04-10-2018, 09:33 AM
TOUCHING LOVE STORY
An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting at the local grocery. When she went before the judge he asked
her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her how many peaches were in
the can. She replied "6". The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could adjourn the
court, the woman's husband spoke and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas!"
ALWAYS HAVE YOUR GLASSES WITH YOU
My daughter asked me again yesterday why I didn't do something useful with my time. She bugged me all the time about this. She said she was only thinking about me and suggested I go to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her I had joined a parachute club. "Are you nuts? At your age you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her my membership card! "Dad, good grief, where are your glasses? This is a membership to a
Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" "Damn, I'm in trouble again…I signed up for five jumps a week!"
An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting at the local grocery. When she went before the judge he asked
her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her how many peaches were in
the can. She replied "6". The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could adjourn the
court, the woman's husband spoke and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas!"
ALWAYS HAVE YOUR GLASSES WITH YOU
My daughter asked me again yesterday why I didn't do something useful with my time. She bugged me all the time about this. She said she was only thinking about me and suggested I go to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her I had joined a parachute club. "Are you nuts? At your age you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her my membership card! "Dad, good grief, where are your glasses? This is a membership to a
Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" "Damn, I'm in trouble again…I signed up for five jumps a week!"