Annoying Celebrities

[Cracker]

I wasn't behind the wheel fucked up .

I hate to put this into writing, but it is truth.

I wish I could say I have never driven while I was under the influence, but that would be a lie. When I was growing up, DUI was a misdemeanor. I grew up in a rural area, ranch lands and empty space, so we didn't have much to do other than drink/get high/listen to music/drive around. While we mostly stayed on dirt roads, we also used to get high and cruise town. We would drive outside of town ten miles or so to drink and fish, and drive back when we were done. We didn't have video games or Internet or fancy phones back then. We were outside 90% of the time, not stuck inside on our asses.

If the cops caught us, they made us lock up the cars and drove us all home and dropped us off on our doorsteps. Our parents would bitch at us, then take us to get our cars the next morning. Every now and then, one of us would lose driving privileges for a week or two. I can only remember 3 car accidents from my youth that maimed/killed kids, only one was due to DUI.

If they are being honest, most people around my age that grew up in rural areas will have similar stories. As much as I would like to be shocked by Lindsay, I honestly can't be too highbrow as I used to own a Deering and I know what a bullet is (not the gun kind).

I have never been a thief, though. I hate a fucking thief. Most people who have earned what they have do not take things they haven't earned.

(I have to add this. My biggest partner in crime was brother (he's a year older than I am), who is now the biggest tight-assed cop you would ever want to meet. I am also a contributing member of society. If you knew either of us at 16-21, you would never have effen guessed. I would fuck one of my kids up for doing the things we did, but I understand the mindset. Lindsay isn't trying to hurt anyone but herself.)