FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)

[F.U.]

The missus bought a Paperback,


down Shepton Mallet way,


I had a look inside her bag;


T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".


Well I just left her to it,


And at ten I went to bed.


An hour later she appeared;


The sight filled me with dread...


In her left she held a rope;


And in her right a whip!


She threw them down upon the floor,


And then began to strip.


Well fifty years or so ago;


I might have had a peek;


But Mabel hasn't weathered well;


She's eighty four next week!!


Watching Mabel bump and grind;


Could not have been much grimmer.


And things then went from bad to worse;


She toppled off her Zimmer!


She struggled back upon her feet


a couple minutes later;


she put her teeth back in and said


I am a dominator !!


Now if you knew our Mabel,


you'd see just why I spluttered,


I'd spent two months in traction


For the last complaint I'd uttered.


She stood there nude and naked,


bent forward just a bit


I went to hold her, sensual like


and stood on her left tit!


Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;


My god what had I done!?


She moaned and groaned then shouted out:


"Step on the other one"!!


Well readers, I can tell no more


about what occurred that day.


Suffice to say my jet black hair


turned fifty shades of grey.

[HairOfTheDog]

Go Mabel!

[JsMom]

[username]

Hahaha!

Haven't read it. Don't plan to either.

[ramseycat]

I read all three while in GA last year. Not that good really. Just shows most women want to be dominated by a good looking super rich dude. I put them in the same category as the twilight books. Stupid.

[OnBendedKnee]

I read all three while in GA last year. Not that good really. Just shows most women want to be dominated by a good looking super rich dude. I put them in the same category as the twilight books. Stupid.

You're way too smart to be an insurance adjuster.

[Midwest Spy]

I read all three while in GA last year. Not that good really. Just shows most women want to be dominated by a good looking super rich dude. Stupid.

While you'd rather be dominated by an out of work, out of shape, looks-like-an-ogre dude?

[ramseycat]

I read all three while in GA last year. Not that good really. Just shows most women want to be dominated by a good looking super rich dude. Stupid.

While you'd rather be dominated by an out of work, out of shape, looks-like-an-ogre dude?

Exactly.

[Duchess]

I don't know any women who would want to be dominated by a man. It's not a turn on.

[username]

I don't know any women who would want to be dominated by a man. It's not a turn on.

Well, I guess it depends on how you define dominate. Outside of sex, no, but some rough, take charge kind of sex can be fun!!

Raawwwr!

[JsMom]

I don't know any women who would want to be dominated by a man. It's not a turn on.

Well, I guess it depends on how you define dominate. Outside of sex, no, but some rough, take charge kind of sex can be fun!!

Raawwwr!

Hell Yah, Exactly!

[Jimbone]

I don't know any women who would want to be dominated by a man. It's not a turn on.

User kind of covered it, but I've known a few who were into being submissive in the bedroom... that said, they didn't live their 'outside' life that way at all.

And I wouldn't have been interested in them if they did. But intimately? I'll play along if someone wants to be submissive.

Rawwwr.

[username]

Submissive sounds like just lying there. I like the term rough better.

[Midwest Spy]

Submissive sounds like just lying there. I like the term rough better.

Hair-pulling, choking (until almost? unconscious) and punched in the face?

Are you sure you're not my sister-in-law?

[HairOfTheDog]

Submissive sounds like just lying there. I like the term rough better.

I liked Mabel's holistic approach; demanding and forcing her husband to take charge!

Although it didn't seem to work out too well for Mr. Mabel, switching up the roles and the element of surprise can be fun.

I haven't read the book either. I think I've heard enough about it now to grasp the concept.

[Duchess]

I guess it depends on how you define dominate.

I read it in a way that it probably wasn't intended to be read. I saw "dominated" and that's all I saw.

I still don't think I'm prepared to have my hair pulled...but banging the hell out of me up against a wall doesn't sound bad at all.

[Jimbone]

I still don't think I'm prepared to have my hair pulled...but banging the hell out of me up against a wall doesn't sound bad at all.

Now you're just asking for it. Shameless.

[FAHQTOO]

I read all three while in GA last year. Not that good really. Just shows most women want to be dominated by a good looking super rich dude. I put them in the same category as the twilight books. Stupid.

Those books were soooo "not that good", you had to read ALL 3. You're not fooling anyone...you live for this kind of stupid shit.

Any normal person would stop reading a fucking book that "was not that good really". Any retarded person would keep reading them all!!

[Duchess]

Now you're just asking for it. Shameless.

Sometimes I tend to be over the top but that was pretty tame compared to some stuff I've posted.

[ramseycat]

I read all three while in GA last year. Not that good really. Just shows most women want to be dominated by a good looking super rich dude. I put them in the same category as the twilight books. Stupid.

Those books were soooo "not that good", you had to read ALL 3. You're not fooling anyone...you live for this kind of stupid shit.

Any normal person would stop reading a fucking book that "was not that good really". Any retarded person would keep reading them all!!

No dumbass. I brought them to GA with me (they were loaned to me) and I read them on the plane to and from rather than sit there with my thumb up my ass. Or spend an outrageous amount of money buying books at the airport.