(05-24-2013, 02:22 PM)Mohammed Wrote:

(05-24-2013, 12:58 PM)Cynical Ninja Wrote: Technically you are a “gweilo” Cantonese for “ghost man”.

The chinese apply it to any foreigner who doesn't do the things they do like eating anything that moves, staring and spitting on the floor.

And how the freakin pumpkin would you know that?! As you say it's Cantonese, thereby mainly around the Hong Kong area as well as a small village in the south of Kuala Lumpur, so far from "Chinese". And if they stare at you it's because they are amazed by your most wondrous looks that are clearly contradicting their believes in Fung Shui.

Regarding racial issues I just follow one of the wisest man on the planet, Steve Colbert. I don't believe in race, be it black, yellow or whatever other colour there might be, and their stereotyping. I just treat everybody like they are white and all is well.

They don't just speak Cantonese in Hong Kong its spoken throughout south eastern china my sausage swallowing mock amigo.

I went backpacking in china during my gap year and Chinese people do eat anything that moves, do stare at you especially if you are a foreigner in fact one of my mates was using the local “facilities” consisting of a hole in the ground. He looked up and there was a small family standing there watching him take a dump. And Chinese people spit EVERYWHERE including on the floors of restaurants as we witnessed numerous times.

You do realise Stephen Colberts TV persona is a comic creation don't you? You aren't supposed to like or admire him you are supposed to regard him as an idiot not consider him an object of admiration fuckwit.

(05-24-2013, 02:22 PM)Mohammed Wrote: Regarding racial issues I just follow one of the wisest man on the planet, Steve Colbert. I don't believe in race, be it black, yellow or whatever other colour there might be, and their stereotyping. I just treat everybody like they are white and all is well.

Colbert almost always makes me smile, Mo.

Very wise words about racial issues, indeed.

Equally wise is his view regarding tolerance and acceptance of religious diversity without bias:

"And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion — be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior."

Colbert and Steward, my two favourites!

Don't know how it's done in your part of the world but over here they come one after the other.

Now, to my worldly humanity saving friend.

(05-24-2013, 02:39 PM)Cynical Ninja Wrote: They don't just speak Cantonese in Hong Kong its spoken throughout south eastern china my sausage swallowing mock amigo.

I went backpacking in china during my gap year and Chinese people do eat anything that moves, do stare at you especially if you are a foreigner in fact one of my mates was using the local “facilities” consisting of a hole in the ground. He looked up and there was a small family standing there watching him take a dump. And Chinese people spit EVERYWHERE including on the floors of restaurants as we witnessed numerous times.

You do realise Stephen Colberts TV persona is a comic creation don't you? You aren't supposed to like or admire him you are supposed to regard him as an idiot not consider him an object of admiration fuckwit.

Ahhh, you went back packing then Shadow Whisperer. It clearly must have been a long time ago. You must go with the times. By now it is Mandarin that you will find spoken mostly even in that former capital of Cantonese, called Hong Kong, where unlike you, I spend my days having afternoon teas at the Peninsula or wiggle my scrumptious butt to the beats at the Grand Hyatt's nightclub, while having a Martini, shaken not stirred, with Jacky Chan.

6 fabulous years covered in Dim Sum, Char Siu and roasted Duck with my apartment in Clearwater Bay. Good times.

And trust me, I would have also been staring if I walk into my garden and some ignorant British pom with a backpack would be taking a dumb on the hole I've just been digging to plant some Rosemary.

But yes, Bejing was famous for the fact that you don't walk but slide thru the city due to the "spitting" factor. But from what I hear, also that has changed by now.

They do get civilized slowly old chap.

Its “Jackie” Chan not “Jacky” Chan you Nazi nicompoop.

I keep forgetting nobody is as well travelled as you, hmmmm “well travelled” one could almost rephrase that as “transient wanderer with no roots or ties to any given place” what are constantly running from fatboy? The taxman perhaps?

Now that you've married a local raghead and fathered a half raghead sprog perhaps you will be laying down some roots in raghead land? Well maybe until the taxman catches up with you again eh?

To me he is Jacky, he lets the rest of the world call him Jackie. We're deep like that.

