Mock

Where the hell is CN? Did you piss him off again with your down under roos?
Did you speak with brazen forked tongue?
If I curled my goatee at my lip line upwards and asked to be called Cuban Carlos could I rule Miami?

How was your summer?
Does it snow where you are?

How is your car running?
Do you like coffee?

Is your door locked?

No it wasn't me and yes he is seriously pissed off. I feel I would be breaching confidentiality if I give further details, but it aint pretty.

My summer was too short, we didn't really have much of a Summer here. I felt so smug last year when you guys were saying goodbye to your Summer because I thought we were going to have a rocking one, given I live near the beach. I think I went to the beach once, proper swimming type stuff. Yes it bloody snows and yes it is freezing cold, I have posted snow on the mountain for you in the past.

I got another car. I like real iced coffee, door is locked but the screen door aint.

You know I feel more comfortable with you calling me Aussiebitch.