hypothetical: calling all evil vagina monsters

[Donovan]

I value your opinion even more than these jackals. They just wanna see Jonovan bleed. Honest opinion. Please.

I'm not touching it with a 10 ft. pole. May the force be with you.

LOL if only I had some sort of jedi mind tricks to get me out of this.

Truly I value all the above responses, even those who are currently away from their computers sewing up a Jonovan dummy to burn in effigy. See, I've got this problem where due to my fucked up childhood I have certain issues and hot buttons, stuff that elicits strong emotional reactions in me. Lying, for example. Drives me up the fucking wall, to the point of neurosis. But I can never tell when my reactions are warranted, if they're NORMAL reactions or if it's just me being hypersensitive. That's a word I've heard a lot over the years. Unflinching, stubborn, obstinate, condescending prick: I've heard them all.

Never liar, though. Never abusive. Never a cheater.

I probably should have made it clearer before, when Ramsey cleverly saw through my disguise and deduced the hypothetical situation was really genuine. But I needed to know if my reaction was out of line or not, and I just can't rely on my own past for guidance. Couldn't do that if anybody had their gender sympathy activated. So I flipped the roles. I'm the EVA in the actual scenario. I'm the lifeline. I'm the support (and oh I just heard Sally throw up a little in her mouth for realizing she's taking my side) I'm the one who came back in good faith only to find I'm the boring reality stable partner she doesn't want (whoop, there went Ramsey's lunch) and I'm the one who bailed out the family financially until her new cushy job, that I convinced her to go after, rendered me unnecessary to her survival (Aaaaand we just lost Fahqtoo to an embolism of trying to reconcile her loathing of me with her obvious and very public support).

Sorry about the deception, ladies. It was necessary. The sting will wear off and you can continue to hate me for all the other stuff, like the condescension, insufferability, apertaining rage, unrepentant liberalism...oh hell I forget them all. HotD has a list compiled I'm sure.

Just not lying. Not cheating. Not being bored with parenting. Not abuse, or freeloading, or thinking with my dick. Not ever.

Guess I got some clothes to burn...or maybe just pack.