(03-09-2014, 06:07 PM)kevvome Wrote: I well remember Sylvia. I met her for the first time and she started to look into a crystal ball to see if we had a future together. Suddenly she went pale and rushed from the room. I grabbed the crystal ball and chased her and beat her to death with it.
I wonder what she saw in that thing?

Sylvia was the real deal, just like Bono.

I'm betting she saw two fateful paths for her future.

Path 1. You naked, putting the scrub moves on her, having your way with her, and then offering her your phone number (i.e. the number for Oil of Olay headquarters or the Depends factory or something clever like that).

Path 2. You chasing after her and then fatally bashing her brains in with a crystal ball, before she allowed her dementia-riddled brain to pull her towards Path 1.

In a moment of clarity, she chose the lesser of two evils.

(03-09-2014, 06:26 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:

(03-09-2014, 06:07 PM)kevvome Wrote: I well remember Sylvia. I met her for the first time and she started to look into a crystal ball to see if we had a future together. Suddenly she went pale and rushed from the room. I grabbed the crystal ball and chased her and beat her to death with it.
I wonder what she saw in that thing?

Sylvia was the real deal, just like Bono.

I'm betting she saw two fateful paths for her future.

Path 1. You naked, putting the scrub moves on her, having your way with her, and then offering her your phone number (i.e. the number for Oil of Olay headquarters or the Depends factory or something clever like that).

Path 2. You chasing after her and then fatally bashing her brains in with a crystal ball, before she allowed her dementia-riddled brain to pull her towards Path 1.

In a moment of clarity, she chose the lesser of two evils.

I was quite going along with your comments until you said Sylvia had a moment of clarity.
I knew you had problems when i read that.

(03-09-2014, 06:26 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Sylvia was the real deal, just like Bono.

Oh fuck that. HoTD I am sick of you twisting my words and misquoting me.

Look HoTD it's the skywhale and it's the real deal too!

(03-09-2014, 07:29 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: Look HoTD it's the skywhale and it's the real deal too!

Brings back memories of the big fat chick I went home with Aussie. except she didn't have as many tits.

That is the ugliest form of transportation I have ever seen.

(03-09-2014, 08:22 PM)Maggot Wrote: That is the ugliest form of transportation I have ever seen.

Not true maggot.
You shoulda seen my ex wife when she carried the baby.

(03-09-2014, 08:37 PM)kevvome Wrote:

(03-09-2014, 08:22 PM)Maggot Wrote: That is the ugliest form of transportation I have ever seen.

Not true maggot.
You shoulda seen my ex wife when she carried the baby.

I bet she looked at you with dagger eyes.

(03-09-2014, 06:54 PM)kevvome Wrote: I knew you had problems when i read that.

Ah, don't be that way.

My problem is that I'm a chronic smart-ass -- I was just kidding.

Seriously, any incontinent 77 year-old dimension-ridden psychic woman would probably rather have sex with you than die a violent bludgeoning death. Maybe.

And, I really mean that.

(03-09-2014, 09:23 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:

(03-09-2014, 06:54 PM)kevvome Wrote: I knew you had problems when i read that.

Ah, don't be that way.

My problem is that I'm a chronic smart-ass -- I was just kidding.

Seriously, any incontinent 77 year-old dimension-ridden psychic woman would probably rather have sex with you than die a violent bludgeoning death. Maybe.

And, I really mean that.

Aw hell. I really shamed you into making this humble apology didn't I? And there you go again, telling us all what a smart ass you are. Hell I'm only new here and I knew you were, right from the beginning. But confession is good for the soul so they say (although I doubt it, especially if you confess to the cops). Maybe you aren't as stupid as I thought you were.
Maybe.
And a dimension-ridden old hag is no good for me. Now if she were DEMENTIA-ridden it would help.

(03-09-2014, 10:11 PM)kevvome Wrote: And a dimension-ridden old hag is no good for me. Now if she were DEMENTIA-ridden it would help.

A lady killer and sharp as a tack too, I see.

She was psychic, and we've journeyed into the Twilight Zone, after all. Other dim...hell, nevermind.

Wordplay, foreplay...I like 'em both, but they're not everybody's cup of tea. I get it.

P.s. best check your email, kev. Bet it's bursting with G-spot photos already.

