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Full Version: God Hates Figs
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[Image: WHWn7.jpg]

That is all.


I'll never look at my fig tree the same way again.
I hate peeps more than I hate figs.
Peeps and the microwave.

Sweet revenge.
Figs are an abomination.
It is impossible to hide your nutsack with a fig leaf.
Don't you know ol' Adam knew that? Ancient Greeks considered only the circumcised man to be fully naked.
(06-23-2012, 07:07 PM)Maggot Wrote: [ -> ]It is impossible to hide your nutsack with a fig leaf.

Certainly fig leafs don't sag all the way down to your knees.
God needs to get with the times, damn it...

Figs have positive medical benefits for us. They have been used for thousands of years to fight ailments such as constipation, bronchitis, mouth disorders, wounds and gonorrhoea. In traditional Arabian medicine, figs are also used to treat conjunctivitis, leprosy and haemorrhoids. And don’t forget there was a fig tree in the Garden of Eden! Now scientists are saying they can prevent harmful bacteria in food, such as E-Coli and salmonella. So much so that US researchers are suggesting fig juice be added to food products to make them safer. So figs are no laughing matter now.

Eat, Love, Pray FIGS!
Hey wait a second...Didn't god create figs?
(06-23-2012, 08:33 PM)Riotgear Wrote: [ -> ]Hey wait a second...Didn't god create figs?

Fickle, right?

I guess when his son of a whore turned on the fig tree, God felt the need to back him up? Hard to figure out the haters...
Just because Mary had a taste for Roman...Centurian doesn't give us a right to call her a whore. Joseph a sucker? Sure. Jesus a bastard child primed from infancy to fulfill the will of The Sanhedrin bent on throwing off the yoke of Roman oppression? Of course. But whore? I think that's a little strong.
(06-23-2012, 09:25 PM)Riotgear Wrote: [ -> ]Just because Mary had a taste for Roman...Centurian doesn't give us a right to call her a whore. Joseph a sucker? Sure. Jesus a bastard child primed from infancy to fulfill the will of The Sanhedrin bent on throwing off the yoke of Roman oppression? Of course. But whore? I think that's a little strong.

It was mock on hate (not an obvious one, I see); not my view on Mary.

Recently read some accounts of Jesus's conception and Mary's role in his life by various scholars and analysts. Lots of contradictions surrounding it and immaculate conception vs. Mary being humanly impregnated before meeting Joseph and marrying him for fear of the dishonor her pregnancy would bring to herself and her family. Also interesting is how some view Mary as the mother of God, while others don't.

Even the fig tree encounter and why Jesus cursed it is much analyzed with some believing he was irritated by it since he was hungry and it had no fruit; and thus he caused it to whither immediately out of anger/hatred for its barreness. While others believe he knew it was out of season, and cursed it only to make it whither the next day as a means by which to reinforce his followers' faith.

I'm not religious, but curious to understand what others believe and sometimes research a bit. I'm far from being well versed in any of it. But, I find the differences between the versions of Mark, Matthew, Luke, etc...and the various intepretations as interesting as the stories themselves.

In short, I don't know if God hated figs, if Jesus cursed the fig tree out of hunger or hate, or whether or not Mary initially feared being outcast as a whore when initially approached by Gabriel.

I like figs and I like the character of Mary. Smiley_emoticons_smile
(06-23-2012, 09:25 PM)Riotgear Wrote: [ -> ]Just because Mary had a taste for Roman...Centurian doesn't give us a right to call her a whore. Joseph a sucker? Sure. Jesus a bastard child primed from infancy to fulfill the will of The Sanhedrin bent on throwing off the yoke of Roman oppression? Of course. But whore? I think that's a little strong.

Why don't you put a sock in your big mouth?You are not funny. Stupid idiot. Go back to school and learn how to get a proper sense of humour.

These creeps make me sick.
Whoops. Found a soft spot. "Stupid idiot" indeed. Heh heh heh.
(06-23-2012, 10:27 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: [ -> ]
(06-23-2012, 09:25 PM)Riotgear Wrote: [ -> ]Just because Mary had a taste for Roman...Centurian doesn't give us a right to call her a whore. Joseph a sucker? Sure. Jesus a bastard child primed from infancy to fulfill the will of The Sanhedrin bent on throwing off the yoke of Roman oppression? Of course. But whore? I think that's a little strong.

It was mock on hate (not an obvious one, I see); not my view on Mary.

Recently read some accounts of Jesus's conception and Mary's role in his life by various scholars and analysts. Lots of contradictions surrounding it and immaculate conception vs. Mary being humanly impregnated before meeting Joseph and marrying him for fear of the dishonor her pregnancy would bring to herself and her family. Also interesting is how some view Mary as the mother of God, while others don't.

Even the fig tree encounter and why Jesus cursed it is much analyzed with some believing he was irritated by it since he was hungry and it had no fruit; and thus he caused it to whither immediately out of anger/hatred for its barreness. While others believe he knew it was out of season, and cursed it only to make it whither the next day as a means by which to reinforce his followers' faith.

I'm not religious, but curious to understand what others believe and sometimes research a bit. I'm far from being well versed in any of it. But, I find the differences between the versions of Mark, Matthew, Luke, etc...and the various intepretations as interesting as the stories themselves.

In short, I don't know if God hated figs, if Jesus cursed the fig tree out of hunger or hate, or whether or not Mary initially feared being outcast as a whore when initially approached by Gabriel.

I like figs and I like the character of Mary. Smiley_emoticons_smile

I like the real whore better anyway. Magdalene FTW.
(06-23-2012, 10:42 PM)Riotgear Wrote: [ -> ]Whoops. Found a soft spot. "Stupid idiot" indeed. Heh heh heh.

yeh the soft spot is in your head asshole. no one is laughing.
I am.
(06-23-2012, 10:30 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: [ -> ]
(06-23-2012, 09:25 PM)Riotgear Wrote: [ -> ]Just because Mary had a taste for Roman...Centurian doesn't give us a right to call her a whore. Joseph a sucker? Sure. Jesus a bastard child primed from infancy to fulfill the will of The Sanhedrin bent on throwing off the yoke of Roman oppression? Of course. But whore? I think that's a little strong.

Why don't you put a sock in your big mouth?You are not funny. Stupid idiot. Go back to school and learn how to get a proper sense of humour.

These creeps make me sick.

QFT.
(06-23-2012, 11:54 AM)OnBendedKnee Wrote: [ -> ][Image: WHWn7.jpg]

That is all.

Happy EASTER!
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