MAKE A MOCK MATCH

[Clang McFly]

I think he said he was going to do it slowly by going on a diet of crispy chicken skin and steak fat. It's probably going to take a few years.

If a steady 2 year diet of McD's and Taco Bell didn't do it I doubt anything will. I think I may be immortal.

I told you that you needed a deep fat fryer. Deep fry the shit out of everything from doughnuts to bacon. You can also lace your food with just a tiny bit of rat poison to speed up the process.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, I'm here if you need me.

I used to use my mom's deep fat fryer mostly for fries but my mom didn't like all the grease and steam residue the fryer would leave on her kitchen counter and the cabinets above. So until I move out and buy my own, no deep fat frying for me. She is thinking about buying ice cream maker though, so that might help. I think that might raise my mom's suspicion if I ask to buy rat poison. I think there might be some old rat poison around somewhere. Its a few years old though so it might not be as effective. Maybe I'll try drinking the bottle of winshield washer fluid out in my car and/or some bleach from the laundry room. They won't raise suspicion if I sneak them into my room and shut the door. I'm also going to shove the vaccum cleaner hose up my ass and see if the suction will rupture something and I can bleed out my ass and die.