I can't stop thinking about this. Every freakin' night it's the same damn thing. I'm not old, I'm not sick, I don't lead the kind of lifestyle that makes me think my death is just around the corner yet I think about my death daily. Does anyone else do that?

try to replace that with "I'm going to live!".

you're too young and healthy to be dwelling on it.

i consider it in pragmatic ways, i need to get a will done blah blah. and it pisses me off all the stuff i'll miss when i do.

For about 6 months after i had my heart attack I felt like a ticking time bomb, like I could die any fucking second, I have since figured out that there is a not a fucking thing a person can do about any of it so each day has become about living instead.

I was a serious individual for way to many years my heart attack was stress related, so now I just pretty much say fuck it to most things that would have stressed me out before.

You do have a conscience! It's do to all the fucked up shit you say to other's online and you know you could go to hell for it.

*Ducks* because I know I'm going to catch hell for that comment.

I think subconsciencely you worry about death. Just like your fear of flying.

(03-30-2012, 03:08 PM)JsMom Wrote: It's do to all the fucked up shit you say to other's online and you know you could go to hell for it.

(03-30-2012, 03:16 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(03-30-2012, 03:08 PM)JsMom Wrote: It's do to all the fucked up shit you say to other's online and you know you could go to hell for it.

Just tryin' to help.

Y so violent?

I am not violent.

I hope Cracker comes in & gives me that lil' Buddha thing. I wish I would have kept it the first time.

(03-30-2012, 04:50 PM)Duchess Wrote:

I am not violent.

I hope Cracker comes in & gives me that lil' Buddha thing. I wish I would have kept it the first time.

^^^^ I was talking about your above smilie.

Duchess to answer your question directly: No, I never dwell on the possibility of death. With a mostly healthy lifestyle why are you? I prefer to enjoy and be thankful for each day as it comes. No, I am not religious.

I am in my 50's. I have always been a productive citizen of this world. It sounds like you have been the same. It is now time to enjoy life and not worry about what might happen.

Getting off my soap box and putting on my Mock hat: Are you paranoid or something?

(03-30-2012, 07:15 PM)Harvest Moon Wrote: Are you paranoid or something?

No, if I were I would have something to attribute this ridiculous anxiety to. I'm trying to remember if my fear of flying came about the same time this bullshit did, I've always blamed THAT on 9/11.

Thanks, Mockers, you're well worth the price of a shrink.

(03-30-2012, 07:36 PM)Duchess Wrote: No, if I were I would have something to attribute this ridiculous anxiety to. I'm trying to remember if my fear of flying came about the same time this bullshit did, I've always blamed THAT on 9/11.

Thanks, Mockers, you're well worth the price of a shrink. [/i][/size]

Were you close to one of the ⁹⁄₁₁ sites? I was living in an area close to NYC at the time. I strongly remember my panic and wanting to get my kids out of school so we could all be close.

Putting on my shrink hat, no anxiety is ridiculous. It is a feeling that you are having and it is very real to you. That is valid. So now, figure out when it started and learn from there.

I was always terribly afraid of the dark. When I was in my mid-30's I tied my fear to the fact that our house was broken into when I was a child. My parent's never told me that it was a neighborhood teenager until I got older, but I was "taught" inadvertently that danger was always near at a young age. Now, I have no problem with the dark or even sleeping outside, (as long as I have a tent to keep the bugs out.) The boogie man no longer haunts me.

I think about it often. I think it's even worse when you have kids, for me anyway.

I definitely have some anxieties. I hate flying (I do it, with some help from xanax), living in California I don't like having to stop my car under concrete structures (you just know the big one is going to strike, right then) and I really dislike driving on the bay bridge. Oh, and I don't like heights much either (I won't be the one leaning over the cliff edge for a better view).

With regards to morbid thoughts about my own death, I always thought about that (I remember when I was a teenager speculating that I wouldn't live past 36 for some reason) but those thoughts definitely increased after losing my brother, grandmother and dad within the space of about one year. It was very annoying waking up and thinking "oh hey, you're going to die...probably from cancer"!

I always attributed it to being a control freak (which I am) but when I realized that behind being a control freak lies anxiety it was like a light bulb went on and I was able to deal with it.

Now I just pop a xanax every time I get in the car.

Probably doesn't apply to Duchess.

Why Pot Smokers Are Paranoid
Paranoia is one of the most unpleasant “side effects” of marijuana. It’s also a key experience shared by marijuana smokers and people with schizophrenia. But exactly how does smoking a joint cause the feeling that dark forces are conspiring to do you wrong?



Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/04/06/wh...z1qeHH1qRf


I kid.

(03-30-2012, 07:54 PM)Harvest Moon Wrote: Were you close to one of the ⁹⁄₁₁ sites?

No. I had always flown for work & pleasure before then & that day was an in my face reminder that I would have no control over any situation that could arise up there & I thought about the sheer terror those passengers must have felt, I was never again comfortable flying.

User: Why Pot Smokers Are Paranoid


User, I read something that parallels that article but it's about Cocaine. It says that dopamine is the learning neurotransmitter and it is associated with the reward center of the brain. The europhoria the crack user gets is compounded by this aspect of the brain. It makes crack one of the harder if not the hardest addiction to overcome.

I don't have anxieties for myself. But, I have major anxiety about people I love dying or being hurt or even being sad. Losing someone I really loved has made me even more anxious about losing others; feeling of helplessness.

I think having some anxiety about dying yourself when there's no immediate danger of it is probably somewhat of a good sign, if you manage it. Seems to indicate that you are enjoying and embracing life completely and realize that you have a lot to lose.

HairOfTheDog: People we really love live on inside of us. If we don't say what we want to say while they are here, it's very hard to complete the relationship when they are gone.

And about dying, Duchess, the younger a person is the harder it is to accept dying. It gets easier as you get older and death in the end is expected and can be welcomed. That is when the body is worn and decaying, something youth cannot fathom.

Yes I think about your death every day.

Just kidding. I think about everyone's death every day until noon, then I think about lunch.

On Wednesdays and Sundays I think about my girlfriend because I think I'm legally obligated to.

Then I think about other people's girlfriends because I don't believe in God and therefore do not fear the punishment of Hell.

Sometimes humans can see into the future like deja Vu we see our own death sometimes it becomes a reality and the closer to death you are the more you think about it. There have been many cases of cognitive judgment that have become reality. Do you have a will?

(03-30-2012, 08:52 PM)Maggot Wrote: Sometimes humans can see into the future like deja Vu we see our own death sometimes it becomes a reality and the closer to death you are the more you think about it. There have been many cases of cognitive judgment that have become reality. Do you have a will?

Thanks a bunch.

Did you listen to the video I posted? Can you play that?