04-16-2011, 09:26 PM
An excerpt from: The Blame Game By Manfred (Fred) Hein
What is the Blame Game?
Blaming is a self-defense mechanism. People react (personally, in a group, or as a corporation) when they are under pressure, when they make mistakes, when they are put into "uncomfortable" situations, or when they are attacked. They react in two basic ways (with variations) - they fight back (attack) or they withdraw. Blaming is used to deflect a problem, incident, situation and/or attention away from yourself.
Blaming can have varying degrees of impact on the "blamee" - the individual or organization. In the extreme it can cause considerable harm. All of us need to reflect how we felt when we've been blaming targets. The images you see in Figures 1 - 4 come to my mind and fairly well represent some of the blaming intensity and the degrees of harm the Blame Game may cause. In Figure 1 we see a typical example of someone "pointing the finger at us" for a problem or situation we may or may not be the cause of. And we may feel like the proverbial "donkey". In Figure 2 the Blame Game increases in intensity and we may find ourselves the target of intimidating grilling tactics intended to "have us own-up" and admit we are the cause of the problem. Figure 3 represents an even more onerous Blame Game situation - wherein an individual or organization is constantly "keeping you under its thumb" by letting you know repeatedly how much of a screw-up" you are - i.e., an individual or organization that doesn't believe in a culture where making mistakes is tolerated. Figure 4 is the most damaging of all. It represents a blaming situation wherein a supposedly "trusted friend", maybe under pressure, deflects attention from himself/herself and hurts you terribly personally and/or professionally using blaming techniques.
What is the Blame Game?
Blaming is a self-defense mechanism. People react (personally, in a group, or as a corporation) when they are under pressure, when they make mistakes, when they are put into "uncomfortable" situations, or when they are attacked. They react in two basic ways (with variations) - they fight back (attack) or they withdraw. Blaming is used to deflect a problem, incident, situation and/or attention away from yourself.
Blaming can have varying degrees of impact on the "blamee" - the individual or organization. In the extreme it can cause considerable harm. All of us need to reflect how we felt when we've been blaming targets. The images you see in Figures 1 - 4 come to my mind and fairly well represent some of the blaming intensity and the degrees of harm the Blame Game may cause. In Figure 1 we see a typical example of someone "pointing the finger at us" for a problem or situation we may or may not be the cause of. And we may feel like the proverbial "donkey". In Figure 2 the Blame Game increases in intensity and we may find ourselves the target of intimidating grilling tactics intended to "have us own-up" and admit we are the cause of the problem. Figure 3 represents an even more onerous Blame Game situation - wherein an individual or organization is constantly "keeping you under its thumb" by letting you know repeatedly how much of a screw-up" you are - i.e., an individual or organization that doesn't believe in a culture where making mistakes is tolerated. Figure 4 is the most damaging of all. It represents a blaming situation wherein a supposedly "trusted friend", maybe under pressure, deflects attention from himself/herself and hurts you terribly personally and/or professionally using blaming techniques.