Mock

I was going to put this in the Daily Fuck Yous - but I thought this one merited a little discussion.

Over the years during the course of my work I have undertaken and given training in talking to people "at their level", not patronisingly and not over their heads. When I've found myself in awe of another's intellect I try to learn what I can.

Over the years I had a number of occasions where the person talking to me is not thick, but fick, truly fick. The engagement usually follows a similar format, in which the person tries to have me over - of which the latest was just this week. Briefly, more than a dozen attempts were made over the last few days by this person to convince me to do their whole garden, weed, mow and cut back hedging - any price I want but they can't pay right now. After a day of rejection as it was clear no money was forthcoming (or even there), the ante was raised - "Oh, I've just sent my kids to the bank to get your money, you can start now" - even, "Oh, we're going out now, you can do our garden while we're out and we'll pay you afterwards" in fact all sorts. This story is a whole lot more convoluted, and I'm sparing you a lot of pain by not including it.

It got me to thinking again - it is clear they have no intention of paying but they think somehow I'm going to kiss their arse for the chance to make their jungle into a garden. Do I really look that thick? Or am I arrogant to consider they are so thick they cannot see just how stupid they are, or do they think they are really smart?

In one of my Daily Fuck Yous, this thick guy reckons he can get 4 full sized quad bikes into a space of around 1.5m3 - not even enough space to store the tires of a single quad bike and yet he and his mother will try to convince you he could have been an Air Force pilot - I honestly wouldn't trust him with an Airfix kit.

Now I know where my intelligence is lacking. I know how to research. I know pretty much how to get by. I am less than a hair's-breadth away from telling these thick shits how it really is but I have a feeling it will have the same impact as water off a duck's back. So how do these people who really are just one stop above from being a cabbage reckon they are geniuses and can hoodwink the rest of us?

They sound like nice folks who would rather owe you than cheat you out of it. I see it alot, people that owe over 250,000 their credit limit is 200,000 and they still get product with the promise of payment. It gets sketchy after awhile and they never pay in full. On the other hand there are those that owe 100,000 and at the end of the month..... BAM!....payment within 30 days they are the smart ones and get 5% off. 5000.00 for paying quickly. One guy in R.I. owed over 20,000 for 2 yrs and was going to get written off then........BAM!.....full payment. it was like free money. (I think he died)
Does Emerill get copyright on the word BAM! ??

You may have a point, Maggot. 'Cept there was never any mention of owing plus
the deception that she'd sent her kids to get the money but never did. It was
those things that rang alarm bells for me. Thank fuck I'm not talking big money
like you, I think I'd have a coronary.

I think the copyright for BAM goes to the Batman series of the 1960s!
Din-ner, Din-ner, Din-ner, Bat-maaaan!


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That show was as campy as it gets.

They weren't pikies by any chance were they

At the end of the day, intelligence is very good but you still can't beat common sense.

Pikies? Don't know - but I got 'em down as Chancers.

Common Sense has always eluded me. And you're right, you can't beat it with a shitty stick.