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(01-27-2013, 10:24 PM)JsMom Wrote: What the hell is wrong with an open casket?  But the home funeral deal...Hell No I'd seriously be creeped out.
Nothing for some people but personally I'd prefer my last memories of loved ones to be when they were alive. My grandmother specifically didn't want an open casket but my uncle disregarded her wishes and held a "viewing". I opted not to go but my sister went in for a few minutes and came back to the car kind of shivering and said "that's not grandma". Those are now her last memories. Not mine.
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(01-27-2013, 11:10 PM)username Wrote: (01-27-2013, 10:24 PM)JsMom Wrote: What the hell is wrong with an open casket? But the home funeral deal...Hell No I'd seriously be creeped out.
Nothing for some people but personally I'd prefer my last memories of loved ones to be when they were alive. My grandmother specifically didn't want an open casket but my uncle disregarded her wishes and held a "viewing". I opted not to go but my sister went in for a few minutes and came back to the car kind of shivering and said "that's not grandma". Those are now her last memories. Not mine.
I can see where that could be true for some. I have never been to a closed casket funeral and I have been to quite a few. To each their own. 
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I had an open casket funeral for my dad at my grandparents request. I was really distraught when I went to the funeral home in the morning and wanted to close the casket because I didn't think thats what he would have wanted at all, but everyone was going up to the casket and hugging him so I guess it wasn't all that bad. That's the only open casket funeral I've ever been too and the only way I can describe holding his hand was that he was gone and it was a shell of who he was.
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(01-27-2013, 11:14 PM)JsMom Wrote: (01-27-2013, 11:10 PM)username Wrote: (01-27-2013, 10:24 PM)JsMom Wrote: What the hell is wrong with an open casket? But the home funeral deal...Hell No I'd seriously be creeped out.
Nothing for some people but personally I'd prefer my last memories of loved ones to be when they were alive. My grandmother specifically didn't want an open casket but my uncle disregarded her wishes and held a "viewing". I opted not to go but my sister went in for a few minutes and came back to the car kind of shivering and said "that's not grandma". Those are now her last memories. Not mine.
I can see where that could be true for some. I have never been to a closed casket funeral and I have been to quite a few. To each their own.
Hi JSmom. Nice to see you posting beyond a happy birthday/welcome. Finafuckingly. I say that with all due respect and stuff.
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Here is a link to a blog from a family who went through something similar, and gives a perspective on it that seems pretty rational to me.
Prior to reading this the notion would have seemed bat shit crazy to me... it changed my mind.
Also, if you can read this and not be affected, you are likely a serial killer.
http://www.superty.org/2012/10/our-baby-...peace.html
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I followed your link & read the story. I don't ever want to know that kind of pain & if grief truly is the price we pay for loving then I'm pretty sure I could go the rest of my life without ever loving again. It hardly seems worth it to be crushed like that.
I hope I don't really mean that but in this moment I do.
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A coworker of mine sent it to me back in the fall. Truly heartbreaking. Thankfully Duchess we love like that without the thought it will end so painfully. Something in our DNA I guess...
I look at my little ones and know that the world would disappear for me if something happened to either of them.
My Mom buried my brother when he was 16, and I honestly don't know how she survived the experience.
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(01-28-2013, 11:31 AM)Jimbone Wrote: Here is a link to a blog from a family who went through something similar, and gives a perspective on it that seems pretty rational to me.
Prior to reading this the notion would have seemed bat shit crazy to me... it changed my mind.
Also, if you can read this and not be affected, you are likely a serial killer.
http://www.superty.org/2012/10/our-baby-...peace.html
That was heartbreaking.
I'm gonna go in the "Employer's right" thread and be mean to Aussie now to take my mind off of it.
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That truly was heartbreaking. I can not imagine the pain of losing a child. I agree that after reading through their situation, it doesn't seem as weird or creepy to keep the child in the home. I can imagine that one would want to spend as much time as possible with the child.
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(01-28-2013, 11:31 AM)Jimbone Wrote: Here is a link to a blog from a family who went through something similar, and gives a perspective on it that seems pretty rational to me.
Prior to reading this the notion would have seemed bat shit crazy to me... it changed my mind.
Also, if you can read this and not be affected, you are likely a serial killer.
http://www.superty.org/2012/10/our-baby-...peace.html
Yah, I went through a similer experience when we knew it was time to take my son off life support. I couldn't even finish that article. It brought back a very sad day for me but this was the worse time in my life and believe it or not. It's when I truly knew with out a doubt there is a God and a Heaven. I felt closer to God. I felt safe in my decision. I felt comfort when I thought I'd never be comfortable in my life again. I did! and I DO! It was a very long hard road. I still hurt but I am at peace. I also know about the tears flowing like rivers. This is the new me. As weird as it is to say. I know he is still with me. Anyways...What a touching story.
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Up until the 70's people would take pictures of the dead in caskets. I found some pictures in a box when I first moved into my house with a few old people in their final bed. It was surreal because I was alone in the attic at the time.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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(01-28-2013, 12:26 PM)sally Wrote: I'm gonna go in the "Employer's right" thread and be mean to Aussie now to take my mind off of it.
That thread was fun, don't spoil it.
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(01-30-2013, 04:35 PM)FAHQTOO Wrote: I agree. Someone should have closed their eyes.
As I was reading about this it was stated that when the photographer couldn't get the eyes to stay open eyeballs would then be painted on the closed lids. Back in the day there were photographers that specialized in post mortem photography. I'm trying to be open minded about this but it's very difficult when I keep mentally shuddering.
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(01-30-2013, 04:42 PM)Duchess Wrote: (01-30-2013, 04:35 PM)FAHQTOO Wrote: I agree. Someone should have closed their eyes.
As I was reading about this it was stated that when the photographer couldn't get the eyes to stay open eyeballs would then be painted on the closed lids. Back in the day there were photographers that specialized in post mortem photography. I'm trying to be open minded about this but it's very difficult when I keep mentally shuddering.
Ditto.
I had one of those full body shivers when I saw their eyes opened.
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You can see the post mortem swelling on their hands and fingertips. Ugg! Death and the body afterwards had a bigger role in life back then. In your face reality. People were stronger and tougher in the old days. Today its glazed over like a doughnut.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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I'm cool with being like a glazed donut if it means I'll never have to do anything with my dead loved one's remains, no cuddling, no picture taking, no lap sitting, no hand holding, no no no touching the dead people.
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One of my friends us a professional photog. She volunteers for this organization that takes pics of parents and their babies when they are still born or die shortly after birth - a few hours or days. All of the parents are so grateful to have these photos. I can't imagine doing what she does. She says its incredibly hard but rewarding.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt 
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(01-31-2013, 08:24 AM)ramseycat Wrote: One of my friends us a professional photog. She volunteers for this organization that takes pics of parents and their babies when they are still born or die shortly after birth - a few hours or days. All of the parents are so grateful to have these photos. I can't imagine doing what she does. She says its incredibly hard but rewarding.
I've seen these type of photos. It's another one of those things where I can't wrap my head around it but I'm sure if I were in the position my feelings would be different.
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