11 Extremely Important Facts about Farts
#1
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Flatulence is a part of nature. Everyone from Queen Elizabeth to the family dog farts. However natural this behavior is, there are still some important facts you should know about farting.


What Is in a Fart?

A fart is composed of five major ingredients, and less than one percent hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans. The composition of a fart is 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane, and 4 percent oxygen.


Why Do Some Farts Smell Worse Than Others?
Sulfur causes the smell produced when farting. The more sulfur that is present in the diet, the more smelly the flatulence. Some common foods that include sulfur include cabbage, beans, eggs, and cheese.



Why Are Some Farts Louder Than Others?

There are a few different factors that affect the noise produced by flatulence. This includes the tightness of the sphincter, the amount of gas, and the force behind the fart.


Can Farts Be Lit on Fire?

While lighting farts on fire may seem like a cool party trick, it is quite dangerous. The methane and hydrogen found in a fart makes it very flammable.



How Often Do People Fart?

We know everyone farts, but how often? While many women will not admit to it, most individuals experience flatulence at least 14 times each day.


Is There Any Way to Prevent Flatulence?

Flatulence is both natural and unavoidable. Corpses even have flatulence for up to three hours after death.


What Happens to Someone Holding in a Fart?

Some people are not comfortable with flatulence. If they hold this in all day, the body will release the gas once the muscles relax. This often happens during sleep.



Do All Cultures Disapprove of Flatulence in Public?

There are some cultures that do not only accept farting, but enjoy it. For example, the Indian tribe Yanomami from South America actually uses flatulence as a way of saying hello.


Is Holding in Farts Bad for Health?

There are disagreements on whether or not holding in flatulence is actually harmful. Some say it cannot hurt, because it is part of a natural process. Others say holding in farts can cause bloating, hemorrhoids, and other uncomfortable symptoms



How Fast Does Flatulence Leave the Body?

Flatulence travels at speeds of up to ten miles per hour. The speed of a fart depends on the amount of pressure built up behind it.



What Species Farts the Most?

Surprisingly, termites fart more than any other species. Termite flatulence is the second largest natural source of methane emissions, measuring between 2 and 22 Teragrams each year.



What Other Species Fart?

The top ten farting animals are the following:
1. Termites - 2. Camels - 3. Zebras - 4. Sheep - 5. Cows - 6. Elephants - 7. Dogs - 8. Humans - 9. Gerbils
I would like a new sig line, but am not sure what it should be. So I will just put a tag that says "This space for rent"
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#2
This is good news for MS, he can now blame his farts on a termite infestation.
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#3
(11-12-2014, 12:55 PM)sally Wrote: This is good news for MS, he can now blame his farts on a termite infestation.

Or infiltrate the Yanomami in South America and be hailed the friendliest guy in the tribe.
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#4
Another option would be to hold a lighter to a particularly bad one and blow himself up.
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#5
I actually read a book on the Yanomamo and did a case study. I don't think the culture and customs of a barely sedentary people who marry their daughters off at age 11 really need to be infiltrated and aspired to assimilate.

ETA: Now that I think about it... I had to take a test on those fuckers on St. Patrick's Day. I was drunk as a skunk. We went to the bar at 6am.
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#6
If MS isn't ready to die in a flatulent ball of flames just yet, maybe he could adopt a pet gerbil in the meantime?

He'd need to keep it in his back pocket at all times and force it to eat all the same foods as he does.

Then, he could blame his own excessive flatulence on poor little Tooters and nobody would be the wiser. Plus, MS wouldn't have to try to hold it in on the elevator any longer, which might improve his health.
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#7
Also handy for sex. Don't freak honey, it was just the gerbil.
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#8
(11-12-2014, 03:51 PM)sally Wrote: Also handy for sex. Don't freak honey, it was just the gerbil.

That's true.

I've fallen for that same line myself -- there was no flatulence involved though.

Seems like the gerbil-in-the-seat-pocket ploy could be advantageous to MS on several fronts.

(Poor Tooters)
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#9


Farting is closely related to poop, you fuckers. Goddamn.
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#10
:hah
Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
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#11


Yeah. Laugh. It's now spread to other threads.
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#12
Nothing worse than the SBD farts. Silent But Deadly. Bullshit
I would like a new sig line, but am not sure what it should be. So I will just put a tag that says "This space for rent"
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#13
There was this guy who was so old, (how old you ask) so old that when he farted, he farted DUST! hah
Carsman: Loves Living Large

Life is short, make the most of it, get outta here!
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#14
Pixie dust? I could use a sprinkle.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
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#15
DUCHESS...could not resist. This would actually be number 12 on the list.


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I would like a new sig line, but am not sure what it should be. So I will just put a tag that says "This space for rent"
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#16
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I would like a new sig line, but am not sure what it should be. So I will just put a tag that says "This space for rent"
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#17


No one farts in Mock. Dramaqueen
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#18
I'm thinking that farts are probably the funniest things going today especially when people try to ignore them and look up at the sky acting like it didn't happen, that is until that all knowing smile or blush.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
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#19


Ramsey thinks they are hilarious too. I have a memory of her saying so.
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#20
She is wise like the potato chip.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
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