LOVE
#1


Love - giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to.

Have you been in love more than a couple times?

Sally, you were a child bride and you've been married for more than half your life now. Do you ever feel like you've missed out on anything? I ask that assuming your husband is the only man you've ever been with.
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#2
I don't think I've ever been in love. Like I've never met my soul mate.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
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#3
I've had sex with other men, but never in a relationship. Our plan was to get married and start a family and that's how it worked out. I don't feel like I missed out on anything because I don't feel the grass would have been greener with anyone else.

If we didn't have kids, however, I might feel differently. When you have kids it kind of ties you together. I'm not saying that's a reason to stay with someone who is making you miserable, but we really don't make each other all that miserable so it's worth it. I'm ok with it most of the time. Until I want to stab him repeatedly and poke his eyes out with a chopstick.
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#4
How about other women?
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#5
This morning he called me an asshole because he was stuck with no toilet paper like I'm supposed to be the toilet paper keeper of the house. So I went to the convenience store and they didn't have toilet paper so I got paper towels that cost me 12 bucks. It wasn't until I got home that I noticed they were the Bounty paper towels that have Dawn dish soap in them and are activated by water.

I threw a roll in front of the bathroom door and he's been complaining of his ass burning all day. You're going to call me an asshole for running out of toilet paper, there ya go buddy.
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#6
If you do the shopping you are the TP queen, shit happens though.
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#7
(04-22-2017, 09:55 PM)sally Wrote: This morning he called me an asshole because he was stuck with no toilet paper like I'm supposed to be the toilet paper keeper of the house. So I went to the convenience store and they didn't have toilet paper so I got paper towels that cost me 12 bucks. It wasn't until I got home that I noticed they were the Bounty paper towels that have Dawn dish soap in them and are activated by water.

I threw a roll in front of the bathroom door and he's been complaining of his ass burning all day. You're going to call me an asshole for running out of toilet paper, there ya go buddy.

He should have just used his underpants to wipe. That's what some guy at Price Chopper did when I worked the night shift and couldn't leave the register to make sure there was TP in the bathrooms. He said he Price Chopper should buy him new underpants.
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#8
Why would you use your underpants when you can yell and scream at your lazy old lady to get her fat bon bon eating ass of the net and go buy some tissue?
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#9
(04-23-2017, 12:34 AM)BigMark Wrote: Why would you use your underpants when you can yell and scream at your lazy old lady to get her fat bon bon eating ass of the net and go buy some tissue?

You use the underpants to wipe to remind yourself to share the responsibility of getting TP.

Fuck, why am I still single and not in a relationship like the thoughtless jerks?

(Don't answer that)
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#10
If you make serious cash and your old lady doesn't work that bee atch better have the TP situation worked out.
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#11
(04-23-2017, 12:43 AM)BigMark Wrote: If you make serious cash and your old lady doesn't work that bee atch better have the TP situation worked out.

Unless you're sally and are more like Peg Bundy and less like Kelly Bundy.
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#12
Kelly had a double mastectomy, life can really suck.
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#13
(04-23-2017, 12:50 AM)BigMark Wrote: Kelly had a double mastectomy, life can really suck.

Yeah she got fat too. She was on Conan recently talking about how she can't fit in the miniskirts anymore.
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#14
But you have big natural tits and still fit in a miniskirt, life is so cruel!
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#15
(04-23-2017, 01:10 AM)BigMark Wrote: But you have big natural tits and still fit in a miniskirt, life is so cruel!

I wouldn't call my tits big, barely a B. And I've never tried wearing a miniskirt but spanx for the suggestion.
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#16
I heard you fantasize about wearing kotex
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#17
(04-23-2017, 01:18 AM)BigMark Wrote: I heard you fantasize about wearing kotex

Yeah...no. I've tried maxipads.
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#18
(04-22-2017, 12:42 PM)Duchess Wrote: Love - giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to.

Have you been in love more than a couple times?

I've been in lust a lot of times, and in love three of those times.

But, I never gave anyone the power to destroy me.

I've been hurt some and I've hurt others some, but we all survived (don't go posting Gloria Gaynor, Biggie -- too predictable.)
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#19
(04-23-2017, 01:24 AM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:
(04-22-2017, 12:42 PM)Duchess Wrote: Love - giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to.

Have you been in love more than a couple times?

I've been in lust a lot of times, and in love three of those times.

But, I never gave anyone the power to destroy me.

I've been hurt some and I've hurt others some, but we all survived (don't go posting Gloria Gaynor, Biggie -- too predictable.)

Yeah go with a less catchy song.

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#20
(04-23-2017, 12:34 AM)BigMark Wrote: Why would you use your underpants when you can yell and scream at your lazy old lady to get her fat bon bon eating ass of the net and go buy some tissue?

I wasn't on the couch eating bon bons and watching my stories. I was busy cleaning up shit. Bird shit, rabbit shit, dog shit. Then I have to stop in the middle of cleaning up shit to run to the store because he's having a shit emergency.

Every day I'm up to my neck in shit.
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