Hello everyone,

Perhaps this will be the lamest post you've seen here; perhaps it's even the lamest post on this entire forum (YAY for me! >cough<); but I digress.

‘Something brought you to Mock: why not make an intro post and tell us what it was?’ (erm …or words to that effect, anyhow) OK: here goes.

I was just watching a boxing match live on TV here (the UK, on Channel 5) and noted a lot of branding from what looked like a soft drinks firm named LIQUID. (I'm sure the regulars here are giggling already, right?) The ring said their URL was www.liquid.com, so I typed it into my trusty Iron browser.

This took me to the site of Liquid TV, well-known (well, to me, anyhow) graphics/media company who amongst other things Do Stuff for ESPN, Discovery Channel, the UK's 2012 Paralympic coverage, etc., etc. (try the URL yourself and let me know what you get).
Strike one.

Checking I hadn't stuffed up the URL, I then Googled for Liquid Drinks. This took me to Liquid Drinks Company in Illinois. Possibly close, but not with a stylised Q logo like I saw on the canvas of the boxing ring.
Strike two.

I then tried Googling for Liquid Trademark, reasoning that because trhe company log had a nice ® after it, that would be a reasonable search term. The second hit in the list was of course this:
http:///http://mockforums.net/thread-1149.html
Strike three, but obviously I had stumbled upon (geddit?!?!?!!!) a like-minded bunch of, uh, individuals.

So that's my story. Pathetic, eh? However, it is at least true. And even though I'm not a foot-fetishist, there's something very horny about Duchess's avatar picture. How's that for honesty?

Oh, and if anyone here has the faintest idea how I find out about this ‘Liquid’ drinks company, please do reply to this. The only other clue I can give you is that they seem to have a range of about six excitingly(?)-coloured drinks in their range.

Actually … it's really annoying me that ‘Liquid’ seem to be a) untraceable (?), and b) are touting the wrong URL on national TV. And I hope this doesn't turn out to another frustrating month-long hunt like the one I had some years ago when a friend challenged me to name the pilot of Supercar (an early Gerry Anderson series made — and watched by me — when I was about five years old). [And yes, that was some years prior to the Interweb being the rich source of trivia it is today.]
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BFN
Zaphod

(12-08-2012, 08:08 PM)zaphod Wrote: this will be the lamest post you've seen here; perhaps it's even the lamest post on this entire forum

...not by a long shot.

[FX: doffs cap and bows]

Ma'am is too kind! Thanks for the reply.
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BFN
Zaphod

Hey! Hey! Ma'am? I may be old as dirt but I'm still not old enough to be called ma'am, watch it, you whippersnapper.

Well, I'm 56, so I'm delighted to be called a whippersnapper!

Seriously though, “ma'am” was intended respectfully. I couldn't remember the correct term of address for a duchess, and I couldn't be arsed getting up from this chair and going over to the shelf to consult my copy of Brewer's to check what the correct term is.

Actually … I've belatedly remembered that “ma'am” is the term of address for Her Majesty QE2 (i.e. Liz II: the sequel). Oops! Serves me right for being a lazy old curmudgeon.
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BFN
Zaphod

(12-08-2012, 08:34 PM)zaphod Wrote: I couldn't remember the correct term of address for a duchess

There are a number of things that people like to call me. Nazi Admin. usually heads the list closely followed by, that bitch Duchess.

What a coincidence! Many people call me a grammar Nazi.

But for the none of you who are interested, and courtesy of Whitaker's Almanac (and not Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable as I first thought), the correct form of address for a Duchess is Your Grace (in conversation) or Her Grace (as in: Her Grace, the Duchess of Mock).

If I were writing a formal letter to a duchess, though, the correct salutation would (ironically!) be Dear madam.

Isn't this fun? And educational?

(LONG and VERY silent pause …)

Oh. Just me, then. >sigh<
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BFN
Zaphod

I'm currently driving and posting but when I'm no longer at risk of killing myself and others, I will reply. Hope you understand.

@username: If your drive-by posting was to me, then yes of course: no problem.

But as it's ten past one a.m. here in the UK, I'm off to bed now. I'll look forward to reading your reply when I get up tomorrow.

Nighty night, everyone!

PS: I'm also looking forward to contributing to the thread on Jacintha Saldanha; there are some possible factors surrounding that tragic death which may be less obvious to readers outside the UK.
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BFN
Zaphod

(12-08-2012, 09:15 PM)zaphod Wrote: Zaphod

I like this guy, can we keep him? Can we huh?

(12-09-2012, 06:04 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: can we keep him? Can we huh?

Yes. Merry Christmas.

(12-09-2012, 06:04 PM)aussiefriend Wrote:

(12-08-2012, 09:15 PM)zaphod Wrote: Zaphod

I like this guy, can we keep him? Can we huh?

You have to feed it and clean up after it if it shits in the forum.

Also, please start training it not to type BFN after every damn post.

Thanks!

(12-08-2012, 08:19 PM)zaphod Wrote: ......very horny about Duchess's avatar picture

I hear ya! <leg hump>

(12-09-2012, 06:48 PM)username Wrote: Also, please start training it not to type BFN after every damn post.

Well, that's my sign-off: it means 'bye for now.' I've been using it on numerous fora since about 1986.

Do signatures really bother you that much, username?
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BFN
Zaphod

Hello. Ignore User. She is the resident Ho. She is just bad that Aussie beat her to the flirting.

There is a special collar we could get for him, and everytime he types 'BFN' he gets a little zap. It will train him to stop.

Cool...a new grammar Nazi. The position needs to be filled, so how about someone who will try to make all us Yanks talk like Brits again?

Plus the thought of gossip about the Royals (not about the tragic nurse..that was just sad).

Welkom howp u downt staye.