Mock news at 5 , Sunday Aug 3rd

[F.U.]

~[ Insert sound of typewriter franticly typing away] ~

Hello , and welcome to yourweekly edition of,
the Sunday 5 pm CST Mock news .
Where its the news that matters , Notthe grammar.

At our NEW location , in the
Discussions , Opinions & Debate section of our forum .

This is your News anchor Mr Pumpkin Ass reporting the Mock news , sports and weather .
Reporting on the stories that I want . The way I want .




Here are your stories that made the headlines this week .

Please hold your comments until the end of our programing .


Our first story... I could be wrong , is the thread title you will find in the Discussions , Opinions & Debate section of our forum .
This thread started by the man without a shred of Give a Dam . Toooommmmyyy Toourrret .
This thread began with a fine display of insults . With cuts like this from TT ...
No no no. I didn't mean a passaround cunt. I said "women."
And responses like those from the woman who considers herself not just a Bitch . But rather THE Bitch and it's Miss Bitch to You ... SINASTER ...
Sinaster writes, And I quote .... me guess....you had a Club pull a train on you ... and ... Lord knows you can't do anything about it in the real world, you pusillanimous little bridge-dwelling troll.

Way to go Mockers !!! If those are insults that put a grin on your face , as they have mine . Then you to may want to take a look at the entire thread .
However ............... I could be wrong .



Our next story comes to us from the Discussions , Opinions & Debate section of our forum .

Forum Etiquette is the title that Duchess has chosen for this thread .
It sounds as though our beloved Mock forum has changedDuchessopinion of a " normal " forum .I don't know how to act in a "normal" forum anymore... said Duchess Mon Jul 28^th, 2008 .
In an attempt to explain the consequences that our freedom at Mock forum has upon us M.F. responded with ... On the downside, it can make other forums seem a little fake or too polite perhaps .
But it seams as though Duchess is not the only member that is experiencing these effects . From The Wonder Bitch Zenith ,comes ... This is my only entertainment site now. AND ... Now, I only come here....YIKES! What does it all mean?
So if you to are having these feelings have a look at this thread , and add your own comments on this topic .



Next I would like to point out a 6 page thread started by our resident biker/Mod Sinister .
The utterly fucking pointless thread has ben up and running since Fri Jul 11^th, 2008 03:20 pm . And contains almost 80 posts with over 500 views .
I would go into detail but this thread is all over the map .

So you could say ...Its utterly fucking pointless .


And now from our Newbie Imitation & Torture section of our forum we seethat we had a few potential members show up and give it a try this week . Cheesegrater , brotherZ and Rel Feuk, who is quite possibly the dumbest newbie we have yet to see .
Mr Feuk ,is achainsaw carving artist . As well as a webmaster / student .This rocket scientist managed to start 5 threads in a matter of minutes and succeeded in having 4 of those 5 threads moved by Admin . Then after an initial 8 page intro and lock out we see little Richard the chainsaw artist try again . He now sitswith 5 pages in that new thread . With a combined total of 13 pages and over 180 reply's this just may hold the record for newbies for posts , pages and time spent in newbie hell . Way to go Feuk'er . And good luck from all of us here at M O C K News . You're gunna need it !!!!!!!!!!

~~ [ insert sounds of rustling papers and whispering]~~

I have just ben given some breaking news . It appears as thou there has ben a last minute entry this week . Just minutes ago a member registered under the user name of Farah . As this is a late entry we will keep you informed as this story develops . Preliminary reports however look bleak .


And from the category that sees little activity , Headquarters . You will find a thread titled ... Should we calm the fuck down with the spelling/grammar bs ?
In this thread you will find a handy survey to add your vote on this topic . As well as a healthy discussion on the concept of using spelling/grammar mistakes as an effective way to Mock . So check it out and vote / voice your opinion on this topic .



Posted in theSome Honest Therapy section of our forum . LMPP asks the question ,
What's your schtick?
What started out as a cat fight ended up as a schlong duel .
In the first 3 pages you will find quality insults between the women like this from our resident witch .... Jack-ASS,
You

[F.U.]

And M O C K ammunition .

M O C K ... the definition of accuracy .

[F.U.]

Looking at todays radar map we see that much of the greatest land on the face of the planet has received a bit of rain . While light and scattered these showers were a welcome occurrence to some suffering from the heat .
Here's alook at today's temps from around the nation ... 58* in Seattle , 74* in Minneapolis , 75* in Boston , Miami comes in at 90* , Phoenix was 94* and the hot spot was the big D ... Dallas comes in at the century mark with 100* .

[F.U.]

And speaking of the heat I would like to introduce you to a new member of the weather team at M O C K .
Coming to you live from downtownFredag Iraq , lets welcome our lovely weather lady Saaraa Frm Afara .



