Mock

T'was the night before Christmas, and God it was neat...The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat...The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook...It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude...Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube...When out on the lawn there arose such a cry...That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf...Tore back the shade while she played with herself...The moon on the crest of the snowman we built...Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear...But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer...With a fat little driver, half out of his sled...A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite...He yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right...Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz...Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post and don't hit the tree...Quit shaking the sleigh, cause I gotta go pee...They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub...Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on a shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter...As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder...I was donning my jacket to cover my ass...When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore...He looked like a bum and smelled like a whore..."That was some brothel," he said with a smile..."The reindeer are pooped and I'll just stay here awhile." He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink...Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink...I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee...The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack...But his toys were all gone and some new things were packed...The first thing he found was a pair of false tits...The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find...And a six pair of panties, the edible kind...A bra without nipples, a penis extension...And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string and all types of oils...A dildo so long, it lay in a coil. "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit...So I'll leave'em here and then I'll just split." He filled every stocking and then took his leave...With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve...He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead...Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch...Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"...The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout..."The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!" MERRY CHRISTMAS

Are you saying you are bi and you fucked a fat old man with a white beard?

Only you Liquid would come to that conclusion from that post.

Santa takes it up the ass?

F.U. Dont ask again Wrote:T'was the night before Christmas, and God it was neat...The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat...The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook...It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude...Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube...When out on the lawn there arose such a cry...That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf...Tore back the shade while she played with herself...The moon on the crest of the snowman we built...Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear...But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer...With a fat little driver, half out of his sled...A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite...He yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right...Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz...Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post and don't hit the tree...Quit shaking the sleigh, cause I gotta go pee...They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub...Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on a shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter...As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder...I was donning my jacket to cover my ass...When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore...He looked like a bum and smelled like a whore..."That was some brothel," he said with a smile..."The reindeer are pooped and I'll just stay here awhile." He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink...Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink...I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee...The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack...But his toys were all gone and some new things were packed...The first thing he found was a pair of false tits...The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find...And a six pair of panties, the edible kind...A bra without nipples, a penis extension...And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string and all types of oils...A dildo so long, it lay in a coil. "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit...So I'll leave'em here and then I'll just split." He filled every stocking and then took his leave...With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve...He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead...Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch...Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"...The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout..."The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!" MERRY CHRISTMAS

You don't really expect me to read all that shit do you?

Try posting it again with sentences, paragraphs and punctuation, three things that enable human eyes to read things.

You are so predictable Poophole.

F.U. Dont ask again Wrote:You are so predictable Poophole.

And so are you with your long winded, lame ass, schoolyard attempts at humour Billy Ray Beerbelly.

Ordinary Peephole Wrote:And so are you with your long winded, lame ass, schoolyard attempts at humour Billy Ray Beerbelly.

Now Poopy , is that any way to talk to a friend? What's wrong buddy? Med's not taking effect yet? Bad morning? To much laundry? What is it buddy ? You can tell us.

F.U. Dont ask again Wrote:

Ordinary Peephole Wrote:And so are you with your long winded, lame ass, schoolyard attempts at humour Billy Ray Beerbelly.

Now Poopy , is that any way to talk to a friend? What's wrong buddy? Med's not taking effect yet? Bad morning? To much laundry? What is it buddy ? You can tell us.

Think I got his little feathers ruffled.

That's ok I started a thread just for Poopy . It should cheer him up. GOT RHYME POOPY

F.U. Dont ask again Wrote:

Ordinary Peephole Wrote:And so are you with your long winded, lame ass, schoolyard attempts at humour Billy Ray Beerbelly.

Med's not taking effect yet? .

Now you are starting to sound like Newbietard.

::nuts::

I'm not the one on meds poopy. Now take your ass over to the rhyme thread and lets see what you got.

FU, that was absolutely the funniest fucking thing I have read in months!!!! ::lmao::::LOL::::rotfl::::thumbs::