Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
I was talking with some friends. One of them found this ad on FB for phone sex operators. I said I could do that. One said she couldn't. I said haven't you ever faked it with the hubs to get the job done? She's asks faked it? Yea, you know. The big O? Sometimes you know it's not going to happen and you have to put the clothes in the dryer before you go to sleep. So you fake an O so he can get off and you can get shit done. She looked at me like I had two heads.
Have you ever faked an organism?
Devil Money Stealing Aunt 
Posts: 9,837
Threads: 48
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 25,487
Threads: 227
Joined: Dec 2008
Yeah right 
Posts: 9,837
Threads: 48
Joined: Feb 2011
(08-24-2015, 03:17 PM)sally Wrote: Yeah right
Sure.
A couple of convincing thrusts, then roll over and go to sleep.
Her ego is intact and I can get back in the saddle again at another time.
Posts: 25,487
Threads: 227
Joined: Dec 2008
(08-24-2015, 03:21 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: (08-24-2015, 03:17 PM)sally Wrote: Yeah right
Sure.
A couple of convincing thrusts, then roll over and go to sleep.
Her ego is intact and I can get back in the saddle again at another time.
What about blue balls? Is that just a myth?
Posts: 9,837
Threads: 48
Joined: Feb 2011
(08-24-2015, 03:23 PM)sally Wrote: (08-24-2015, 03:21 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: (08-24-2015, 03:17 PM)sally Wrote: Yeah right
Sure.
A couple of convincing thrusts, then roll over and go to sleep.
Her ego is intact and I can get back in the saddle again at another time.
What about blue balls? Is that just a myth?
Blue Balls NOT a myth.
Babe the Blue Ox IS a myth.
There is a ton of truth to the saying that guys that haven't had a release for some time can't think clearly.
Deez Nuts run/ruin our life.
Posts: 4,698
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2012
I can't get past that ramsey is really claiming she faked orgasms.
Posts: 15,768
Threads: 3
Joined: Apr 2012
(08-24-2015, 03:33 PM)Jimbone Wrote: I can't get past that ramsey is really claiming she faked orgasms. It's probably just one of her famous typos. She actually baked an organism.
Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
Not all the time. But once in awhile I did. Every woman has faked it at one time or another.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
Posts: 29,189
Threads: 391
Joined: Aug 2011
(08-24-2015, 04:09 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Every woman has faked it at one time or another.
I have never faked an orgasm, seriously.
Then again, I've never been married nor felt obligated to lie to someone sexually (and I don't have any problem getting myself there, with or without a partner present).
I'd probably be a terrible phone sex operator.
Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
Not necessarily Hair. You could just get yourself off while you get him off. My ex wanted sex all the time. Sometimes I was like this is the third time today. I'm done. Fake it. He gets off. And I go on my way and get shit done.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
Posts: 3,283
Threads: 132
Joined: Jun 2008
Those two words that should never be used in the same sentence ! Fake. Orgasm. Really? WTF ?
I really don't understand how that can be done. I mean the cum covered dick and wet bed, or lack of in this case, would be a dead give away. Wait, that has me thinking. Are not all women squirters? I mean I am not a sex god or anything but every woman I have ben with needed , well , Clean up Isle 6.
Posts: 9,837
Threads: 48
Joined: Feb 2011
Ramsey is finally ready for you FU.
Posts: 37,639
Threads: 1,590
Joined: Jun 2008
I poured Pepsi and said it was Coke a few times. Nobody even noticed.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
Oh I am more than ready for FU. And there will be no faking needed.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
And you have to remember the ex was a drunk. It wasn't a turn on.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
Posts: 25,487
Threads: 227
Joined: Dec 2008
(08-24-2015, 04:29 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Not necessarily Hair. You could just get yourself off while you get him off. My ex wanted sex all the time. Sometimes I was like this is the third time today. I'm done. Fake it. He gets off. And I go on my way and get shit done.
Sometimes I'm not into it and just want to get it over with, but I've never had to fake it. My husband can cum on demand, no need to wait on me. You just do a little trick with your hand and say something dirty, like I want you to cum all over my face and tits.They usually don't last long after that.
Posts: 29,189
Threads: 391
Joined: Aug 2011
(08-24-2015, 04:29 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Not necessarily Hair. You could just get yourself off while you get him off.
Yeah, I think I'd be filing my nails or doodling or playing Russian roulette or something instead, rams.
It's a turn-on to turn-on men who turn me on.
But I wouldn't be inclined to get-off while talking dirty for cash to creepy strangers over the phone.
Posts: 3,283
Threads: 132
Joined: Jun 2008
(08-24-2015, 04:42 PM)sally Wrote: I want you to cum all over my face and tits.
Damn it Sally stop that, the girls are both gone and I don't want to have to go take a cold shower.
Posts: 29,189
Threads: 391
Joined: Aug 2011
Looks like you'd have a good shot at Phone Sex Operator of the Year, sal.
Something to fall back on. You'd still to get to work from home and could be earning Pay Pal points while you mop the floors and stuff.
P.s. hang up on that repeat caller with Air Supply and Dan Fogelberg playing in the background; he'll be expecting tit texts and talking about Jesus's forgiveness in no time.
|
