i just got back from visiting my mom in an assisted living. (nice one). initially decision for her to go there caused a family rift w/my sis and I (later i was proved wrong) i was fighting to keep her in her home and have an aid pop in to bathe/feed her couple hours a day. but my sister is saying, "what if she falls during the night and no one is there?" she would need someone ²⁴⁄₇ care and financially that wasn't option.

i can't eat there... slumped over, they shuffle around, etc. i must be an awful person but i think if it got time to leave my home for medical reasons, it's time to pull out the stashed xanex stock.

Are you either:
1) carry me out of my home in a pine box or
2) i'll want the socialization, laundry done, 3 squares, bridge, bingo, basketweaving, assisted living is for me in my elderly years.

off thread topic...but i missed you guys cause no internet or time to log on Mock...geesh...i even missed cracker!

My grandfather was recently admitted to a nursing home, that I fought tooth and nail, literally kicking and screaming. He is 96 and my grandmother was taking care of him full time and she just couldn't anymore. I understand the reason for it, but I worked as an office manager in a nursing home and I know what goes on when family isn't around to see. I went to see him yesterday and left crying. He'd been in the hospital after falling and said he just wanted to die and now, with him being in that place, he will. It will kill him. I would rather be put out of my misery than be stuck in a nursing home.

Go ahead and pick your funeral song while you are making the big decisions.

(06-25-2012, 07:01 AM)pspence Wrote: i even missed cracker!

Very nice.

Someday I'm really going to be gone and then you people will miss me.

Promises, promises

(06-25-2012, 10:32 AM)Cracker Wrote: Go ahead and pick your funeral song while you are making the big decisions.

(06-25-2012, 07:01 AM)pspence Wrote: i even missed cracker!

Very nice.

Someday I'm really going to be gone and then you people will miss me.

You've been gone before.

When I can't take care of myself I'm dead in my mind anyway.

It doesn't matter where the meat that's left gets put.

Odd that I don't really think about being old & needing care, I only think about my death.

I had just talked to the owner of my work, he is about 86 and just barely gets by. He cannot drive, he is in a walker, his daughter drives him into work 2-3 times a week and he hobbles around .
I talked to him on Friday last week and all he could talk about was the 36-40% GP we we getting and how great it was. I felt kinda sad because here is this old buck about ready to keel over and instead of enjoying things all he still cares about is the money, not hows the kids, wife etc. Its all about the moola. I do not want to be that way.
I'm not such a workaholic and I would rather mess around with my hobbies, I guess work is this guys hobby.

No, I will not make it into a home.

If you want to go to an assisted living facility here then you need to be able to afford about $3500 per month for a nice apartment, $2500 if you share an apartment. It would probally be cheaper just to stay in your own home and have a nurse come in. If you're poor, however, then you end up in a stinking nursing home and hopefully don't get beat up by a big black woman.

If I get to where I can't stay in my home and don't have the resources to go to a top notch facility, I will take a bottle of Unisom and drink a bottle of wine and say good bye.

My grandmother is 99 and she just went in to assisted living a year or two ago. Except for family that lived nearby, she had been on her own for a long time (my grandpa passed away when I was a baby). She likes it. She has her own "apartment" but she likes the social aspect.

My other grandmother went in to assisted living at the age of 99 and died just before her 100^th birthday. She hated it and wrote often of feeling lonely.

For myself? I'd probably hate it but I'd rather that than live with my kids or something. *shudders*

I used to work in an assisted living center. I would not want most of the people who worked there taking care of me, or a loved one. The majority of them were there for the paycheck, not because they actually wanted to be there.
That being said, I would go for a senior apartment community. I had an elderly aquaintance living in one and I visited often. She liked it there, and I liked what I saw. She had 24 hour maintance, hosekeeping service if she wanted. She could either cook in her apartment or go to the dining room and eat with others. She usually did breakfast and lunch in her place, and dinner with the group.
There was a nice library, excercise room, activities and all. She could even keep her cat.

My MIL lived in an Assisted Living Community for 6-1/2 years. (It was very nice) She really liked it there, and was treated very well. She had 24 hour supervision, ALC nurse to dispense her meds, house keeping & laundry service, hair & nail salon. All kinds of social events "every" day, including in the lobby, "sing along's" of old favorite tunes they all knew. Her apartment was a good size.

The last year and a half there she slowly started to get dementia. And over time she started having trouble to recognize me and even her own daughter. It was very sad to see her continual demise. She kinda knew she knew us, but was not definitely certain.

Well after 6-1/2 years, the money ($4,700 /mo) ran out, so she had to go into a Nursing Home. Surprisingly, it was a very nice place, no really, it was checked out and came highly recommended. Her dementia progressed to the point of her not knowing where she was, and did not recognize anyone. Truly a heart breaking situation. Fortunately, she only lasted there 10 months. May my MIL (the best MIL a SIL could ever hope for) R.I.P.

(Me, I'll take Assisted Living, and hopefully check out from there)

I have worked in aged care facilities and I have worked in community nursing also. By far, the longer the person lives at home the better. It is better for them and their quality of life. Promoting independence keeps them active and happy. Also, they are free. Free to do what they want, when they want.

The argument for 'what if she falls?' = you can get an alarm buzzer that she can wear around her neck and activate in case of an emergency. With community nursing, the person can have assisted hygiene, nutrition, and medication management, and yet still maintain their independence and quality of life.

Aged care facilities have rules. All sorts of rules that can infringe on someone's life. It may be appropriate and have a place in some instances, but in the majority of situations it should be assisted living at home.

By the way, the community nursing that I worked with, was the Community Dementia Team. These people were diagnosed with dementia and were still living independently. Sometimes, with their families and sometimes alone.

I'm well off, but I wouldn't say rich. If the kids want my money then they better be prepared to take shifts.

If it makes you feel better Sally I would change your diaper........you should become a vegan by the way.

(06-25-2012, 09:55 PM)sally Wrote: I'm well off, but I wouldn't say rich. If the kids want my money then they better be prepared to take shifts.

You need to hire professionals to come in and assist you. Don't expect your children to wipe your arse if they want to be remembered in your will. That's blackmail, or brownmail. I'm terrible, I always laugh at my own jokes.

Talisman

(06-25-2012, 10:06 PM)aussiefriend Wrote:

(06-25-2012, 09:55 PM)sally Wrote: I'm well off, but I wouldn't say rich. If the kids want my money then they better be prepared to take shifts.

You need to hire professionals to come in and assist you. Don't expect your children to wipe your arse if they want to be remembered in your will. That's blackmail, or brownmail. I'm terrible, I always laugh at my own jokes.

That was my point, hiring someone to take care of you comes with a big price depending on your condition and how long you live. I'd like to leave my children a nice estate without burdening them, but sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Screw cake...........think carrots and broccoli!