Just because you haven't moved that creepy butt of yours further than a few backpacking trips earlier on in a time when dark shapes were just that in your eyes, doesn't mean that one can not put up roots on their travels. Far from it. What is even better is that due to the business one was in, most of those travels took me to places far away from that filthy and foul backpackers crowd. You know, a Ritz Carlton here, a Shangri La there. So my roots are somewhat 5 star one could say.

Hence my brother being in Bali. It's like our second home. But sadly it is going down I must say.

It is those shadows giving you their intellectual input, is it not? Or else it is somewhat hard to explain calling my Elle a raghead. A curious South African mix of various cultures perhaps, but raghead? And why this sudden fixation regarding the taxman? I have left my good old Sauerbraten and Dumplings when I was 21. Not only is that a rather long run but even more so, at 21 the taxman didn't give a fuck about me. Unfortunately so, I agree, but that is the God's honest truth. I arrived in Hong Kong with a suit case (NOT backpack!!) and a few thousand dollars in my pocket. That was it.

But no, no roots here, just plain cash to dig a hole somewhere to set up our next roots. And hopefully no oblivious English man with a backpack will walk by and take a dump in it. They are known for such you know.

Now, is it only your own shadow talking to you or is it also others? You know what they say, don't listen to strangers!!

He hasn't been known as “Jacky” Chan since the 1970s and you weren't in Hong Kong in the 1970s so he will always be “Jacky” to you but your are technically incorrect once again.

“Shadows shadows shadows” yadda yadda yadda that was over FOUR years ago dumkopf please strive to provide the class with something fresher why don't you?

I am well travelled myself sorry to burst your bubble I have lived in 5 different countries so far in my life but there is only one GREAT Britain.

Oh and talking about GREAT Britain another GREAT Briton celebrated his 100^th birthday yesterday. The oldest surviving member of bomber command, he firebombed the crap out of your grandparents. Churchill did warn you the krauts would “reap the whirlwind” after the blitz didn't he? And how! It sure as hell was “hot town” in Dresden that night!

South African?, Kraut?, austrohungarian? Raghead? Your sprog is going to grow up very confused it is to be hoped she doesn't become radicalized as a teenager just to get back at her fat infidel daddy and his drinking buddies. Knocking back the firewater in a Muslim country as your raghead minions look upon your drunken kafir behaviour with a mixture of bemusement and utter contempt.

“Allah hu akbar daddy!” BOOM!

I would not be surprised if these two ended up paired together during the 1^st two rounds of the US Open.

My grandparents where far away when all the bombing happened over the good old Kaiserreich you illiterate twit, or didn't you get the memo where it said I'm originally from the wonderful countryside of Hungaria and only use the German passport out of convenience?!

Then again, you are excused as you just came back after being put away for a bit in a rubber room.

Anyway ....

(05-25-2013, 04:45 AM)Cynical Ninja Wrote: “Shadows shadows shadows” yadda yadda yadda that was over FOUR years ago dumkopf please strive to provide the class with something fresher why don't you?

.... that's what they all say. "It was aaaages ago!!" So? Shadows, balls, foreskin, same thing. Doesn't matter what, but obviously something is giving you some seriously curious information mate. Like I said, that time the German's had a mad man trying to lead them to glory, now they finally listen to the business end of things instead of all that black leather macho hooha. Europe is ours and you will be too soon.

Just check London tonight, guess who's playing. Surely not some dumb Premier League chaps. It has begun my mentally disfigured and mislead friend! You not seeing it is just another sign that you're still stuck in the shadows. Get the pun?!

Well, at least our ragheads here look upon us with a mixture of bemusement, however, clearly the contempt part they keep until they reach your soiled shores, judging by all that butchering going on there in front of your door, don't you think?

Then again, if I would live in a country where the people just take dumps in any hole and wonder why I'm looking at them with an astonished and surprised expression on my face, I think I would also feel like cutting them up after some time.

Hand me another Gin Tonic my dear, these scones are dreadful!

(05-25-2013, 05:25 AM)thekid65 Wrote: I would not be surprised if these two ended up paired together during the 1^st two rounds of the US Open.

I heard a couple people here say that too.

(05-25-2013, 05:39 AM)Mohammed Wrote: My grandparents where far away when all the bombing happened over the good old Kaiserreich you illiterate twit, or didn't you get the memo where it said I'm originally from the wonderful countryside of Hungaria and only use the German passport out of convenience?!