Heddo from Iraq , This is Saraa Frm Afara in secret lokation in dwn twnFredag . It loks as do dere may be some rain in our future . So have ur umbrelez handy everyone .

Shhhhhh , Wad iz dat ? I tink I heer someonekuming. Oh oh , I must go now .
Have a gread week and I wil be back next week , Allah permitting .

Bak too You Mr Pumpkin Ass .

[F.U.]

Thanks Saraa Frm Afara . Great to have you aboard here at M O C K News at 5 .





Well that just about does it for this weeks weather .




Now I would like to shift gears a bit and reveal a new feature here atM O C K News , the Ol mail bag .
I would like to reach in and read a couple letters sent to us here at M O C K News from our readers .

Our first piece of mail was sent to us last week by a very active member , LMPP .

LMPP writes ...I love Thursday's sun with the Xs for eyes.


Well thank you LMPP . Our staff in the weather lab works hard to bring you up to the minute weather .As well asstate of the art graphics .
Thanks for the letter LMPP .



Our next letter is sent to us from a relatively new but active member , Duchess .

Here's what she has to say to M O C K News ...
...I've come to look forward to the Mock News every week, F U...Its entertaining, original & often laugh outloud funny...It always gets my vote...You do a really wonderful job with it...

Thank You Duchess ,
We here at M O C K News are delighted to have you as one of our loyal viewers . Westrive to bring you ,the viewer a light hearted , entertaining look at the weekly M O C K news.
Thank you for the VOTE of confidence Duchess .



And a letter sent to us just today , from our own Mr Maggot we read ...

Mock news is a stroke of genius, entertaining, enlightening and slightly warped.::thumbs::

Dear Mr Maggot , Sometimes even us pumpkin asses have our days .
Thanks for you letter Maggot . And thanks for watching us here at M O C K News .


Well that's all we have time for this week . Thanks for your letters everyone .
We will reach into the Ol mail bag again next week . So keep the cards and letters coming .






That aboutwraps it up forthis weeks edition of M O C K News at 5 .
I would like to thank you all for joining me tonight , and everySunday here at M O C K News .







Good night Mock Land . This is your Mock reporter Pumpkin ass saying F . U .


Roll the disclaimer Bruno .

Views and or comments stated in this broadcast are that of the news caster . And not necessarily that of this forum , its owners or the administration or moderators of this forum . This broadcast was meant to irritate , aggravate and generally piss of those who disagree with the reporters opinion . Thank you for watching the slightly funny , almost irritating , lame ass edition of M O C K news at 5.

[LuMPyPussy]

He's a chainsaw artist? How did I miss that?!?

Hahahahaha!

[Lady Cop]

hey FU...I THINK YOU'RE BRILLIANT!

[LuMPyPussy]

hey FU...I THINK YOU'RE BRILLIANT!

Oh hell yeah, he's guaranteed a POTD from me with this shit.

[Duchess]

That was so funny !!!!...Every edition of the Mock News is better than the week before...You are a talented lil' fucker...To see us all through someone elses eyes is hysterical...Bravo! ...Keep 'em coming, baby...I, for one, love them.

[Cynical Ninja]

Telegram for FU *STOP* newsreel technique of posting found to be supremely irritating *STOP* acts of encouragement for this technique must cease *STOP* please, please, please for the love of sanity *STOP*

[The Antagonist]

I enjoy them too. And now I enjoy it even more and would if I never did just because it annoy's the piss out of Chickie there.

Hint Chickie..... if they annoy you so much don't read them. Pretty simple even for you to figure out.

[Cynical Ninja]

Hint Chickie..... if they annoy you so much don't read them. Pretty simple even for you to figure out.

Fuck you kitten.


::finger::

[Middle Finger]

Watch out, Ant ... OP scours the internet for people (guy or girl, doesn't matter to metro-fuck) willing to talk about their private parts. Keep your distance.

[Cynical Ninja]

Watch out, Ant ... OP scours the internet for people (guy or girl, doesn't matter to metro-fuck) willing to talk about their private parts. Keep your distance.

How insecure is your sexuality MF?, you are such a camp prick tease!

The latest batch of sexually explicit pics you e-mailed to me made me want to barf, how the hell did you manage to get that thing so far up your arse ?!

::bvomit::

[Middle Finger]

See? Notice the focus on my ass, AGAIN.

[Sinister]

See? Notice the focus on my ass, AGAIN.

Congratulations, MF. Have you ever had online sexual stalker? ::lmao:: ::nuts::

[Middle Finger]

See? Notice the focus on my ass, AGAIN.

Congratulations, MF. Have you ever had online sexual stalker? ::lmao:: ::nuts::

No, and let me tell you, I am disappointed that this is the one I get. I was hoping for one that at least had breasts. Maybe OP has moobs to help the situation.