Santa letters

[Clang McFly]

Here's a few Santa letters I wrote that didn't work. I am working on a nicer one because that fat bitch refuses to do my bidding.

Dear Santa
This is all I want for Christmas One big assed T.V. I want the biggest baddest most technically complicated mother fuckin one your fat ass can fit in that fucking sleigh of yours. I want you to throw every fucking toy out and put that bad assed tele in your goddamn trunk homey. Thats right bitch. I've shot one of your fucking reindeer fatman, and I'm not a fuckin afraid of taking out another. Dasher is dead get over it and get your red suited hairy face and my T.V. down my carbon spitting love tunnel. Now I know you will not have all your fucking pistons firing on your lame assed shitbox but who the fuck cares you useless bastard! To fucking bad, everyone has problems. If your only gonna work one day a year my fucking heart bleeds piss for ya.

Merry Christmas

Maggot


here's the one from the next year..........

Dear Santa

Well here we are again the Christmas season and I'm sure you are thinking of new ways to fuck me. Yeah thats right, you skipped me last year and gave that fat bastard up the road a new snowblower and yes I was surprised when he came out this spring with the new riding lawnmower that you gave him. Like that fat fuck needs one! So this year I will try another approach, if you hav'nt noticed yet I have a few of your little french ticklers you call "elves" Yup, I found a few in the woods this year and "invited" them over for some fucking "cookies". So here we go ......This year I want one of those Wii things, ya know, the stupid electronic gizmos you gave everyone last year. Wilbur the elf is great target practice nailed on a board you can almost hear him scream from across the field. So if you want the little bastard back, get your red ass over here and drop off one of those game things, or the next time you see Mrs Clause it will be in a mexican porn flick with the other elf that still has his pointy godamn feet attached. And on your way past Clangs house toss one of them hungry polar bears on his roof. 

Merry Christmas
Love
Maggot


Whats in your holiday stocking?

Thanks Fraggot. Me and the polar bear are drinking Diet Cokes together while playing Texas,Hold em.