I have a dream...

I would like to break the tie for the lamest mock thread ever.

Arguably, ramseycat's "Rice Cakes Rock!" drivel and Midwest Spy's "Who's Got the Biggest Bush at Mock?" idiocy are tied for lamest.

My entry: Make a Mocker/food simile.

I'll start, with @crash.

Crash is like peanut butter.

He's a little unpredictable; sometimes smooth as silk, and sometimes a bit crunchy.

He's never too sweet, and only rarely too salty.

He would make a good bread-spread.

He (usually) leaves a good taste in my mouth. Best followed up with several swallows of milk (as if there was a choice ).

Crash is like peanut butter.

I'd like to argue the biggest bush thread led to some intense group speculation.

Gotta go now, as mine is in need of a trim.

Bye.

(11-21-2013, 04:31 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: Bye.

Oh sure, be gracious and make it easy for me to swipe the lamest title right out from under you.

Midwest Spy's like a banana; he's split.

He's sometimes too mushy for my taste, but almost always has appeal (or, "a peel", since he doesn't like it when we don't point out the obvious).

In any case, he's occasionally a bit green, but typically sweet - with enough substance to be satisfying.

Plus, he's well-suited for being surrounded by nuts and when he's dishing the scoop just right, I scream ("ice cream", MS) for more.

He definitely has good taste.

Midwest Spy is like a banana.

I suppose I should return serve..

@HotD

HotD is like a good single malt.

At first taste I have to think.

Do I need to strip back the layers for the hidden flavours underneath? Delve through the complexities? I usually need time to digest it.

Mostly I get there and it will be enlightening, or make me reflect. Other times I realise I'm just overthinking and the flavour wasn't meant to be dissected or complex, it just is what it is; no need to look any further.

Like a good single malt, HotD can look great, innocent and playful on the surface but pack a heavy, hidden punch and often leave middle aged men feeling like a dick.

HotD is a fine single malt..

(11-21-2013, 06:08 PM)crash Wrote: I suppose I should return serve..

You didn't have to, but I'm glad you did. Thanks, I think.

(11-21-2013, 06:08 PM)crash Wrote: @HotD

Like a good single malt, HotD can look great, innocent and playful on the surface but pack a heavy, hidden punch...

HotD is a fine single malt..

I'm glad you're one that's okay with getting a little bit punch drunk on occasion.

No doubt, you'd make a fine single malt liquor ("licker", MS - yeah, I'm getting a little porno here).

I must get over my pistachio high before replying to this.

CN is like a knockwurst.

Short, plump and full of shit.

He's zesty and snappy and lends himself well to mustard and rye.

If that old knockwurst could talk, the stories you would hear about fat krauts.

Aussie is like a Payday bar.

Nutty and salty on the outside, sticky on the inside.

Or, a bright sweet colorful Fruit Loop.

Depends on the day.


Aussie is like a Payday bar or a Fruit Loop.

(11-21-2013, 10:28 PM)sally Wrote: CN is like a knockwurst.

Short, plump and full of shit.

He's zesty and snappy and lends himself well to mustard and rye.

(11-21-2013, 10:28 PM)sally Wrote: CN is like a knockwurst.

Short, plump and full of shit.

He's zesty and snappy and lends himself well to mustard and rye.

roflmao!

@Ramsey

Ramsey is like a turkey.

She's a little bit weird when you first see her. She tends to gobble on and make a lot of noise and divert a lot of attention her way. She's not the brightest bird in the flock.

Like a turkey, Ramsey is extremely protective of her own. She watches over them ferverishly and will henpeck the fuck out of anything that poses a threat.

Also like turkey, Ramsey is an acquired taste. For some people she's an old family favourite, for others just the other white meat that puts you to sleep.

Ramsey is a turkey.

(11-21-2013, 10:28 PM)sally Wrote: CN is like a knockwurst.

Short, plump and full of shit.

He's zesty and snappy and lends himself well to mustard and rye.

I like that!

Sally is like a full English breakfast.

Unhealthly, fattening, better taken with a large pinch of salt and much more fun than oatmeal.

(11-22-2013, 12:44 AM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Aussie is like a Payday bar.

Nutty and salty on the outside, sticky on the inside.

Or, a bright sweet colorful Fruit Loop.

Depends on the day.


Aussie is like a Payday bar or a Fruit Loop.

Well, HoTD I really don't know what to say to that.

Clang is like a meatball.

He's heavy, round and often filled with cheese. He thinks he looks fancy dressed in sauce and sits around doing nothing like a rock.

People like him though, he's cheap and goes well with spaghetti.

Meatballs are really versatile. I like them as an entree or inside pasta or a sandwich. Kinda plain or extra spicy; both good.

I even like the little meatballs in Spaghetti-Os (the little franks, too).

(11-22-2013, 08:22 AM)aussiefriend Wrote: Well, HoTD I really don't know what to say to that.

It's okay. You have the right to remain silent, Payday.

(11-22-2013, 09:08 AM)sally Wrote: Clang is like a meatball.He's heavy, round and often filled with cheese. He thinks he looks fancy dressed in sauce and sits around doing nothing like a rock.People like him though, he's cheap and goes well with spaghetti.

lol. you get me.

Sally is like cranberry vodka tonics: little bit sweet, little bit tart, always seems like fun at the beginning of the night, but sooner or later someone indulges her a little too much and gets their ass kicked or winds up hugging a toilet...