@USERNAME -- CATCH UP, FRENCH FRY!

[Midwest Spy]

Before we get too carried away around here, I didn't actually cheat.

I initiated a text conversation that I shouldn't have, saw where it was heading and removed myself from the situation.

Holy Hannah!

[Donovan]

ps I'm not gone, but crazy busy during daylight hours and this dog and kid require a LOT of attention. Little fuckers are eating into my "me" time lol.

Shame on you HotDog for thinking a few liberal/conservative blabla was enough to drive me into hiding. As IF.

[Donovan]

Before we get too carried away around here, I didn't actually cheat.

I initiated a text conversation that I shouldn't have, saw where it was heading and removed myself from the situation.

Holy Hannah!

Sorry bud, your forgiveness speech sounded exactly like every other self-serving con who's been caught trying to put his hand in the nookie jar.

Step one: downplay the actual offense
step two: semi-justify it by shifting blame
step three: admit weakness and invoke Jesus or God or both
step four: profess undying love for family
step five: admit you are a victim of your own weakness thereby absolving all accountability.

[crash]

Crash, a person can love his wife and kids, love Jesus and still be fallible.

I've had many struggles in my life, desire of the flesh probably topping that list.

All a person can do is ask for forgiveness.

This is horseshit. I am absolute shit at holding a relationship together, and my baggage makes me difficult to live with for longer than a few years, and fuck that two thousand year old fairy tale Jesus. But you know for all my faults what I've never been weak enough to do? Betray my mate by cheating on her. Or hitting. Or any of the other selfish shit spineless assholes always seem to be asking forgiveness for.

"Desire of the Flesh"= "my penis is the boss of me because my ego is fragile and requires feeding". End of story.

Like!

ETA: you didn't answer my question either, MS, are you going to tell the wife and ask for forgiveness? I mean you didn't actually cheat, right, surely she'll see it the same way as you do..

[HairOfTheDog]

Shame on you HotDog for thinking a few liberal/conservative blabla was enough to drive me into hiding. As IF.

I didn't think you'd been driven off, Donovan.

I just wrote what I did in the OP to try and lure you back, with blatant disregard for whatever excuse you were gonna try to make for being absent.

And, I accept the shame on me, I earned it. But, I'm not gonna ask for forgiveness because I liked doing it and I'm not sorry.

I liked your comment a couple of posts up. I do however believe that you scared MS -- it could only be good for him. I'm picturing him like this right now:

[HairOfTheDog]

BREAKING MOCK NEWS:
MIDWEST SPY CHARGED WITH MORALS CRIMES & HEADED TO MOCK TRIAL



COUNT I: MS ^ is being charged with a felony count of "sending creepy texts to a woman of poor judgment and possible ill repute". The motive: he did this in order to boost his fragile ego.

COUNT II: He is also charged with a second degree count of "looking at naked photos of a woman of poor judgment and possible ill repute."

COUNT III: The misdemeanor charge of "using excessive amounts of bullshit to rationalize one's infractions" has been dropped. Kinda hard to enforce that at Mock, from a purely practical perspective.

P.s. If anyone's interested in MS's defense strategy, you can find it upthread. He laid it out before he was even charged.

So..........Where do you stand -- with the prosecution or the defense?

Weigh in and stay tuned...

[Midwest Spy]

Hopefully F.U. reads this and weighs in so it's not a unanimous decision.

[crash]

There's a difference. The women in FU's life know about each other. He's not skulking around behind anyone's back.

[HairOfTheDog]

Hopefully F.U. reads this and weighs in so it's not a unanimous decision.

Actually, I was gonna volunteer to be your defense attorney (I would be wearing body armor at all times during the process).

The charges that mattered most, Count III, were dropped.

As for Counts I and II, I think Ramsey got it right (I don't know if I've ever had that thought, in silence or out loud, like twice in one 7-day period before).

[crash]

Actually, I was gonna volunteer to be your defense attorney

^ I think you need to make this your new avatar, HotD

[HairOfTheDog]

Hey, now, I'm not the patron saint of lost cases.

I'm just the defender of them; like a public defender -- everybody has the right to adequate representation, even those with no moral currency (or cash).

I believe in the American justice system, crash. I have my hand over my heart right now and there's a tiny tear welling in my right eye. I swear.

Anyway, my client maintains his guilt and we will be entering a plea of "not responsible by reason of diminished capacity", on the grounds that he suffers from idiotic tendencies and delusions.

See you in court, opposing counsel.

[crash]

See you in court.

I'll be up the back, throwing peanuts from the gallery..

[HairOfTheDog]

See you in court.

I'll be up the back, throwing peanuts from the gallery..

I'm good at catching things in my mouth from a distance. I don't know why, but I hardly ever miss.

I like Dry Roasted Planters Peanuts, crash -- the ones that come in the jar with the vacuum cap lid.

Looking forward to seeing you in court...

[Midwest Spy]

Idiotic tendencies and delusions.

I like it.

I THINK WE CAN WIN!

[Carsman]

Before we get too carried away around here, I didn't actually cheat.

I initiated a text conversation that I shouldn't have, saw where it was heading and removed myself from the situation.

Holy Hannah!

Sorry bud, your forgiveness speech sounded exactly like every other self-serving con who's been caught trying to put his hand in the nookie jar.

Step one: downplay the actual offense
step two: semi-justify it by shifting blame
step three: admit weakness and invoke Jesus or God or both
step four: profess undying love for family
step five: admit you are a victim of your own weakness thereby absolving all accountability.

It worked for Jimmy Swaggart, (TV evangelist who cheated) the SOB looking directly into the TV camera and saying: "I HAVE SINNED" with a tear in his eye.What a phony!

The stoooped people forgave him, and still send "millions" of $$$$$$$ to his ministry!

[HairOfTheDog]

It worked for Jimmy Swaggart, (TV evangelist who cheated) the SOB looking directly into the TV camera and saying: "I HAVE SINNED" with a tear in his eye.What a phony!

The stoooped people forgave him, and still send "millions" of $$$$$$$ to his ministry!

Jimmy is still getting donations, huh?

I see a gofundme account to cover your defense costs in your immediate future, MS.

And, Donovan and Cars are right about the transparency of your past self-serving, rationalizing, hollow, God-invoking pleas for forgiveness. You will be dropping that tired bullshit before opening arguments begin.

We are going with a Zimmerman splinter defense instead, claiming that although you put yourself in the situation in the first place and pursued your target against common sense and established protocols, she tempted you and you were too big a pussy not to take a shot. Fingers crossed that the woman in question is a minority.

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, MS, I just saw that you opened up a crusty old thread in order to post Barbara Streisand's "Woman in Love" as your "Guilty Pleasure".

It's clear that you lack the good sense to exercise your right not to incriminate yourself further. Indefensible.

Therefore, I'm bailing and leaving you to serve as your own legal defense attorney. What could go wrong? (think Bundy, Ted -- not -- Al).

You're on your own, MS -- well, it's down to just you and God anyway.

[crash]

Probably a wise choice, HotD. Although the Zimmerman strategy had a sliver of a chance of succeeding, the problem with a Zimmerman type defense is that even if some court screws up ridiculously enough to give you a not guilty verdict, 99% of the global population still thinks you're a cunt..

Just because it's fitting, doesn't mean it's feasible.

[Duchess]

Barbara Streisand? Hang 'em high. He's guilty as sin!

Barbara is his guilty pleasure.

[Duchess]