MAKE A MOCK MATCH

[Mohammed]

You can never go wrong with olive oil.

Let's get out of the boat and into the kitchen though; oil and water truly don't mix.

I understand that olive oil and Hungarian sausage, on the other hand, compliment each other exquisitely. Is that true?

How would you handle and serve Hungarian sausage to create the most satisfying and mouth-watering experience for a carnivorous American woman who happened to wander into your place?

P.s. Seriously, what's your best sausage dish; something you'd serve to your friends (and virtual foes) here at Mock if we all showed up at your establishment?

There we are talking about swimming and its positive effects on glutes, and here she comes asking for a favourite Hungarian sausage recipe! Is it any wonder that everybody just loves her?!

Hungarian sausage and Olive Oil complement each other as much as Prince Charles and nipple clamps. Sure, it might happen, but it would just look really distasteful! Just like Hungarian Sausage and Olive Oil.

Hungarian Sausages are famous for one thing. Salami. Pick or Herz. Each one awesome. But the typical Hungarian Sausage, well, is a bit of a dry thing with a lot of Paprika. The smoked Spanish one goes well with Olive Oil, hence Chorizo Sausages. But Hungaria? No Olives there for miles!

But plenty of Pork. Which is why most of Hungarian cooking uses Lard. Goulash? Lard. Poerkoelt? Lard. Lubricant? Lard!

My favourite sausage dishes.

Char Kway Teow. A Chinese noodle dish, broad rice noodles, with Lap Cheong. A sweetish Chinese sausage. Awesome as a hangover dish!

Boerewors. A huge South African fresh sausage with quite a bit of Cloves as seasoning. You chuck it on the BBQ or Brai, as they call it in SA, and again, awesome for the morning after.

Choucroute. Braise that Sauerkraut with all the Pork products and smoked Sausages. Fuck yeah, add some beers and perfect as a hell of a hangover dish.

Thueringer, Nuernberger, any kind of good ole German Bratwurst. Best with Loewensenf. The Wasabi of Mustards.

Did you ever try real Spanish Ham? Jamon Iberico? One that mentions Bellota (Acorns) and Pata Negra? Forget about Sausages, a slice of that, and you'll cream your panties!

Trust me, I did.