Then again, you are excused as you just came back after being put away for a bit in a rubber room.

Anyway ....

(05-25-2013, 04:45 AM)Cynical Ninja Wrote: “Shadows shadows shadows” yadda yadda yadda that was over FOUR years ago dumkopf please strive to provide the class with something fresher why don't you?

.... that's what they all say. "It was aaaages ago!!" So? Shadows, balls, foreskin, same thing. Doesn't matter what, but obviously something is giving you some seriously curious information mate. Like I said, that time the German's had a mad man trying to lead them to glory, now they finally listen to the business end of things instead of all that black leather macho hooha. Europe is ours and you will be too soon.

Just check London tonight, guess who's playing. Surely not some dumb Premier League chaps. It has begun my mentally disfigured and mislead friend! You not seeing it is just another sign that you're still stuck in the shadows. Get the pun?!

Well, at least our ragheads here look upon us with a mixture of bemusement, however, clearly the contempt part they keep until they reach your soiled shores, judging by all that butchering going on there in front of your door, don't you think?

Then again, if I would live in a country where the people just take dumps in any hole and wonder why I'm looking at them with an astonished and surprised expression on my face, I think I would also feel like cutting them up after some time.

Hand me another Gin Tonic my dear, these scones are dreadful!

Make your mind up colonel Klink, first you say you only have a German passport for convenience then you say Europe is “ours”? Sounds to me like you have a serious self identity crisis Adolf. I wouldn't worry about krautland taking over Europe anytime soon either they've already tried that twice and had their asses handed to them both times.

Great Britain probably won't be a member of the poisioned eurozone for much longer anyway. Theres going to a public referendum on whether or not Great Britain should stay in the EU and it looks odds on that the great British public are going to overwhelmingly say “nein”. We prefer to stand on our own two feet instead of bailing out shitholes like Spain, Greece and bog trotter land. We will leave that to the krauts from now on we will move forward on our own backed by a slowly growing economy and one of the strongest currencies in the world.

As for being hated by the ragheads? Good its correct they should hate us we've been kicking their sand nigger asses in Iraq and Afghanistan for years now. The soldier that was killed in London will be avenged, we will just carpet bomb a few more farms and villages in Afghanistan. Or take out an entire wedding or funeral party with an apache gunship hovering 3 miles away. Like shooting raghead fish in a barrel.

As for the football? Its about time the krauts got there act together they havent won a European trophy in years.

For the official record number of european cups won by kraut teams? 6. Number of european cups won by English teams? 12 TWICE as many!

Looks like you've got a lot of catching up to do fatboy. Why do you care about German football anyway? I thought you only had a German passport for convenience? Let's look at the state of Hungarian football shall we? Oh yeah its a complete fucking shambles!

See old chap, that's where you are going wrong and why you spend your days looking after the less unfortunate of your society while I'm sipping G&T's with your Ambassador, you obviously ain't going with the times. You know, change.

Clearly you are stuck somewhere in the past, in the one you prefer nonetheless, but don't let me explain, let's see what Wiki got to say about Hungaria.

"It has a respectable football history, having won three Olympic titles, finishing runners-up in the 1938 and 1954 FIFA World Cups, and third in the 1964 UEFA European Football Championship. Hungary revolutionized the sport in the 1950s, laying the tactical fundamentals of Total Football and dominating international football with the remarkable Golden Team which included legend Ferenc Puskás, top goalscorer of the 20^th century,[2][3][4] whom FIFA dedicated[5] its newest award, the Puskás Award. The side of that era has the all-time highest Football Elo Ranking in the world, with 2166 in 1954, also they have the highest all-time Elo ranking of 2166, set in 1956, and one of the longest undefeated runs in football history, remaining unbeaten in 31 games, spanning over more than 4 years and including matches such as the Match of the Century.

On 23 May 1954 the Hungarian national team beat England by 7–1, which has been the biggest defeat of England"

Of course, shortly after Russia walked into the door, and we went from Football to all those Gymnastics and Wrestling, which just shows how gay those Russians are. What could we do, it was either that or spend the rest of your days playing with somewhat different balls over in Siberia while being force fed to Mosquitos. Utterly atrocious, no?

Stand on your own two feet? No doubt that must have been the reason why you plunged your well manicured toes into pretty much every country your wonderfully shaven, Burberry clad legs could reach those times.

