !

Maybe in your neighborhood, but up here the costs of going to a titty bar are frequently more expensive when you factor in covers, tips, and the ultra expensive drinks. Under certain conditions, tittie bars that offer full or nearly full nudity can't even serve alcohol, so we get the privilege of overpriced juice.

Here's my problem with titty bars in a nutshell.
1. I have multiple family members from several generations who worked the stage. That means whenever I go to a titty bar I automatically see someone's sister, niece, daughter, mother up there. Instant boner kill.
2. All those relatives told stories, which means I know going in these girls are playing me to get a dollar or twenty off me and are genuinely jaded and mercenary. It destroys the fantasy of actually thinking some hot young nekkid girl actually really does want to grind my denims all evening.
3.I Fucking hate drunks. Seriously. The most obnoxious collective group of humans on the planet. And all of them tend to go hang out in titty bars where they can bullshit. Between them and the pathetic bastards sitting up by the stage dispensing dollars like glazed over automatons, the whole scene is depressing as fuck.
4. There's this thing called the internet where for forty bucks a month I can see unlimited nipples. Fucking nipplepalooza. Of every type and tenor. And all those millions of titties will give me exactly as much action as the couple dozen on stage will. Plus, I'm allowed to take off my pants and jack it. Err, jacket.

So there you have it.
You can keep the titty bars.

Strip bars have a peculiar odor, like a mix of stale beer, stale cigars and rancid pussy. I'm going to make a candle called "strip club" and try to sell it to Yankee Candles.

And desperation. That's the odor you can't identify. Like a mix of old sweat, salty tears and cheetohs.