.........Came tearing out of a house and was eating the face off a woman and was yanking off her hands at the wrist. Would you try and stop it? How surreal would THAT be? And what if it started chasing you!:shock:
I have simply not thought about it much until I read the story about the "Lady with a Monkey" today.
Ima coward...If I can't shoot it, Ima hiding & calling 911.
I'm not saying this woman deserved that so, don't jump me...BUT...Keep the wild animals in the wild for fucks sake...Wild animals CANNOT be domesticated, I don't care what anyone says...They are wired differently than dogs, cats & the like & no amount of love & TLC is gonna change that.
Could a million monkeys given a million years and a million typewriters offer us that same scenario?
I think not.
I'm beginning to think that retirement has sent you around the proverbal mental bend.
They say a man goes through three professional career changes in his life time.
I consider reading Mock my forth.
I would probably try and hit it with something, anything that was in the area, forgetting the old phrase "never fuck with a pissed off Monkey". I bet the Monkey was just sick of wearing diapers.
Monkey: "I'm not wearing this fucking diaper anymore you assholes"!
I would be like, move along, nothing to see here.
Unless the chick getting her face ripped off was hot, then I might....I dunno, man you just can't out wrestle a fucking monkey.
Chimps are incredibly strong. An adult chimp can manage to rip the arm off a human. A young chimp can rip the arm off of any of Ramsey's men.
the poor victim (a visitor, not the owner) lost her hands, her face is destroyed, she needs years of plastic surgery, and she is blind, will never see again. she is suing Conn. for $150 M. because they allowed the chimp to live in a privatehome despite many warnings. and she is suing owner for $165.M.
jackboots Wrote:the poor victim (a visitor, not the owner) lost her hands, her face is destroyed, she needs years of plastic surgery, and she is blind, will never see again. she is suing Conn. for $150 M. because they allowed the chimp to live in a privatehome despite many warnings. and she is suing owner for $165.M.
Oh my aching balls!!! The only person that ever owned a monkey and had $165 mil, was MJ all the other monkey owners are just crazy white trash.
herhomeowners insurance will have to pony up/settle.
Nobody that owns a monkey is gonna have 165 million dollars worth of insurance unless they own a zoo or they are Michael Jackson.
twisteroo Wrote:Nobody that owns a monkey is gonna have 165 million dollars worth of insurance unless they own a zoo or they are Michael Jackson.
no she won't of course. she is a 77-year-old lady and this will simply ruin her life. oh well. she knew he was dangerous. but the victim does not really expect that kind of money. just a settlement, perhaps her medicals for life would be fair, at the least. btw, that monkey was a 200 lb. chimp, just in case you're not familiar with story. 
I believe the owner stabbed the monkey with a knife to try to get him off her friend. I would have probally done the same thing if I didn't have a gun. It's stupid to keep those type of animals as pets and you're fucking with nature by doing it.
Just a bullshit story for you but funny anyway.
An older guy I used to work with told us that when he was a kid, (he's gotta be 70 now and was a farm boy) there was a circus came around and one of the draws was that anyone that could wrestle this monkey for a few minutes got $5 or something. So all the big strong farm boys put up their money and got into the ring with the monkey.
This old guy I know said that the damn monkey just fucking manhandled him, it was like the thing was 10 times as strong and had 6 arms.
Maybe you had to be there, or at least hear the old boy tell the story, but pretty funny shit from back before animals had more rights than we do.
I like that.............. "I will slap the madmonkey out of you"
twisteroo Wrote:Maybe you had to be there, or at least hear the old boy tell the story, but pretty funny shit from back before animals had more rights than we do.
Thats the problem, leave the fucking animals alone. They should have rights, the right that humans can't capture them for pets or hunt them for anything other than food.
sally Wrote:twisteroo Wrote:Maybe you had to be there, or at least hear the old boy tell the story, but pretty funny shit from back before animals had more rights than we do.
Thats the problem, leave the fucking animals alone. They should have rights, the right that humans can't capture them for pets or hunt them for anything other than food.
And put diapers on them........do not forget the diapers! That just pisses them off.
Maggot Wrote:.........Came tearing out of a house and was eating the face off a woman and was yanking off her hands at the wrist. Would you try and stop it? How surreal would THAT be? And what if it started chasing you!:shock:
I have simply not thought about it much until I read the story about the "Lady with a Monkey" today.
If available, I would try dousing it in the face with water from a water hose. If that were not available, or didn't work, I would grab a long implement and start beating on it.
And hope like hell it didn't turn on me.