Mock

class=medheadingPress Releases








class=headingsmallPenguin latest food - available
in abundance soon

class=bodyPenguins could be the Sunday roast of choice if a plan to use the world penguin surplus goes ahead, Goliath Food Chiefs announced yesterday. Penguins, long considered to be inedible by even the most hardiest of sailors, have recently been discovered to taste a lot like veal, if cooked for long enough.

The stupid looking seabird, once considered 'cute' and 'funny' but now known to be a violent desecrator of the beautiful unspoilt wilderness of Antarctica, will be available as a frozen dish by as early as next month. As part of the launch of this abundant new foodstuff, There will be a special penguin cookery show on GoliathChannel 16, as well as a highly amusing advertising campaign with the catchy phrase: 'P-p-p-prepare a p-p-penguin!'

Opposition for the new foodstuff has been minor, with only nine people (figures adjusted for accuracy) claiming that the penguin should not be eaten. "The thing is," said Mr White, Goliath's head nutritionist, "is that by eating only one penguin a week you can make up your entire recommended weekly intake of penguin, which we have decided is . . . one penguin."

Mrs Sutton of Sidcup was one of the first lucky housewives to be offered penguin and she told us: "At first, I was wary of the seabird. We had tried Great Auk and found it a bit stringy. But once we had eaten it, we will be having penguin every week - goodbye chicken!"

Claims from opposition groups that Goliath were simply 'raping Antarctica' are unfounded. None of the 3.2 million penguins currently available to consumers originate from the Goliath-owned continent, but are reared in an eco-friendly farm in Norfolk.

Think about it and get back to me ASAP.........Thank You.

Stuffing a penquin is an art, first you have to open the "asshole" thats tough, it's "watertight" like a frogs ass. Then you have to stuff the herring in lips first, pay close attention to this as the gills will get stuck around the penquins watertight anus hole. next you have to remove the beak (some may want to save this for the gravy) theycome off with a quik snap. You must also poke holes in the skin as they tend to blow up when the get hot. serve with iced white whine and bread crumbs. The webbed toes are considered a delicacy by the Abaloney tribe, but it is suggested that they are cooked at 450 deg for at least 2 hours with peanut oil.

And at last enjoy your meal, after all that you deserve it.

iced white whine

::lmao::

i'm cooking your butternut squishes you nutjob. um....you really are demented. ::nuts::

I'm watching my cat stalk a crow that is eating something in the yard. He seems extra brave this morning.......inching .....closer........closer.......shit! Another crow just landed and scared the cat under the car. They are HUGE.

Maggot Wrote:class=medheadingPress Releases








class=headingsmallPenguin latest food - available
in abundance soon

class=bodyPenguins could be the Sunday roast of choice if a plan to use the world penguin surplus goes ahead, Goliath Food Chiefs announced yesterday. Penguins, long considered to be inedible by even the most hardiest of sailors, have recently been discovered to taste a lot like veal, if cooked for long enough.

The stupid looking seabird, once considered 'cute' and 'funny' but now known to be a violent desecrator of the beautiful unspoilt wilderness of Antarctica, will be available as a frozen dish by as early as next month. As part of the launch of this abundant new foodstuff, There will be a special penguin cookery show on GoliathChannel 16, as well as a highly amusing advertising campaign with the catchy phrase: 'P-p-p-prepare a p-p-penguin!'

Opposition for the new foodstuff has been minor, with only nine people (figures adjusted for accuracy) claiming that the penguin should not be eaten. "The thing is," said Mr White, Goliath's head nutritionist, "is that by eating only one penguin a week you can make up your entire recommended weekly intake of penguin, which we have decided is . . . one penguin."

Mrs Sutton of Sidcup was one of the first lucky housewives to be offered penguin and she told us: "At first, I was wary of the seabird. We had tried Great Auk and found it a bit stringy. But once we had eaten it, we will be having penguin every week - goodbye chicken!"

Claims from opposition groups that Goliath were simply 'raping Antarctica' are unfounded. None of the 3.2 million penguins currently available to consumers originate from the Goliath-owned continent, but are reared in an eco-friendly farm in Norfolk.

Think about it and get back to me ASAP.........Thank You.

I knew this looked familiar! It's from the Tuesday Next books, which I can't recommend highly enough.

Well done for obscure literary reference! ::thumbs::