MJ makes these little grunting noises when she poops. It's so cute! What comes out isn't cute. Just pretty stinky.

(03-09-2014, 10:27 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:

(03-09-2014, 10:11 PM)kevvome Wrote: And a dimension-ridden old hag is no good for me. Now if she were DEMENTIA-ridden it would help.

A lady killer and sharp as a tack too, I see.

She was psychic, and we've journeyed into the Twilight Zone, after all. Other dim...hell, nevermind.

Wordplay, foreplay...I like 'em both, but they're not everybody's cup of tea. I get it.

P.s. best check your email, kev. Bet it's bursting with G-spot photos already.

Shaking with excitement i checked my e mail and found.....nothing. Now this either means the ladies here HAVE NO G SPOT, or they are too shy to send me a pic of it, or they don't know where it is.
You are my last hope babydoll. Do I spend the rest of my life in pure ignorance at not knowing about this elusive G spot, or will you send me a pic of this undiscovered (by me) part of the female body that can (apparently) drive her to heights of sexual pleasure that can instantly turn her into a raging nymphomaniac with no other thought than to satisfy her perverted lust on an unsuspecting guy such as I. I must find out....before it's too late and I start jerking off to ladies ear lobes again.
i KNOW YOU HATE ME FOR BEING TOO MACHO BUT pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze Help a fellow human who only wants to find the key to his future happiness. I shall repay you with tales of dastardly deeds done under intense pressure from cock hungry chicks that only want my body as an object for them to orgasm all over me night and day, day and night. xxxx.
I love you. There, I'VE SAID IT.

Even in another dimension, with or without dementia, with you as the only male...I would not be pictorially educating you on the G-spot, kev.

It's not because ramsey harshed the vibe by bringing her dog in here to take a cute little shit. Well, that's not the only reason.

You see, the G-spot is not visible. It's inside the vaginal wall. For real.

Anyway, while I believe you're sincere and I feel the love you're sending my way -- and don't think I'm not giddy about it -- I'm gonna fight the requite with all my might. Gotta protect myself from the inevitable heartbreak, Cassanova.

P.s. Even though it didn't work out between us, I truly wish you the best and hope that you don't let Shirley stand in the way of finding a non-inflatable lover who won't drive you crazy.

I'm 77 !

(03-10-2014, 01:35 AM)Older Than Dirt Wrote: I'm 77 !

Oh shit, OTD.

If you were a couple of years older, kevvome would be all over you like white on rice.

(03-09-2014, 11:37 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Even in another dimension, with or without dementia, with you as the only male...I would not be pictorially educating you on the G-spot, kev.

It's not because ramsey harshed the vibe by bringing her dog in here to take a cute little shit. Well, that's not the only reason.

You see, the G-spot is not visible. It's inside the vaginal wall. For real.

Anyway, while I believe you're sincere and I feel the love you're sending my way -- and don't think I'm not giddy about it -- I'm gonna fight the requite with all my might. Gotta protect myself from the inevitable heartbreak, Cassanova.

P.s. Even though it didn't work out between us, I truly wish you the best and hope that you don't let Shirley stand in the way of finding a non-inflatable lover who won't drive you crazy.

This is gonna take time to get over you, I hope you realise that? But I am ok now. It took 3 seconds. It must only have been lust lil darl. Thank God I managed to control the lurve that I could feel starting to spoil my party. And you could be right about the non-inflatable lover. I used to have a blow-up doll, blonde, 5ft 2'', blue eyes. good tits. I christened her Faun because she was a little dear. It never lasted long as I had a tendency to let her down too many times. But hey. I will move on, I will start again.
Even though I am gutted at your rejection, I already have plans to find the girl of my dreams and marry her. Anyone know the address of Shirley MacLaine?

(03-10-2014, 01:35 AM)Older Than Dirt Wrote: I'm 77 !

Undraped photo please. And a copy of your latest bank statement.
In reverse order.

Ok MS, this one's got you off the hook..

(03-09-2014, 08:15 PM)kevvome Wrote:

(03-09-2014, 07:29 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: Look HoTD it's the skywhale and it's the real deal too!

Brings back memories of the big fat chick I went home with Aussie. except she didn't have as many tits.

It's an actually a work of art done by a local artist here in Australia. Currently in Canberra.