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I'll wait for the mountain snuggling. Sally can have the surf & sand.

I literally have a 5 minute walk from my house to the beach and have not gone there in 3 years. I prefer to go to different beaches away from here, like the keys.

That's fucking dumb.  She's probably a damn tween by now but last time I checked you had a little girl...and her mother can't be bothered to take her to the beach 5 minutes away?  Nooooo….pack her in the car with a 12-pack and drive her somewhere. Probably better come to think of it.  Fewer chances of her lush, beer bellied mom letting her drown.

Yeah, I'm visiting.  I've internet known you for a long fucking time.  Familiarity breeds contempt ya' know.