I have a few waddling around the backyard and I swear I would shoot them fuckers if I knew I could blow their heads clean off. I need some fucking night vision goggles . Fuckers get under my barn and shed and set up a condo with their freakin babies. Cocksucker!

Have any grenades?

Yep Godamn Skunks!

Last night it was cool outside, so had the window open. All of a sudden around 11 PM, a Skunk let loose, and the stench quickly filled the room. Shut the window but it was too late!

I once was sprayed by a skunk. I reeked.

Scoobie got sprayed last year. It was awful! The stench gets into everything and takes forever to go away.

(08-09-2013, 10:29 PM)Maggot Wrote: I have a few waddling around the backyard and I swear I would shoot them fuckers if I knew I could blow their heads clean off. I need some fucking night vision goggles . Fuckers get under my barn and shed and set up a condo with their freakin babies. Cocksucker!

Mass murder is a pretty drastic solution. There are alternatives!

Baby skunks are majorly cute. Lots of people are majorly ignorant and suckers for "cute" (remember the Brazilian rats passed off as poodles?).

Just an option for consideration:

1. Be nice to the skunks; make them comfortable.


2. Then, bait them out with some tasty morsels and trap 'em. If they've started puberty already, trim down any bushy parts.

3. Put 'em in a basket and take the kids down to a supermarket that you don't frequent, with a sign reading, "Sylvester Puddy Tat Kittens $10 each - Need Good Homes".


4. Feel good in knowing that you spared the lives of innocent critters who will be in good loving homes; skunks adapt easily (plus, they're crafty).


Not an original idea; I jacked it from Pepe Le Pew, but it'll work and you'll pocket a little cash to boot.

As User would say, they are stinkin' cute!

(08-10-2013, 11:09 AM)Duchess Wrote:

As User would say, they are stinkin' cute!

How'd you know???

We had a pet skunk growing up. His name was B.O.

At varying times, we also had a chameleon, soft shell turtles assorted box turtles, a boa constrictor, rattle snakes, rats, hamsters, king snakes, a raccoon (Bandit, of course), frogs and on and on. My brother should have been a zoologist. It was all good until he asked to feed my hamster to the boa. Unfortunately, it was the stupid cat that got the hamster after I taunted her with it.

(08-10-2013, 12:35 PM)username Wrote: How'd you know???

When I posted the pic of the kittens that was the expression you used, it stuck with me, now all the critters are "stinkin' cute".

(08-10-2013, 12:35 PM)username Wrote: Unfortunately, it was the stupid cat that got the hamster after I taunted her with it.

That leaves a mental scar.

(08-10-2013, 02:26 PM)Jimbone Wrote:

(08-10-2013, 12:35 PM)username Wrote: Unfortunately, it was the stupid cat that got the hamster after I taunted her with it.

That leaves a mental scar.

It did. I killed my brother's rat too. :(

ETA: My dad killed his boa. Put its cage in the sun and cooked it.

Sounds like a plot from pet cemetery!

Somebody so hell bent on shooting something so smalll and so defenceless shooting a skunk presents no challenge whatsoever.

This is a man who can't shoot a moving target he prefers a stationery target who will stare directly into his eyes as he raises his gun and just stand there.

We call them pussies! Mofo!

I just realized he really is pissed. He said cocksucker.

I had a pet skunk too when I was a kid. He really only liked me and would bite everyone else. He somehow got out of the screened porch and we never saw poor Pepper again. We also had a flying squirrel named Daisy, I don't even know what the hell happened to her.

(08-10-2013, 05:43 PM)Cynical Ninja Wrote: This is a man who can't shoot a moving target he prefers a stationery target who will stare directly into his eyes as he raises his gun and just stand there.

Maggot's already admitted to being a wild critter serial killer.

Still, he strikes me as a generally decent smart-ass.

While I wouldn't trust him alone with my beaver, I don't think he'd execute my pet cat or anything.

(08-10-2013, 08:12 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:

(08-10-2013, 05:43 PM)Cynical Ninja Wrote: This is a man who can't shoot a moving target he prefers a stationery target who will stare directly into his eyes as he raises his gun and just stand there.

Maggot's already admitted to being a wild critter serial killer.

Still, he strikes me as a generally decent smart-ass.

While I wouldn't trust him alone with my beaver, I don't think he'd execute my pet cat or anything.

I think it's wise to keep the beaver under lock and key. Just to be on the safe side, keep the pet pussy locked up too.

Its hard to shoot a skunk in the head when their walking and you really don't want a body shot. I think I will just chicken wire the places on the walls that are open during the day and leave one spot open. Then sprinkle some flour so I can see his tracks going out at night then close up the last hole. Maybe he will go bug someone else.
All the babies are gone, but every spring they find a way under there. I poisoned them a few years ago and they died under the structure. I just tossed some lime on the bodies and a bit of dirt.
They stayed away for quite awhile after that. I remember finding a litter with a friend of mine, we must have been 11 yrs old and my Mom freaked out when we brought them in the kitchen. I dislike the critters now though.

(08-10-2013, 10:03 PM)Maggot Wrote: Its hard to shoot a skunk in the head when their walking and you really don't want a body shot. I think I will just chicken wire the places on the walls that are open during the day and leave one spot open. Then sprinkle some flour so I can see his tracks going out at night then close up the last hole. Maybe he will go bug someone else.
All the babies are gone, but every spring they find a way under there. I poisoned them a few years ago and they died under the structure. I just tossed some lime on the bodies and a bit of dirt.
They stayed away for quite awhile after that. I remember finding a litter with a friend of mine, we must have been 11 yrs old and my Mom freaked out when we brought them in the kitchen. I dislike the critters now though.

It may wind up easier for you to just move.

Put them in the washing machine. It might void any warranty you have, however, since it states in the user manual not to place any non-laundry objects, such as shoes, food waste, or animals into the washer. But you can always just lie and say you don't know what happened to it. They don't need to know you overloaded it with critters.