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How OBK met his wife
#1
From Craigslist:

Quote:To the woman that crapped in my car. ( NE Portland )

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost.. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. Touché

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#2
That's just wrong on so many levels. And I wouldn't doubt it if OBK really DID meet his Wife under such circumstances Smiley_emoticons_wink
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#3
Trolling for dates on Craigslist Lumpy? Desperaton has set in huh?
Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
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#4
ramseycat Wrote:Trolling for dates on Craigslist Lumpy? Desperaton has set in huh?
It worked for you. ::dunno::
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#5
LuMPyPussy Wrote:
ramseycat Wrote:Trolling for dates on Craigslist Lumpy? Desperaton has set in huh?
It worked for you. ::dunno::
No skankho, I met my guy at work. Where he saw what I really look like. Not on some internet site where you put up pictures of yourself 20 years ago to try and get a date. How is that working out for ya? Does the dude bolt when you finally meet face to face and he sees the real deal? Man, that's gotta suck.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
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#6
You work for Craigslist? Wow.

And that 'guy sees photo, guy runs away' comment was already used, by me, in an earlier thread.

You're stupid AND unoriginal. ::aww::
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#7
Fiction: 52%.
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#8
OnBendedKnee Wrote:Fiction: 52%.
The leather seat part, right?
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#9
[user=35]LuMPyPussy[/user] wrote:
Quote:
OnBendedKnee Wrote:Fiction: 52%.
The leather seat part, right?
Thank you, yes. That along with no Craig's list when I met Liz.::scared::
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#10
D Wrote:That's just wrong on so many levels.
Are you gay by any chance?
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#11
LuMPyPussy Wrote:You work for Craigslist? Wow.

And that 'guy sees photo, guy runs away' comment was already used, by me, in an earlier thread.

You're stupid AND unoriginal. ::aww::
Yea yea yea. You just can't stand it that I was spot on in my assessment. ::lmao::
Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
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#12
Poopy works for some secret Cabal in the mountains testing human secretions for Lyme disease. I just know it!::bvomit:Smiley_emoticons_skeptischhe luvs it and cannot contain it.........thus the eruption of disdainful metaphoric concoctions of bile degeneration rhythmical waves of foul emulsion's.

Good thing she grows flowers eh!......please say you grow flowers Poopy.30
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#13
Yeah, poopy flowers!
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#14
Thanks.........Smiley_emoticons_biggrin
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#15
sally Wrote:
D Wrote:That's just wrong on so many levels.
Are you gay by any chance?
I'm unsure how that translates into any possibility of me being a queer... Unless its a phrase only used by fags in your neck of the woods...
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#16
D Wrote:
sally Wrote:
D Wrote:That's just wrong on so many levels.
Are you gay by any chance?
I'm unsure how that translates into any possibility of me being a queer... Unless its a phrase only used by fags in your neck of the woods...
Call me crazy, but I heard the "bitch voice" in that ::dunno::
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#17
sally Wrote:
D Wrote:
sally Wrote:
D Wrote:That's just wrong on so many levels.
Are you gay by any chance?
I'm unsure how that translates into any possibility of me being a queer... Unless its a phrase only used by fags in your neck of the woods...
Call me crazy, but I heard the "bitch voice" in that ::dunno::
Ok, Crazy. Trust me, if it was the "bitch voice" you need your hearing checked :p

Though, to be honest my voice is kinda messed up atm due to one of my wisdom teeth being abscessed and my cheek being swollen like hell. Getting it pulled in 2-3 weeks... AFTER the abscess is gone. Ugh. Fucking moronic dentists. Really, what does it matter if I take the antibiotics before or AFTER the tooth is out? Either way I've already GOT an infection, so lets get the cause out first, THEN clean up the infection. Oh well. Morons.
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