I outed her and she blocked me. I asked her what the deal was because we had previously been cool. She had some crazy reason that I'm jealous of her and her great life blah blah blah. I said no. I just said it's nice Matt was coming for dinner and tagged him in the post. He said what dinner? Ops. Outed. Then I said whatever and moved on. Don't lie and you won't get caught lying.

See? Simple.

I don't want her yelling at me down the phone, its over I accept it, I hope she regrets it and realises what she has done. I am a very loyal good friend. I don't think it's helpful trying to explain it.

I get it Aussie. I'm just surprised you would give up so easily. You've been friends a long time. If it were me I would ask what the deal is. It could be a misunderstanding. If she started telling at me, if hang up and cut my losses.

I am getting more fucked up here talking about it, it's not therapeutic. There's a history, a build up of other shit in January when I was doing that Oprah course and part of it was 'stop blaming people and starting holding people accountable'.

Whatever. Why you can't just ask your friend a simple question is beyond me. I guess you'd rather stew over what you think might be the reason than confront it head on.

I hate confrontation...and I really don't think she would talk to me, take my call, whatever blah blah, there is no respect there. I am not going to talk to someone who treats me with contempt and as Duch said, there was no friendship there, I have to accept it.

Did you already talk to her about this? When you say you outed her secret group did you do it ON FB or privately?

I didn't out her, our mutual friend mentioned her in the other Undercover account/fake/secret account for her close special friends, in which I was not included. I simply replied 'I didn't know that ____ account was ________my friends name, there you go! That's all I said. 'there you go' which in Australian slang is the same as 'there you have it' or 'ok' or 'told you so'.

(07-06-2014, 03:01 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: I didn't out her, our mutual friend mentioned her in the other Undercover account/fake/secret account for her close special friends, in which I was not included. I simply replied 'I didn't know that ____ account was ________my friends name, there you go! That's all I said. 'there you go' which in Australian slang is the same as 'there you have it' or 'ok' or 'told you so'.

So instead of asking her about it, you're upset and hurt. Did it ever occur to you that in the private group they might talk about personal things? And maybe some of the other members who you are NOT close friends with might not want non close friends in the group?

You're a puzzle Aussie. Instead of calling your friend and asking her why she unfriended you or did you say or go something to offend her, you would rather be hurt and upset.

(07-06-2014, 03:08 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Did it ever occur to you that in the private group they might talk about personal things?

This just gets freakier & freakier. Private things as a group? Jeezus.

(07-06-2014, 03:26 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(07-06-2014, 03:08 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Did it ever occur to you that in the private group they might talk about personal things?

This just gets freakier & freakier. Private things as a group? Jeezus.

I don't know how big the group is. It could be 5 or 6 close friends. Or 15 people that don't want Aussie to be a part of it.

I'm a woman (Captain Obvious too!) and I find it very strange that this is how some women act. I think it's weird! I think it's bizarre to "unfriend" people. There isn't an eyeroll big enough for that one and I think it's just as bizarre to have personal, private conversations with a group of women. Gawd. No wonder I have such a poor opinion of the average female. Fuckin' fruitcakes.

I wouldn't just unfriend someone. I agree it's stupid. But I do have a small group of close women and we discuss personal things. I don't discuss EVERYTHING with them. I keep my own council on some things. But it's nice to have friends to vent to or bounce things off of. We share funny stuff and happy stuff. We can say things out loud to each other we would normally never say. Kinda like in here. Lol.

(07-06-2014, 04:32 PM)Duchess Wrote: I'm a woman (Captain Obvious too!) and I find it very strange that this is how some women act. I think it's weird! I think it's bizarre to "unfriend" people. There isn't an eyeroll big enough for that one and I think it's just as bizarre to have personal, private conversations with a group of women. Gawd. No wonder I have such a poor opinion of the average female. Fuckin' fruitcakes.

It's funny stuff, and I don't think it's exclusive to women. I think it's equally funny to get all bent outta shape about any of it. Whether it's on social media or person-to-person, it's the same concept to me.

I've got a couple of friends that go way way back, a couple of business friends, a couple of neighbors with whom I'm friendly.

I'm not joined at the hip with any one of them (well, sometimes one of them -- but he's "special", haha) and don't have to proactively inform them or invite them to join me in things that I do with other friends, lest risk hurting their feelings and getting called out if they "find out'.

They don't invite me to join them in all of their social interactions either; it doesn't make me feel discriminated against that they have parts of their lives and relationships that don't include me. I'd feel like shit if they thought that they had to worry about offending me by living their lives, especially my oldest and closest friends.

Two sides...

I'm done banging my head against the wall trying to get Aussie to understand. It's clear she's rather sulk about the issue than resolve it or just let it go. She can't conceive of a world that doesn't revolve around her.

I think Aussie probably has a sensitive heart and because I'm so fond of her I now want to go hit that unfriending twat with my handbag.

(07-06-2014, 05:45 PM)ramseycat Wrote: I'm done banging my head against the wall trying to get Aussie to understand. It's clear she's rather sulk about the issue than resolve it or just let it go. She can't conceive of a world that doesn't revolve around her.

I get what you were saying, ramsey.

I have old friends from the same circle who do drugs beyond pot and cocktails -- they usually don't invite me to get togethers where they're gonna be partying hard like that. I think that's normal. Actually, I appreciate that they don't extend an invitation that I'm gonna decline anyway.

Sometimes I just wanna talk to KJ alone, or vice versa, about something that isn't any real concern of our other old friend SA. SA and KJ's wife don't get all bent when KJ and I meet up for lunch without asking them to join us.

Everybody's different. Aussie doesn't view it as we do -- but she should handle her friendships as she sees fit.

P.s. I think sally's situation is different; I understand the concern there. It's not like she found out her old friend was interacting with other people without including her and got bent about it. Her friend fell off the map completely without explanation. That happened to me once, too. It was weird and concerning; still is a little bit. But, once I knew she was alive and well, the mystery reason for her detachment pretty much stopped bothering me.

(07-06-2014, 04:46 PM)ramseycat Wrote: I do have a small group of close women and we discuss personal things.

That's not a group, that's a coven and that's exactly what I'm going to try and convince Aussie of.

(07-06-2014, 06:05 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(07-06-2014, 04:46 PM)ramseycat Wrote: I do have a small group of close women and we discuss personal things.

That's not a group, that's a coven and that's exactly what I'm going to try and convince Aussie of.

You promised you wouldn't out me as a witch.

Am I going to be unfriended now?