Okay, another brand new topic from yet another brand new newbie! After reading a few of the other newbie posts, I'm getting brave enough to have a go at it myself, especially since making a first post seems to be a great enabler for expanded navigation in this forum.

To get some things out in the open right off the bat, so there will be no questions, misconceptions or hallucinations about them: LC and Duchess neither need nor want a pic of my ass. Neither does anyone else in here, no matter how badly they may think otherwise. However, for a fee, I will slip into a nice, soft...pair of white pants and become one of the best slide or movie projection screens on the West side of the Mississippi. No guarantees are expressed or implied; you may or may not see the entire width of the images projected.

Nobody here wants to see a pic of my neck. It was sliced open for me a few years back by a nice man who wanted, and received, money. While it was a nice, clean slice, and an extremely nice patch job was done on it, I do have about a five inch scar that does nothing to enhance the visual observation of said neck by people other than myself. It doesn't bother me, because hey, I'm alive to see it. Damn good plus if you ask me!

If you absolutely have to see pics of some sort of my anatomy, I've got a couple of pretty good shots of both my kneecaps and sneakers brought into being during my learning spell with a new digital camera I recently received. It's the best anyone's gonna get of me, but only as an absolutely last ditch effort to save a life, if need be.

I've managed to land here by falling through the cracks, more or less. I was researching updates to the JonBenet Ramsey case, and clicked on a link that brought me here for the first time. I've been eyeballing this forum for a couple of weeks, got entangled in reading the information on Celena Cass, and finally caved and registered. So now I respectfully submit to you my humble 'first'.

FWIW, I like fuzzy critters, too. I've got a nestfull of gray squirrels in my carport. Deer, bear, skunks, possums, and wild birds of all sorts wandering around my back yard, squirrely neighbors that occasionally wander around my front yard (my two fuzzy, large barking units usually fix that PDQ, though) and two fuzzy interior decorators that think everything in the house simply must be shredded and/or covered in fur.

This forum caught my eye because it seems to be populated with folks who are interested in the truth, and not ten thousand posts of "God bless mummy and daddy because I think they're nice and couldn't ever be mean to little Sally and Tommy" and another five thousand "My thoughts and prayers are with the poor dead grandmother and her family". While I believe that thoughts and prayers have their place, I'm damn sick and tired of checking into a forum for information and having to weed out the bushelfulls of bullshit just to find a single, simple nugget of truth. My odds of finding nuggets seem a lot better here than anywhere else I've seen, so far.

While all this is probably TMI, it's what I've got for now.

Thanks, everybody, and happy Newbie hunting!

Hello. I've been waiting for you.

i'm impressed with her ability to form coherent sentences and spell correctly! welcome to Mock!

You're just glad she said no to the ass pictures.

When you get made a citizen I will show you where the ass kisser thread is.

I'm not reading that.

Because I don't give a shit.

You will have to forgive cracker it's having a gender crisis.

(08-07-2011, 07:49 PM)IMaDick Wrote: When you get made a citizen

*thinks* and you talk about me?

(08-07-2011, 07:59 PM)JsMom Wrote: [
*thinks* and you talk about me?

I never talk about you in a good way.

(08-07-2011, 07:51 PM)IMaDick Wrote: You will have to forgive cracker it's having a gender crisis.

Don't apologize for me.

Why does that chick think people who don't know her want to read her soliloquy?

I just don't give a shit and I'm not reading it.

How many of you losers read all that?

(08-07-2011, 08:02 PM)IMaDick Wrote:

(08-07-2011, 07:59 PM)JsMom Wrote: [
*thinks* and you talk about me?

I never talk about you in a good way.

so....Carry on with your bullshit.

(08-07-2011, 08:04 PM)Cracker Wrote: How many of you losers read all that?

I skimmed. She's a real mess, an ass as wide as Texas and a scar on her neck from ear to ear.

(08-07-2011, 08:10 PM)sally Wrote: I skimmed. She's a real mess, an ass as wide as Texas and a scar on her neck from ear to ear.

Very nice.

She's probably a Furry who loves Jesus.

The newbies sure are some stuck up sumbitches, we go through all of the trouble of greeting them with a proper mock welcome and nothing,nada,zip.

They all want to join but none of them have a mockers spirit.

This is no way to make friends and influence people.

I stole that line from L. Ron Hubbard

I find it amusing that adults are afraid of other adults they don't know who are hundreds or thousands of miles away.

They should be more afraid of the dude that does their lawn or their husband. I'm not coming to their house to chop off their head.

Especially with gas prices the way they are.

(08-07-2011, 08:46 PM)Cracker Wrote: They should be more afraid of the dude that does their lawn or their husband.

They should be afraid if they find a dude doing their husband.

Thank you, Duchess, I got here as soon as I could!

'Twas Brillig and the Slithy Toves,
Did Gyre and Gimble in the wabe
All Mimsy were the Borogoves,'
And the Mome Wrath's Outgrabe.

Thank you for your kind welcome, LC, I appreciate it.

Jabberwocky! literate too! i am so happy!

Thank you, IMaDick. I'd be proud to go to any topic you wish to lead me to.

Reminds me of some old cowboy wisdom. I once saw an old grizzled cowboy type reach down, dip his finger in a fresh cow pie, then run his finger over his lips. After I choked down a nice, big gag reflex, I asked him why he'd just done that. He replied that he was out of chapstick, and this would keep him from getting chapped lips. I asked him "Um, I see...does it soften the lips?" He replied "No, but it sure will keep ya from licken' 'em!"