You see, you lack an essential part of being successful in todays world. I use the German Passport, as it whisks me pass any immigration desk on the planet, apart from a Kenyan one in my case, but other than that, Whhhoooosssshhhh .... and I'm thru. I spread my love of Palinka, Piroschka and Paprikasch all across my travels with a delightful passion, at the same time converse in Bahasa Malay or Indonesia, pretty much the same thing really, while having Sate's and Nasi Goreng either in Jakarta or on a beach in Bali, telling everybody about my Indonesian roots, which in my case mainly translates to lays, and then I'm already off thru the streets of Singapore or Hong Kong, telling my taxi driver in Cantonese to take me to Lan Kwei Fong for old memories sake. Of course, let's not forget running across the Serengeti in my red loin cloth, pretending to be the only white Massai in the village.

You got to be flexible in todays world old chap, just like Bruce Lee said so many years ago with his Bamboo or Water bla bla, or else they take you and you end up answering all those phone calls from the nut jobs of your neighbourhood.

"Charles, what's the bloody matter with you, she looks like a horse!"

"But Mom, she is English."

"Oh, but of course."

You say I am stuck in the past then go onto to list hungarys football achievements from the 1950s and 1960s!? You then go on to blame Russia for their decline in world football?, hungary has been free from the Russian yoke for over 23 years. Why have they come nowhere near to becoming a world power in football again in those over two decades?

Let's look at the FIFA world rankings shall we? England 7^th hungary 33^rd. Hmmmm when can we expect the next Puskas? I will tell you something i won't be holding my breath. So hungary used to have a good football team? Great Britain used to have the biggest empire in world history but who cares? Its all in the past you accuse me of living in schweinhund.

Good job you haven't got a Hungarian passport otherwise your travels would have been limited to the other eastern european hellholes that border hungary.

I myself have travelled to many countries and lived in a few but all those travels taught me rather than expanding my mind was that, and I quote the late great Cecil Rhodes:- “you are an Englishman and consequently have won first prize in the lottery of life”.

I really couldn't have put it better myself. So as you hob nob with the ambassador and tug your forelock to the assembled dignitaries don't forget about us poor old hoi poloi. Fighting on the front line of the war of life as you hide in the rear with the gear where you belong because let's face it you simply aren't equipped do deal with helping the most vulnerable people in society. Its a vocation you will never understand or even comprehend.

CN and Mo, I have to admit, this banter is far more intellectual than the CN/Dick banter which mainly consisted of 'Shitbird this & Shitbird that'.

Bravo to the both of you on the upgrade.

We're all appreciative!

(05-25-2013, 11:17 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: CN and Mo, I have to admit, this banter is far more intellectual than the CN/Dick banter which mainly consisted of 'Shitbird this & Shitbird that'.

Bravo to the both of you on the upgrade.

We're all appreciative!

Pfffft....tl;dr

(05-25-2013, 11:17 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: CN and Mo, I have to admit, this banter is far more intellectual than the CN/Dick banter which mainly consisted of 'Shitbird this & Shitbird that'.

Bravo to the both of you on the upgrade.

We're all appreciative!

Dick was good at the ad hominem attack. In fact every response Dick made incorporated an ad hominem in it. To carry on a discourse with him for any length of time required a person to lower himself to Dick's level or give up in frustration at the redundancy of his degrading words and attacks. My admiration for CN came as I saw him not only able to devastate Dick at Dick's toilet level but aspire to so much more.

(05-25-2013, 11:17 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: CN and Mo, I have to admit, this banter is far more intellectual than the CN/Dick banter which mainly consisted of 'Shitbird this & Shitbird that'.

Bravo to the both of you on the upgrade.

We're all appreciative!

Many thanks.

Never let it be said I am not prepared to up my game for a more challenging opponent.

There will no doubt be more enjoyment to come, as a chess player I am always thinking four or five moves ahead.

(05-26-2013, 12:18 AM)ZEROSPHERES Wrote: Dick was good at the ad hominem attack. In fact every response Dick made incorporated an ad hominem in it. To carry on a discourse with him for any length of time required a person to lower himself to Dick's level or give up in frustration at the redundancy of his degrading words and attacks. My admiration for CN came as I saw him not only able to devastate Dick at Dick's toilet level but aspire to so much more.

