03-06-2011, 01:16 PM
(03-06-2011, 01:02 PM)van64 Wrote: Miss, we are not Latin but rather are probably half a step away from Hillbilly in our family roots. Our stock is exclusively English though. I pray it's a long time before you see a loved one in an open casket but I'll share another something with you. Growing up, I remember the old folk talking about how comforting it was to reach out and touch a loved one's hand when they were in their casket. When my Grandmother died in 2000, I was distraught. She had almost raised me and we were very, very close. She was one of the sweetest, most kind-hearted women you'd ever meet. I was alone at the funeral home with her body, consumed by grief, and I all of a sudden had this urge to reach out and hold her hands. Now this is not like me at all, but I just did it. I have no idea why I did it but I did. Probably the conditioning from hearing the old folk talk years earlier helped pave the way but I can tell you, I am sooooo glad I did make that simple gesture. She was stone cold; there wasn't a bit of warmth in those hands that had caressed my forehead growing up and I knew right then and there that what was left behind was NOT her. Her essence was gone on ahead and at that point in time, I could let the body go into the ground and (I know this sounds silly too) but I could let her body go into the ground and not worry about her freezing in the single digit December weather where she was to be buried the next day. I have never shared this with anyone else but I took great comfort in holding her hands and realizing that it was more than okay to let her body slip away from me. So don't fear that day and when the time comes, slip your hand into the hands of your loved one lying in their casket. You'll find immediate relief and you'll never regret doing that.
I wish there was a picture of Lisa in her casket too but I understand why her family would either not take pictures or not allow them to be posted online. Whatever either of them were or were not involved in, deep inside where it counts they were generous human beings who shared the simple things in life to which we all look forward. Human nature is not that far removed. It is a tragedy.
That's very touching, thank you for sharing that. I can understand where you are coming from. Again since I've never experienced it in real life, I can only imagine in my head what that would be like and when I think about it, I'm sure a lot of us attach ourselves to the physical being of our loved one. Seeing them lying lifeless is different than touching them because they still look like "them" however, by touching them, I bet they do not feel anything at all like them. The beautiful soul that filled that body and gave it life is no longer there, and at that time you can realize that you can let go of the physical being, that shell. Whew this is deep thinking for this early Sunday morning!! haha. But I can certainly see what you are talking about and I'm so glad you did that as well, seems to have helped you tremendously when it comes to finding peace. I will keep this in mind - it's something I had never thought of.