Dick was my forum chew toy.

I humiliated him here on a daily sometimes hourly basis.

I was like a giant holding a midget at arms length while repeatedly kicking him in the groin.

It was like the Falklands conflict, a range war. British warships had a far greater firing range than Argentinian warships. They would basically come to a full stop outside of the firing range of the Argentinian ships then shell the shit out of them with impunity.

(05-25-2013, 11:27 PM)crash Wrote: Pfffft....tl;dr

Pfffft ....ti;dm
(to insignificant, doesn't matter)

Morning time in Angela's office, when she picks up her black, red, golden coloured phone and dials the number of whoever is in fucking charge of Cyprus.

"Hallo?"

"Ja, hallo, is that the office of the Chief Tzaitziki in Cyprus?"

"Yes."

"Good. You know what just happened in Greece, ja?"

"Yes"

"Good. We don't want that to happen to us ... ja?"

"No."

"Good. You got a shitload of those disgusting Brits on that island of yours who put all their money into your banks, ja?"

"Yes."

"Good, now this is what I want you to do or else I send my Love Parade down onto your island as well as playing Wagner ²⁴⁄₇ on that crappy radio station you got down there, understood?"

"Yes mam."

"Wunderbar."

And this is how we kick you Brits in the balls these days!

Anyway, before we pollute the whole place with our mutual love, I was thinking I shall create our very own thread, you know, like our very own G-Spot, then again, how would you know about such a thing, right? You are English after all.

What you think?

(05-26-2013, 12:18 AM)ZEROSPHERES Wrote: To carry on a discourse with him for any length of time required a person to lower himself to Dick's level

I'm guilty of that.

(05-26-2013, 06:40 AM)Mohammed Wrote:

(05-25-2013, 11:27 PM)crash Wrote: Pfffft....tl;dr

Pfffft ....ti;dm
(to insignificant, doesn't matter)

Morning time in Angela's office, when she picks up her black, red, golden coloured phone and dials the number of whoever is in fucking charge of Cyprus.

"Hallo?"

"Ja, hallo, is that the office of the Chief Tzaitziki in Cyprus?"

"Yes."

"Good. You know what just happened in Greece, ja?"

"Yes"

"Good. We don't want that to happen to us ... ja?"

"No."

"Good. You got a shitload of those disgusting Brits on that island of yours who put all their money into your banks, ja?"

"Yes."

"Good, now this is what I want you to do or else I send my Love Parade down onto your island as well as playing Wagner ²⁴⁄₇ on that crappy radio station you got down there, understood?"

"Yes mam."

"Wunderbar."

And this is how we kick you Brits in the balls these days!

Anyway, before we pollute the whole place with our mutual love, I was thinking I shall create our very own thread, you know, like our very own G-Spot, then again, how would you know about such a thing, right? You are English after all.

What you think?

Again with the “we”, by “we” do you mean German? I thought you only had a kraut passport for “convenience” to facilitate your globetrotting pseudo playboy lifestyle fucknut?

Time to make a decision you euro mongrel, sausage munching nazi or ghoulash gobbling eastern european trash? Maybe you should flip a coin fatboy.

As for a kraut criticising someones sexual technique? Oh please! Krauts know both sexual positions “on top of” and “underneath”! Their complete lack of imagination and freedom of expression follows krauts into the bedroom.

“Guten targ Helga how was your date last night?”

“Ja it was acceptable we went to a reasonably priced sausage house near the flurgenjurgenburgen district and toasted each other with steins as fat as our heads”

“Ah! Das is gudt, then what did you do?”

“We proceded to a trendy techno club where we danced in a stiff and regimented manner to the latest hits by Kraftwerk and David Hasselhoff”

“Did you take him home to your sparsely decorated bauhaus in the spankenlichtenfuhrer district where you live?”

“Ja we watched the latest gangsta rap videos on the uberghetto channel then we proceded in an orderly fashion to the bedroom”

“Was he emotionally cold and distant in the bedroom Helga”

“Ja his balls were like ice cubes the sex was...efficient”

“Did he know both positions helga”

“Ja on top of AND underneath”

“Then what happened?”

“We each lit a cigarette turned our backs on each other and stared enigmatically into the middle distance”